Tuesday, July 30, 2013

In my house....

So, I write to you one month since my last post.  Quite honestly until now I have had nothing to post about.  Most of the time, if I have something to say, I MUST say it.  If I do not, it haunts me and literally keeps me up at night.  There is was last night again.  So, here goes.....The weeks have been moving along - Camp Barachah (faith based adventure camp with Carter and Ethan) DONE; Camping at Lake Chelan with John Knox (my church) DONE; Gymnastics camp with Mia since she was tired of trying to teach Mason and Nolan a cartwheel (which they still can't do but I still can since they double dared me on the last day of camp) DONE; Summer Adventures Started; Nordstrom Anniversary Sale DONE; Donna's Cabin in Plain DONE; and then there was Camping on Lopez Island.  Grant and I have not been to Lopez Island in AGES.  The last time we went was before kids when everyone else had them and we had no plans on New Year's Eve.  Oddly, or should I say sleepily, neither did Lopez Island.  This camping trip was a reunion of people Grant worked with when his old company was RETEC.  WOW, there were people there that I had never met and people there that I meet 20 years ago.  How fun - really, I had so much fun.  But, as with anything when you do not see people for a long time, they ask, "And, how are you?  You look great."  Clearly, the bar for looking great is still pretty low since I was wearing my camping gear and didn't wear a stitch of makeup all weekend including the trip over.  I am actually okay if that never changes.  It seems to be working in my favor.  That is when I realized that I had not talked about my cancer in a month.  Sure, I have seen my oncologist, but we really don't talk about it, just my blood, when I need to come in again, when to remind him to order my scan, etc. And I know Grant I and say things like, "Well, do you think you can coach two soccer teams again?  If I get through my scan in August, I will be good.  But remember last time, that didn't work out and life stunk."  So, I know it comes up, but it is such a task oriented thing now.  Of course, I told each person that asked that I was doing well.  In addition, the person I have been going to chemo with was on this camping trip.  She is doing so well, and we will be going to the last chemo session for her on Thursday.  She will then be done with chemo.  (Now, by her calculations she will not be done until after the following Tuesday when she starts to feel better.  I can give her that.)  Thank Goodness.  She has been a rock star, stead fast, and she wears hats BEAUTIFULLY.  Towards the end of the weekend, people started talking to me about going with her and how good it was for her and for me to do it.  Now, please do not get me wrong, I appreciate that and I acknowledge that it may look like that to someone that has not done it.  But here is the deal.....that is the way it is done.  Pure and simple.  When cancer shows up on the doorstep, people come out of the woodwork and help you.  I have never been alone.  NEVER.  For example, are you aware that I have menu options from more than I can count of certain food contributors?  Yes.  I actually get to choose my food.  Do you know that Sarah, who does the food calendar, has actually been told that they are upset for not getting on the calendar enough?  Do you know that I have filled my freezer four times with premade dinners for six months through donations?  Do you know that Elaine Miller has been to over 80 chemo appointments and only misses them if she is out of the area?  Do you know that she is the one that believed I was having an allergic reaction before anyone else when I stopped breathing during chemo all those years ago? Do you know that Karissa has had the WORST JOB ever for six years and is mad when she can't take me to disconnect?  Do you know that my kids know my parents house better than I do?  Do you know that my neighborhood knows every time I am in chemo just by the pattern of cars in the driveway?  Do you know that my dentist has not only waved every cancellation penalty but offered free treatment to me when I lost dental?  Do you know who many billing people have gone to bat for me?  Do you know how many docs call me directly without an appointment?  Do you know how many emails addresses I have for my doctors - I am talking DIRECT...that is unheard of.  And, do you know that I have raised just under $10,000 for the American Cancer Society because of all of you?  Yeah.  With cancer, you are not alone and either is she.  I have been honored to be with her at her treatments, enjoyed doing big lunches before she goes so that I know she is full of whatever she wants, and I will forever be there for her 24 hours a day/7 days a week.  She is in my house now as I am in so many others.  So, there, I get to sleep tonight.  Happy Tuesday, Ang