Friday, January 14, 2011

My life the horror flick

Early Thursday morning - like 3:43am, I woke up, went to the bathroom, washed my hands, and looked in the mirror. There was dried blood all over my shirt. I looked down my shirt and I was bleeding - everywhere. I felt nothing, but knew that my pump was compromised and that bleeding isn't so good when you are on blood thinners. So, I walked into the bedroom, noticed blood on the sheets, and told Grant that we had a problem. Grant took one look at me and and his eyes turned to saucers. Panicked, he started to process what was going on. We called my oncologist and he said to go to the ER and get the pump off. So, I just put on a vest and went. When I showed up, I unzipped the vest and the woman behind the bullet proof glass said something like, "Yeah, we can see you now." Three hours later I was discharged. I had to go back at 9:00, but forgot my shot at home so, went home to go back to get my iron, fluids, and another shot for my white blood cell count. This week has been full of test after test, plus chemo. My arms look like a drug addict. I am feeling a bit better today, but my port access is really sore probably because I pulled a needle out of my body in the middle of the night telling as that is. But here is the best part, Thursday night Greek food sounded good, so Grant picked some up and got home. Here is the bad part. They forgot the tzatziki. You ever had Greek food without tzatziki? Well, it stinks. Okay, the entire day, I rolled with it, I didn't cry, I didn't panic, I didn't freak out, but when there was no tzatziki, I LOST IT. I started crying, and yelling that I was so sick of people prodding me, taking samples, redoing test, being in a hospital, etc. etc. etc. It was pretty brutal. And there is Grant. Exhausted too. He has lived this nightmare with me. Been up all night, y'know the drill. He just got up without a word, kissed me on the top of the head, left, and returned 30 mins later with warm pita bread and tzatziki. I love that man. Next week, I am going to try out for the next Scream movie - I am a shoe in. Loves, Ang


auntie jane said...

Tzatziki!!! What a harrowing experience for both of you. Funny how a little kiss and some warm bread can help ease so much. Such strength you both have. Love Jane

Anonymous said...

I hope that today you are feeling much better. You do amaze me with all the stuff you have gone through, that sense of humor comes forward. Wish that I could just hold you and tell you everything will get better. Hang in there, Pam

Anonymous said...

Love you, honey. And I love Grant, too. He is the world's best husband. (I won't let Jim see this post ;) Your sense of humor is a powerful tool in this battle. So glad that it's intact. Sending lots of love your way. Talk soon,

Anonymous said...

I agree with Pam, we all would like to wrap you both in the cloak of love that heals and preserves. God bless the both of you!
love pat&mag