Tuesday, January 4, 2011

My status

Wow, so much as happened since my last post it is almost mind blowing, but I will attempt to update you. Most people want to know how I am, but let me update you first of how other things are that have taken a fair amount of my attention. First, my insurance companies are now paying! HAPPY FLIPPIN' NEW YEAR TO ME! No more letters that say, you owe us $296, $71, and $272,000 dollars! Yeah, I am a little expensive right now. I like to say my ass is worth a TON of money! Then, our furnace went out. GREAT. Real life sometimes is inconvenient, but luckily, I kinda knew this may happen because chemo makes you clairvoyant and had already scheduled the quotes, so the new furnace comes Thursday and with all the donated space heaters (thanks to the Girls and my Parents) the house is comfortable (with a fair amount of clothes). Okay, now to me. On December 21st, I saw my colorectal surgeon. Those appointments are the BEST. So, what do you want - the good news or the bad news???? Bad news it is! Okay, by his determination and the fifteenth student that he has "shown" me to, he told me that my rectal lesion appears to be a little bigger than before. So, it appears that it is no longer responding to chemo. Okay, so that is the bad news. So, he says, "You have a scan coming up and chemo next week. So, let's have you do chemo and, then the scan, and, then we will determine whether to continue chemo for the lungs and monitor your rectum or put you in day surgery to remove the rectal lesion." Okay, did you read "day surgery"? "Day surgery" has never been on the radar. I have NEVER heard anyone say "day surgery" to me. I have heard colostomy, I have heard seven day hospital stay, pooping in a bag, possible reconstruction, and J-pouch. I repeat IN THREE AND A HALF YEARS I HAVE NEVER HEARD "DAY SURGERY". Okay, back to the story.....imagine me looking at him STUNNED - deer in the headlights sort of look - and saying, "Day surgery?" and him responding with, "Yeah, we shrunk it and I think I can get it all" in a "no big deal" sorta way. Still stunned he looks at me like, "Where have you been? This was the goal. How did you not know this?" and I am just still stunned. I shake my head, clear my thoughts, look at my watch, and say, "Well, if I stop eating now we can do it tomorrow!" "No we can't. I have to talk to Hank." "Yes, we can." "No, you are going to do chemo and then the scan, just to be sure, and then we will do it." "Yes, we can." 'NO. WE CAN'T" with the look like I am his little girl and I just stole a cookie. "F-i-n-e." So, that is the good news which some would think is bad, but they don't know the whole story and don't realized that this is frickin' fantastic news! BTW - Hank (my oncologist) gave me the same, "Well, of course, that is what we were doing" like I wasn't paying attention in class and I am like, "You know I have BEEEEEEN here for every appointment. I don't think I woulda let that one slip by." But(t) anyway, so chemo was last week, I did the scan this morning, and I will meet with my surgeon on Thursday morning (1/6) at 9:00am where my life and my rectal lesion's life will be determined. Day surgery.....never thought I would love those words...... Happy Tuesday, Ang


Anonymous said...


You have had soooo much on your plate for the last three years. You are brave and my hero. What a trooper you are accepting all the news and taking it in stride. Keep smiling and moving forward. Nothing can stop you now...hugs and kisses, Pam

Myrna said...

Such a fighter you are! Keep it up!