Friday, October 19, 2007

Emotional Day

If you remember, today was the day I met with the radiation oncologist and the surgeon for them to examine me and discuss next options before they discuss it amongst themselves. Well, as I suspected, the radiation oncologist believes that radiation is a good option to do especially since there is so little left in my rectal area. The surgeon wants to cut and do a complete removal because that is the safest course of action. Surgery would leave me with a colostomy meaning I would poop in a bag for the rest of my life. This doesn't always happen with colon rectal cancer. I am just one of the lucky ones that has the tumor location such that I have no option if surgery is the choice. Now, before you feel sorry for me, don't. Pooping in a bag is no big deal and if that is the trade off for being a wife, mother, daughter, niece, and friend, for a few more years, I will gladly do it. Plus, road trips would be a snap!!!!!! ;) Both of the meetings were very positive. In fact, the surgeon said, "What do you mean you haven't been doing radiation?! You mean you have done this well and come this far with only chemo?" When I responded, "Well, yeah." He sat back a bit dumbfounded and said, "Then I am not sure what to tell you - I have never seen anyone do that." So, I am now not a medical miracle, but a medical oddity because I am going apparently, "too fast". What part of, "I will be the next patient you talk about" didn't they get when I started the cancer roller coaster?!?!?!??! So, now, because of my oddness, I have qualified to be reviewed in front of the "tumor board" which I am told is the best of the best. They will choose my fate. As for me, I am trying not to focus on the poop bag or the surgeries, but on the simple change of life expectancy. Now, they refer to years, not months, but years. They now look at me and say things like if you can do chemo this well, radiation will be nothing. They share survivor stories with me about how they don't know how a person is still around, but they are and there is usually one......and I think, "There has to be one. It might as well be me." Have a great weekend. Love, Ang


Anonymous said...

Pity on those people who don't know you, Angie Clarno. Your medical team may be scratching their heads, but only because they haven't known you long enough to see what you're made of. Congratulations on reaching this point, lady. You've given this fight everything you had, and you've come out on top. You're amazing--but we already knew that.

Vivian Kerr said...

Hi Angie,
Once again such powerful words you write.
You have a fantastic attitude.
Have a great weekend.

Love, Vivian

Anonymous said...

It is nice to know people who are unique, trend setters, people you point to with pride and say "I know that lady, I knew her before she was famous and various parts of her anatomy were pictured in those prestigious Medical Publications". Keep strong Angela, as you said it is a marathon not a sprint. Love to you, all your supporters and to your family. pat&mag

Sarah S said...

It's not a surprise doctors are wondering who you are. Keep it up. You are strong!
Love ya Ang, Sarah S

Pam Kerr Blakeslee said...


You brought tears to my eyes this morning reading about your news. I am cheering you on from the sidelines just like your mom and I use to when you played soccer with the Tic Tacs.

Your wonderful attitude will carry you through this, Pam

Unknown said...

Angie, I know what I want for Christmas, the good news you just got. I don't need anything else for the rest of year. Thank you so much for allowing me to be part of your life and love and soaring spirit. You really do give back more than I could ever give. We love you. Elaine

Anonymous said...

if i wasn't so anti-cheerleader, I'd do a little cheer for you.

In, fact, I think i'll do it anyway. That's how happy I am.

(Ready? OK!)

Gimmie an S!
Gimmie an U!
Gimmie an R!
Gimmie an V!
Gimmie an I!
Gimmie an V!
Gimmie an O!
Gimmie an R!

what's that spell? Angie!

Anonymous said...

as an aside:

Who names their girls' soccer team the Tic-Tacs. We were named after breath mints?!?!?!

Oh, and I was doing little motions in my cube when I did the cheer, and I was AWESOME. =)

Mary Benham said...

Hi Angie,
I haven't seen you since High School (those volleyball days!:), but I have been following your blog since the near beginning. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Your positive energy is self-evident in your results! Way to go! When I saw you had Dr. Kaplan involved from the get go, I knew you were in good hands! (I work at Swedish and always admired him!) You have undoubtedly touched so many people you don't even know! I have passed on your site to others newly diagnosed for inspiration and "tips". Reading your postings when I think I'm having a "bad day" puts things in perspective and makes me hug our kiddos extra hard! Thank you for so eloquently sharing your honesty, courage, and sense of humor through this journey! Stay Strong!
Love, Mary Benham (Wang)
P.S. Scott says "Hi" and is wishing you all the best too!

Anonymous said...

Does that mean they kicked the soccer ball with their Tic Tac Toes?