Monday, September 1, 2008

So, I got my ipod charged up

in anticipation for this whole thing - did you know that it has games on it??? Yeah, I know, I am leaping into 2004. Anyhoo, I have had some time to calm down, reflect, get pissed, turn the page, and get focused. The process has gone extremely easily for me. Maturity??? No. Age??? No. Experience???? No. Bowing down to the cancer, accepting that this in my destiny, looking at the evil beast again, and saying, "Fine. Game on you insignificant tool." So, back to the ipod.....I came across the song, "I like big butts...." which is good, because my butt is not currently fitting in my jeans. Apparently, you can eat that much ice cream in that short of time. I think of the saying, "A second on the lips, forever on the hips." Yep, not for me, approximately 1 week, 19 hours, and 42 mins. Funny story....when I went in for my follow up CT scan, they gave me the choice of three flavors of barium contrast for me to drink. I said, "I don't do barium. It should be in my chart. I use the yummy yummy juice. Thanks." She said, "Oh, yes, here it is, we don't use the juice anymore, so you will have to do the barium. Which would you like?" I said politely, "None." She said, in the nicest way she could, "I don't know what to do." I said, "I will take vanilla, but you should let me drink it in one of the rooms, because you probably don't want me puking in the lobby." She complied and took me back. When I saw the tech, the only one I don't know in the clinic, I said, "Y'know I am going to push back on this a bit and ask why I can't do the juice." This poor girl said, "I am not really sure, but we got rid of the other stuff." I told her that I was usually sick for 15 hours after drinking that stuff and, since becoming a cancer patient, I don't give up 15 hours easily. And, then, the tears came. I am not sure why. I could have powered through it, but I wasn't prepared for barium, for being sick. I was scared of what the test would show. I was sick to my stomach barium???? Pause. And that is when everyone started moving. She was like, "I will check with the docs", the techs I do know came in the room saying,"we will work something out", "we just got rid of it yesterday", "can't we get any from the hospital CT lab?", "she really does get sick", "ask the docs", and, then, silence. I wiped my tears and waited in the back room. The response came from the docs who I have never seen or heard. I am thinking they are similar to the Great Wizard of Oz. The response was, "We will allow the blankity blank contrast this time, but you need to prepare yourself for next time." As the tech told me, I was thinking, "Is that a quote????" She was looking at me like, "Please don't shoot the messenger." I said, "Fine, I will have my discussion with Hank." They walked all the way over to the hospital and got me my juice, I drank it, took the pictures, and was out of there. I kept asking why I could not use the juice. My final understanding was simply "the docs like barium better". I was thinking, "Then they can drink it." So, the man behind the screen that I am not allowed to talk to or hear, doesn't like it...F-I-N-E. Here is the funny part....when I talked to my oncologist, I explained everything and said, "Is there really a difference for them?? Why have I been allowed to use the juice if it doesn't work???" When I was told that he would speak to them and to consider it taken care of, I replied with, "Y'know Hank, I don't think they got the memo that they really love me and will do anything I say because, after all, I am Princess Grace." (A lung biopsy doc when I was first diagnosed called me Grace Kelly and the name stuck for a while....) My oncologist replied with, "I will check the distribution list and make sure they get a copy." GRIN. As a follow up, when I went in for my lung biopsy a week later, I had a different doctor than the first time, BUT the "Grace Kelly" doctor past by me, stopped, looked at me, and said, "Grace Kelly is back!" I guess the memo got redistributied....hehehe Happy Labor Day, Ang


Anonymous said...

Congratulations for holding firm.
During one of my post surgical recovery bouts I woke up during the night and asked the nurse for some pain medication but I did not want the powerful intravenous dose that my Doctor had authorized instead I asked for a lighter oral version of the same stuff. She refused, it was either the big dose written on the chart or nothing. I tried to argue that I was making progress and did not need to spend more time in la-la
land. No argument was persuasive and so I said no. Before we stopped talking to each other I asked her if she had heard the comedian Mort Sahl's skit about mock interviews with different professional people, she said no so I told her my favorite Sahl story where Mort as the interviewer asks:
"Tell me Warden, what makes a man devote 35 years of his life to Prison work?" The Warden answers
"I guess I just like people". If those nurses could look outside themselves and see how insensitive their behavior was, so contrary to the first law of the Hippocratic oath: "First do no harm", causing you to cry is doing harm. As for mocking you by calling you Grace Kelly pisses me off. The implication that you are some kind of prima donna is unprofessional and offensive. The clinic probably has those little forms where patients can give feedback to the hospital, get one and reccomend remedial classes in "Patient Care" for those who are so insensitive, and don't forget to give their names. We follow your journey with devotion and concern. Love always

Anonymous said...

you go, Ang!

just ask Nolan, I bet he will confirm: juice is yummy!

Anonymous said...


Keep getting what you need to feel good and get healthy!!!!

Unknown said...

Angie - One thing John and I have learned is to hold firm. If there is no difference and the "juice" works, than screw the man behind the curtain unless he wants to hold your hair back while you puke on his shoes!


Anonymous said...

Hey Angie,

The only time that I ever had Braium was when I was 10. I ended up puking on the fr@#$ng x-ray machine! They did not give me barium after that. Ha! Try that next time!

Jeff Westerlund

Anonymous said...

Hi Ang! I am sorry that you have to battle the cancer again, but I am glad that you had a fun summer with the boys. Hopefully that will give you the strength to push through and look forward to coming out the other side to enjoy the fun stuff again. I will be keeping you in my thoughts! Love, Maria