Thursday, August 23, 2007

This week and a couple funny stories....

This week went pretty well. I had less nausea which was nice and I got a lot done so I felt somewhat useful. Even though I tried so hard this time, I still went to that place where I think of what life would be like without me in it. The weird/good part about it is, I have no regrets. There really are only a few things that I have left to do - go on the Oprah show (I enter the VIP tickets contest every time I think about it!), go the bourbon festival, and go to race car training school. That is it. I have always lived my life respecting that I would not last forever. I have traveled to far off places, made time for my family and friends, and enjoyed my role that developed for me. What I mean by that is that I have become the person that people call to help them figure out what is for dinner, figure out what car to buy, how to manage their finances a little better, help with their teenagers - I love teenagers!, find where to buy something (especially kid related), where to spend their birthday, where to go on their anniversary, etc. I love that - especially now - because I feel pretty darn useless. I makes me feel like I am helping somebody somewhere. Yes, you probably noticed that I didn't mention my boys in the above. How can I say this - they are the best things I have ever done (outside of marrying Grant). I can't protect them from this, but I can do everything in my power to get well. They are why I rally, they are why I go to Chemo, why I accept whatever the doctor's tell me I should do, and why am so thankful that I live here with excellent care, family, and friends. PAUSE. PAUSE AGAIN. Okay, now on to funnier is a couple funny things that happened this past week or so. The first one was when I was on my way to scrapbooking last week. I turned the radio on and the song, "Live like you were dying" was on the country station. I sang to it and, of course, cried, but not because I have regrets, because I have very few. BUT THEN, I changed it to a variety station and "Bust the Move" was on the radio. You know how music and transport you to another time and place....well Bust the Move was popular when I was in college and my college roommate (Cathy, if you are reading - this is about you!), loved that song. Whenever it came on the radio everything stopped and we would sing...especially the part that went something like, "...she says hello come sit next to me you fine run over there without a second to lose and what comes next - bust the move!" Cathy knew all the words - all of them. So, imagine four of the whitest girls in the world, jamming out to bust the move, and thinking they were pretty darn cool......I laughed and laughed and laughed. WHAT DORKS WE WERE! Next story, on the way back from Chemo Elaine, (my driver and long time family friend), said, "I don't know what the big deal is about Krispy Kreme is." I was like, "WHAT THE $%@#($*%($*%)(*$%?!?!?!?!" So I made her drive by the one on 1st Ave in Seattle and said, "If it says serving hot - we are getting some!" The signs were not on and I said, "DARN IT! Well, we can try next time." But Elaine, said, "I am going to go ask." I looked at her like she had six heads, but she didn't care. She went to the drive thru and asked, "Do you have any hot doughnuts?" and the lady was like, "Nope." I am sure she was thinking - that is what the 1700 3 foot by 3 foot signs are for lady!!!! So, we were going to drive away and then we saw pictures of doughnuts....that is all it took.....Elaine shifted in reverse (in the drive thru) and we ordered two doughnuts to go. Happily, we drove home promising that we would go back next time and only order doughnuts when they were serving HOT (r-i-g-h-t!) - only when there hot....good argument! Let's see what happens next time. Well, off to wash boys come home today and I can't wait. Love, me


Anonymous said...

Hmmmm. I just read your latest blog and the BIG RED FLAG is waving, waving, waving. Your statement "I feel pretty darn useless" got my full and undivided attention...big time.

Have you ever thought about why everyone comes to you for advice? Because they know that you will know what to do. You will take action. Plain and simple.

You want to feel like you are helping somebody somewhere. Right now you may not be giving advice on the best birthday present or where to have that anniversary dinner, etc. but what you are giving is a lesson in how to live well - through good times and bad. Talk about helping somebody somwhere....

Each time I read your blog I am awe struck by your inner you are working through the grieving you are so open in sharing your journey. What you are DOING right now, by sharing so intimately with all of us, is providing the best "advice" you have ever given.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you love teenagers, before you know it you will be dealing with two. Right now you are experiencing the best time in parenting, your smile rewards and your frown disciplines but soon (age 13) that changes. So enjoy it now and realize that every moment is setting the example that they will rediscover about age 18. Then your children like your friends will turn to you for advice because they know how wise you are.
Love to you and yours, pat&mag

Auntie Jane Hainsworth said...

In the words of Homer Simpson "Aaannggghhhhh! doughnuts!!!

I'm so missing laughing with you every day......and I miss my boys....Owwwhhhh!!! Kiss them and squeeze them TIGHT for me. Wanhhh!!!

Useless?,You? Never, ever ever ever ever ever. Every day as I try to organize my classroom I think "Where's that Angie? She'd have this whupped by now." There's not much you can't Whup.

Oh and by the way, you realize that every day here on the other, hot, side of the planet (100' every day) someone that I know, who I did not tell your story or that I was going to Seattle, asks me how you are and tells me that they are praying for you, don't you.

Of course they do it with a southern accent. "Huow is yo sista in Seeaaattle doin? Ahm prayin fo huh evvry daay."

Well I don't correct them on the sista part because as far as I'm concerned it's true. (Of course a much younger sister.)

All I can say is that news travels fast and yours is a poignant story. The world wants you well. I think Oprah will be coming to you at this just wait. Love yo olda sista Jaaane

Anonymous said...


I still think we were the coolest white girl rappers of our time not to mention the best looking Hare Krishnas. To this day I can't hear the song "You Shook Me All Night Long" without thinking of you - but that's a story for another day.... :o)

I'm glad that the chemo is getting easier (less nausea) and that it's working!! I think of you often and hopefully Kelly and I will make it over to Seattle to see you soon.


Anonymous said...

Dear Angela: today being Sunday I thought it appropriate to share these two news items with you. The first is the news story about Mother Theresa who spent her life among the sick and afflicted in Calcutta India.Her just published letters reveal that for much of her later life she questioned her faith in God.The second thing that seems worth mentioning was this headline and brief article: Astronomers Find Huge Hole in Universe
(Aug. 24) - Astronomers have stumbled upon a tremendous hole in the universe. That's got them scratching their heads about what's just not there. The cosmic blank spot has no stray stars, no galaxies, no sucking black holes, not even mysterious dark matter. It is 1 billion light years across of nothing. That's a giant expanse of nearly 6 billion trillion miles of emptiness, a University of Minnesota team announced Thursday.
So Angela all of this is by way of saying none of us is smart enough to know the complexities of creation and even the best of us have questions about it's purpose without clear answers. What we do know is that love and caring are real and make this journey of life possible, perhaps that truth is what sustained Mother Theresa.
Love to you and your family, pat&mag

Anonymous said...

I would just like to go on record as saying that I don't get Krispy Kreme's either and you're all crazy for being obsessed with them.

So, it's a hot doughnut. why is that so exciting?