Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Remission Today....

I started cyberknife on November 5th.  Above is a picture that a good friend posted for Mason and Nolan in his blog.  I love it!  The depiction is very accurate except for the person standing there.  When "Leora", the cyberknife machine, is in operation, no one is standing there.  Remember, this is HIGH dose radiation.  You are entombed in a room with 18 inch walls.  I have music and I can call to the operators to take a break.  Break you ask?  Yes, a break.  When I started treatment, we started on the spot with where the markers were "installed".  Leora was able to track my area perfectly and my treatment of that area took 29 mins.  It ends up being a little more because they have to line you up, etc.  So, I was on the table for around 45 mins.  The best way I can describe it is that I am a possum playing dead and I am being sniffed by a dinosaur that sound like R2 D2.  When we started treating my second spot, a voice came over the intercom and said, "Well, Leora can see it, but it will take an hour.  In addition, I have to wear a special shirt and have lights attached to my torso so that another machine can track my breathing so that Leora, all 2500 tons of her, can move the laser with my breath.  It is crazy and cool. This machine that is a bit noisy when it moves into is 150 different positions ever so gently moves with my breath.  I am thankful, but there is work to it.  On this spot, I spend 90 mins in one position.  The first treatment, I had to stop and take a break.  The second treatment, I got through, but I was like, "Leora, getter done because I am in PAIN!"  The days have flow by with 3 hours of everyday driving to treatment, driving home, coordinating childcare, etc.  I have been so tired from all the driving, from stretching like Gumby every night so that I can stay in one position which is not that comfortable on a hard table for 90 mins without a break.  I have been so involved in the moment of it all I forgot about today................................Today at 1:00pm I will be done with treatment and in remission.  Today I will leave that building and not have another doc appointment (after Thursday) for two weeks.  I will have Thanksgiving and Christmas without chemo.  Now, they tell me that I may get a cough which, knowing how I am, I will.  They also told me that in about 2 weeks I will be very tired and that I should cut my "to do" list in half for 60 days.  Tired?  Cough?  Bring it!  Today at 1pm, I will be free.  Love, Ang