Saturday, March 21, 2009
Okay, I am finally ready to talk about
the funeral I went to a few weeks ago on Friday the 13th. Normally, you would think, "Oh, not on Friday the 13th....", but it wasn't the case at all. It was perfect. Grant and I were there because it was a co-workers husband, we had known them for YEARS, and he died of a brain tumor. Of course, it was sad. He was young, had two young children that he stayed home with (like me), and he was loved by many, but especially his wife. So, where do I start???? Okay, at the beginning....we got there right at 7:00pm. The service was just about to start. We met up with some other friends and sat down. So, in a nutshell it was beautiful because it was very him. I LOVED the music (and actually kept the program for ideas for mine...I KNOW - REMEMBER I AM A PLANNER!), the service was positive and kind - the Pastor was amazing, and everyone that was there was there because they wanted to be. The "comments" section was handled by presubmittal via email. The Pastor read them in such a powerful and positive way - it was amazing. No tears, no blubbering people in front of a microphone, no waiting for people to come up and speak - I loved it. Note to self. I hugged his wife before the ceremony and said, "Just get through tonight and tomorrow will be better. You can do this." She nodded. I was going to be strong for this - I was going to take care of her. Well, that all went to heck when I went up for the blessing. She was coming back with her two adorable girls and I had a tear in my eye. She hugged me and asked, "How you holding up?" I was thinking, "Well, besides planning my own funeral, making song selections, and basically stealing your format - FABULOUS!!!!" I just nodded. AND THEN.....I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED, BUT IT DID. I have witnesses. Her two year old gives me a hug because, GET THIS, I was sad. Yep, I am the biggest "taking care loser" ever!!!!! That is when everyone we knew started crying. GREAT. I am hopeless. Head shake in disgust. Anywho, I did make up for it after the service. There was a full reception afterward with wine. I thought, if nothing else, I can get her wine. And I did. I actually made sure that she had a glass the entire evening. At least, I did that well. The reception was actually fun. I saw people that I hadn't seen in forever. We laughed, visited, and no one cried. The kids played and we all ate real food - including strawberry shortcake - note to self!!! When we left it was like 10pm. I got in the car and said, "There is nothin' like a good funeral! I loved that!" Note to self. (Grant hates that by the way, but he doesn't say anything anymore.) So, as for the entire evening, I was contented. We said goodbye well in a beautiful, glorious way. The only piece of advice I would give is if you are going to a funeral, do not take Trader Joe's facial tissue with you. It is not very good at "staying together" and sticks to your face upon getting wet. VERY ATTRACTIVE. In addition, I noticed that I missed a piece under my glasses when we got home. I was thinking, "Great, I spoke and laughed with how many people with tissue stuck to my face. I even met one of Grant's favorite clients at this thing - PERFECT." When I mentioned it to Grant he said, (and I am not kidding), "Oh yeah, I noticed that, but I forgot to tell you." THANKS FOR HAVIN' MY BACK BABE! ;) Love, Ang
Posted by Angela Clarno at 8:51 AM
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Angie, You are couragious and a speaker of truth. It is hard for lots of people to "go there".
A person who leaves a well planned funeral, leaves a precious gift to all who know and love them.
Your blog struck home like a lightening bolt. I've had a big part in planning three funerals when no plans were left behind.
The planning of another's funeral changed the landscape from a pure opportunity to remember, revel in the magnitude of a life well lived and appreciate the feeling of the moment, to concern for timing, logistics and wondering if this is what "they would have wanted".
What your friend did was allow his nearest and dearest to be "there". A great gift.
I'm gonna go plan mine...Is a Conga line too much??? Love Jane
What Jane said. Every word. She is profound and positive and beautiful.
As for your very dear husband and his tissue move (or lack thereof), classic Grant. I had to read it to Jim so we could have a chuckle together.
Love to all the Clarno/Hainsworths!
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