Sunday, May 19, 2019
First things first.....I apologize. I know that I am so behind on phone calls, scheduling, etc. I do feel and believe in my core that I am a horrible friend which as a loved cancer patient you get used to. I have been a bit overwhelmed with everyone's kindness, sweets, food, emails, and texts. I do see it all, I do feel all the love it brings, thank you. Please know that I have heard and seen all of them and I will get to them even if it is just to read again in the middle of the night (worst time for me). Okay, enough of that.......
Medical Update: I have had three Keytruda sessions. My next is scheduled for May 30th. I am doing well on it. I have much less anxiety going to infusion. In fact, during the last one, I really did not even notice that I was getting the drug. Sometimes, I feel a flutter or get REALLY tired when it comes in, but I didn't this last time, but there was a lot to celebrate see below (Nashville and Kentucky Derby). I do get tired especially the week after treatment, but that fades. The most notable side effect was "dizziness and inability to make a decision". Here is how that can play out.... It was a crazy day. Early release, going to the passport office, Nolan being picked up by Mom, Grant coming home early to go to the passport office for Mason, finding it, expecting long lines, but not having them, Grant working from home in the the afternoon, Mason because he had new found time going to "work" at the bike shop, Nolan playing with the neighbors, etc. The schedule had changed so many times from the anticipated schedule, I guess my brain could not keep up. So, at one point, Grant turned to me and said, "I need to go pick up some barrels for a site." and then said, "You don't look so good. What is going on?" I was dizzy and I had to crouch down to not fall over. I could really explain what was going on and I didn't really know myself, but in the back of my brain I remembered this was a side effect. Grant said, "I am not going. You are acting strange." All I could say is, "How long (will you be gone)?" He miraculously knew what I was talking about and said, "Thirty minutes." I told him to go. "This is not a death thing. This is a rest thing. I will just rest." So, he leaves. I close the garage door and go to the freezer to get something out for dinner. The garage door opener light goes off. I am still standing at the freezer, but could decide what or how to prepare anything in there. I close the freezer. PITCH BLACK - there are no windows in my garage. I try to turn on the flashlight on my phone. Couldn't figure it out. Hell, I could have reopened the freezer, but that did not occur to me. So, I turned around and slid my back down the freezer. I'll just sit. This will pass. I really don't know how long I was there, but slowly I thought. I should sit in the kitchen and I could see the light around the door. It passed, like a thought - or did I? Dinner was pizza. When I told Hank about it, he said, "If it keeps happening, we will have to address it, but for now....DO LESS." A scan will come in the next couple of months. It is not as clear of a schedule as Chemo was. Picking when the scan seem to be a bit more timing, blood work, even feeling. So, we will see when that comes. There is also more for me to do on the horizon, but that is for another day......
Life Update: I CELEBRATED MY 50TH YEAR WITH MY COLLEGE GIRLFRIENDS IN NASHVILLE AND WENT TO THE KENTUCKY DERBY!!!!!! Yes, I wore a hat, and the dress, and, as I learned in perfect time, flip flops with a rain poncho. I looked great and then just wet and a little sad. Two things on my bucket list were Tennessee particularly Nashville. I was there when I was seven and I ALWAYS knew I wanted to go back as a big girl. And the Kentucky Derby! Michelli, a college friend, had devised this plan on going to the Kentucky Derby for our 50th and the plan developed from there. Nashville Trolley Tour; the Grand Ole Opera Tour; Group pictures on the Ryman Circle in the stage; the Bluebird Cafe; air bnb; companion fare on Alaska; can everyone make i; has everyone marked there calendars; when do we send which money; where do we send the money; what restaurants do we want to make a point of getting to; what should we have a the house; who sleeps where; how many people and luggage can you really get into a minivan with hat boxes; my hat was crushable, her hat wasn't; two bought the same dress, return dress, get another dress; where do you buy the bacon and bourbon marshmallows; there is an EXACT replica of the Parthenon in Nashville; What is your heat? It is not "Shut the cluck up!"; anything with peanut butter; the beautiful relived memory of a house filled with women, the smell of hairdryers, fresh showers, bacon, and good smelly stuff (I include this because it did not smell like hockey equipment, pubescent boys, or wet dog.); hats, hats, and men and women matching attire; beautiful clothes; Abe Lincoln; horseshoe Pandora charms; mint juleps (which I am now convinced is why the South lost the war); mint juleps, mint juleps, mint juleps; learning to bet; souvenir mint juleps glasses; 12th Race; throwing tickets; looking for tickets; some happy; some really angry; freezing; driving "home"; getting warm; pack; how are we out of toilet paper?; night before good byes, 4:00am "I love yous and I love you toos."; journey home. BEST 50TH EVER! Two years, 30000 email, 10000 texts, countless hours on the phone, buying tickets, changing tickets and more that I never saw.......MICHELLI YOU ARE TRULY ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING ORGANIZERS AROUND! BRAVA! Ten years ago at the Sleeping Lady I told God (yes, I told him), I wanted more of "this". Celebration, friends, good times, adventures....all of it. He (and you all) did not disappoint.
Posted by Angela Clarno at 6:36 AM