Sunday, March 1, 2009

Living my life and lovin' it

So, for the past week, it almost felt like I didn't have cancer. I had an amazing week. I am not kidding. As always, everyone brought me food, but I cleaned my house by myself. I know....people are yelling at me, but I am really proud of myself and it is good for me to do that because then I know what I am out of!!! The boys were really good, but poor Nolan. He has an ear infection AGAIN. My doctor is really cool, so we are brainstorming how to get him over this and through the next couple months without having to put tubes in. We came up with a plan that will go through May and hopefully it will work. We will see. Mason did the same thing - back to back ear infections and then NOTHING. With Nolan I don't think I will be so lucky, so we are adding an allergy medicine because he is my drippy kid - always with the runny nose. My dear Nolan, he will get a lot of first dates, but not too many seconds. Kinda like his Father. It took me who dated a lot before I met Grant to appreciate his completely unromantic view of life. For some reason, I saw past all of that and saw his heart. Hopefully, someday some brilliant woman will see Mason's. Yeah, I know I didn't say Nolan. There really isn't any hope for him. With any luck, he will be mine for all time. Mason will be married and, if she is smart, adored. So, life has been good. I even forgot a couple times that I was sick. Mason this morning said, "Mommy are you better?" I said, "Yes and no." Then, I explained that I have to go back to the doctor and will be sick again, but the medicine is making me better. He then asked, "Are you dying?" I said, "I don't know, but if I do, there are lots of people that will take care of you." And, without missing a beat, he said, "Okay." I am glad he can talk to me about it. I know he doesn't "get it", but he will and someday he will remember us talking about it and, hopefully, if I am not here, he will take comfort in it. I am not ready to talk about my friend's funeral, because I am too into planning my own. Now, before you freak out, remember this means that it was a good service and also remember that I am a planner, so it is in my nature to have it all worked out before such an event. Plus, it would totally tick me off if it wasn't "just so." smile. I will close with a story......"My lung biopsy" This story was promised a long time ago and I never got around to it. So, here goes..... My second lung biopsy was last summer to confirm what we thought happened - the cancer came back. I remember my oncologist saying, "We are just making sure it is cancer." I looked at him like, "Do I look stupid????" He relented and said, "It is probably cancer." Ya think?!?!?! Anyhoo....when I went up for my biopsy, I was being treated by all the people that biopsied me the first time. They were glad, and sad, to see me again. Glad to see that I am doing well. Sad to think that it had come back. The doctor that called me Grace Kelly (which I take as a compliment), walked in, saw me and said, "Grace? What are you doing back here???? Are you okay????" I explained and he said, "Okay, well one more time, and then we are done with this!" My biopsy was done by the same doc that put my port in. He is REALLY TALL. I mean REALLY REALLY TALL. So, he comes in and explains what they are going to do, and disappears saying that he wants to ask my oncologist one last thing. Exit stage left. Then, the transport nurse takes me back. The scan tech meets us and the nurse that will be monitoring me follows. We meet the lab technician there that will take my biopsy and test it. Yeah, it is a crap load of people. So, we get in the room and there is some confusion about whether I should be face down or on my side. One was told face down; the other was told on my side. So, they were discussing it and length and I said, "Why are you so concerned? Let's just pick one and we can change it." The scan tech said, "I don't want to look stupid." laughing as he said it. I said, "Well, then, what is most logical?" He said, "On your stomach." I said, "Okay, let's go with it!" So, on my stomach I went. In comes the doc and he said, "I need her on her back!" Remember this wasn't the option that either the transport nurse or the tech originally got orders to do from the same doc. Guess what? EVERYBODY LOOKED STUPID. So, on my back I went. All the lines needed to be adjusted, my gown was not cooperating in the transition and they (the MALE scan tech and the MALE transport nurse) were saying to the FEMALE nurse, "Cover her up! Cover her!" I just rolled my eyes and explained, "I have rectal cancer dudes and, let's see, most people in this place have seen my butt, but I'm good." They started laughing so hard they were crying. So, they get me all arranged and not two minutes later the MALE scan tech starts to explain to me that based on where the biopsy is they are going to probably have to expose......guess BOOB. I looked at him and said, "Did you miss the butt conversation? I thougth you were here, but maybe I was mistaken." He just looked at me like he had never seen anyone quite like me and said, "I have to say this, so let me, and don't make me laugh." I was like, "Fine, but you guys are giving me the drugs to make me disclose all this stuff, so it is really your fault." They all pause......pause....looking at each other....look at me.....and then the female nurse says, "Yeah, that is the thing. We haven't given you anything yet." Oh, well then. OPPS. I breathe in, exhale, and say, "Well, then it should be a real hoot when you do!" and they all fall out laughing again . Maybe it is my roll in life to make them laugh. I am not sure. But I seem to have made an impression on the 4th floor - and I think it is a good one. Off to dry my boys from their bath. Happy week, love, Ang


Anonymous said...

Awesome story! I love that you were unmedicated for all that. Perfect!

Two minor corrections:
#1. I'm pretty sure that when Mark was trying to set you up, you were adamant that Grant wasn't for you (since he was an engineer) so he clearly DID win you over with his smooth manly ways.

#2. If there are women in the world to love men like Grant and Mark, I'm pretty sure that there is an awesome and amazing woman in Nolan's future. Assuming he gets the runny nose under control, that is.

Anonymous said...

Of course you realize... now that you said that Nolan will never get married, he will have 58 girlfriends from pre-school on and be married before he graduates from Middle School. Poor Mason has now been resigned, by your published statement, to a life of video games, "Star Wars" enthusiasm, Trekydom, bachelorhood, and/or the monastery. Sorry, it's just the way of Mom Predicts- Reversoworld. Most moms of a certain age have experienced it's affects at one time or another.

Your account of the biopsy is hilarious. You bring such sunshine with your sense of humor and super quick wit. This was truly a "which way is up?", situation.'ve always been the best at knowing which way is UP! Your the best! Proud to know you! Jane

Anonymous said...

HI Ang,
You must write forever. Any topic, every topic! I love your writing. How can you make me laugh and cry all in one? You are on "my Favorites" so every night while dinking on the computer before bed I click on "you" and get excited with a new post to read. Have you thought about writing a book or three? You are awesome.
Love, Vivian