Since my last post, it has been a bit of a nightmare. It ended well (so for those of you that chastise me....it ended well...lol).
Last Sunday during the Broncos game Nolan got a fever and he was complaining of back knee pain. I let is go for most of the day watching his fever, but got a scare from a long time ago about hamstring pain and fever. CANCER. The weekend clinic was open until 3:30. It was 2:50. Grant, you can lift him. Here are is medical cards....go. I finished the game with Mason. We finished in the street with all the Bronco fans in the neighborhood and then Nolan and Grant came home. Sprain on the knee. Fever, well, a fever. WHEW. Monday, both kids were home. Mason was totally congested, Nolan knee and fever. We watched the STAR WARS and the boys were like, "Why do they always jump when they die?!?!" "Boys, it was 1977. Those WERE the special effects!" Tuesday, Mason goes to school. Nolan still down for the count and sleeping with me so I can ice pack him down from 103 to 102.5. Wednesday, no school. Nolan's fever breaks on the 36th hour at 102.5 but Grandma is now sick and we can't do their mail (or go down to play x-box). Thursday, everyone is back to school, but contractors need me for countertops. I miss Bible Study. I am not good when I miss Bible Study. (FYI - my contractors said, "Please go on your Monday walk." Translation, "We will take care of Nolan and Mason. You are a freak show when you do not get your exercise and no one needs that.") Yes, my contractors now care for my children and they are probably better at it!!! I think the same will soon happen with Bible Study. I understand this is NOT a compliment, but I do want to let you know that is just how good my contractors are...... Friday is pretty normal. PTA, life, my papa (calling me at all the wrong times - but at least he is calling me and believing me), and my body. I say my body because it is "handling" all this. I get up, get my kids to school, answer contractor questions, go to the grocery store for the one item I am missing for my camping meal, pick up the kids, try and keep my PTA, Council PTA, my family and my extended family happy, but it does not always work. I think this is normal life, but I am conflicted to believe it.
Grant and I took the boys to our favorite local restaurant this weekend. Everyone had a great time EXCEPT for Nolan. He claims he was tired and needed to go to sleep. He just wanted pasta. GREAT! It is an Italian restaurant! It went on and on, but the cru de gra was on the way home he said (no lie), "There are a lot of things that have happened to me that I just keep to myself because they were hard." I was like, "So, is this like not wanting to be in a restaurant so bad that you put your head on the table and said you needed to go to sleep?!?!" "Oh no, that was different." he said. I said, "Well, suck it up next time we spend $100 on dinner and I will believe you...."
Yes, I am a horrible parent, but seriously?!?!?! Yes, I should probe into those statements, but it you know me, I ALREADY did. Nolan is my challenge and most days I look at the sky and say, "Pregnant (which I would have never compromised him), terminal cancer (which doctors would have wanted to take him early or terminated him), and terminal cancer AND him. SERIOUSLY.
They say that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. I plan to argue that VERY SERIOUSLY one day. Good news....today is not the day.
Happy week, Ang
Sunday, January 31, 2016
Sunday, January 24, 2016
People say to me regularly, "I don't not know how you do it....." Well, I don't.....
Okay, yes, my life it "different" than others. My "activities" are, well, "sometimes more intense.", but life is not easier for me than anyone else. Let me explain.....
So, life continues on. With cancer, without. And then with kitchen flooding and a Alzheimer's diagnosis. It does not care if you have been burdened, infertililty, have cancer - you know the terminal kind or really anything. So, here I am.
I manage a terminal disease of Stage Four Colorectal Cancer that I get to have four surgeries for of late ( two down, two to go) and then, as you know, my kitchen flooded, and my Father was officially diagnosis with Alzheimer's. Yeah, it is bad.....
So, here is the deal. We do not tell him. It just makes him sad. We tell him that he has trouble with his memory. He remembers things in bits and we are so happy when he does. However, my mother, as of September, had not paid a bill in her life. There is a learning curve. The only one he trusts is me - and that is limited. He wants me to balance the checkbook - are you kidding?!?!?! So, I have introduced him to online banking. Not that he can log on and check, but to how it works. He is pretty good, but always asking questions. Seriously?!?!? The checks clear so fast. He is amazed.
In any case, my Mom and I have it handled. Accounts, bills, etc. I meet with them every week. We do the bills, things are paid, and, well, everyone is fed and watered. We just wait for the next debacle....
On another note....everyone in my world is always amazed at how I "handle everything". Well, first, I have no choice. Second, I have a lot of support from family, friends, etc. And, third, well, I just don't. At school, we have a new Principal. She is truly lovely. As PTA President in her last year, things have been different, but not as you would unexpect from a change. I have been saved from some things and thrown into others, but it is all good, as all experiences are. So, as I am wrestling up the last Student Leadership Meeting on Thursday where somehow we have almost 10% of all the students in an over populated school there because we did not want to be unexclusive, I started to get a migraine headache. I turned to my co-volunteer and said, "I cannot talk I am starting to get a migraine." No one noticed. Not even the teachers that talked to me on the way out to the car. I was escorted home by volunteers because my bigness concern was that none of the students know.
So, no, you can't do everything and I can't either. I would have been fine if my kitchen had not flooded and if my Father did not call me every other day because he is afraid. But, I am going to finish my promise and I am going to answer my phone and I am going to get the kitchen that, quite honestly, I want. Funny thing is, I am in a Bible Study right about boundaries, and making space, and making space for Sabbath. Odd how things happen.....
Next year....well, next year is already planned. I will do the Treasurer position of Neely and for Kent Area Council if they will have me, but nothing else. Happy to volunteer, but not to lead. I have done that enough and I need to take care of my own again. I loved my work at the school, but it has become too much and I need to balance. My tour of duty of three years is over as of June. I will be happy in my limited, yet still engaged role.
Happy Sunday,
Ang
So, life continues on. With cancer, without. And then with kitchen flooding and a Alzheimer's diagnosis. It does not care if you have been burdened, infertililty, have cancer - you know the terminal kind or really anything. So, here I am.
I manage a terminal disease of Stage Four Colorectal Cancer that I get to have four surgeries for of late ( two down, two to go) and then, as you know, my kitchen flooded, and my Father was officially diagnosis with Alzheimer's. Yeah, it is bad.....
So, here is the deal. We do not tell him. It just makes him sad. We tell him that he has trouble with his memory. He remembers things in bits and we are so happy when he does. However, my mother, as of September, had not paid a bill in her life. There is a learning curve. The only one he trusts is me - and that is limited. He wants me to balance the checkbook - are you kidding?!?!?! So, I have introduced him to online banking. Not that he can log on and check, but to how it works. He is pretty good, but always asking questions. Seriously?!?!? The checks clear so fast. He is amazed.
In any case, my Mom and I have it handled. Accounts, bills, etc. I meet with them every week. We do the bills, things are paid, and, well, everyone is fed and watered. We just wait for the next debacle....
On another note....everyone in my world is always amazed at how I "handle everything". Well, first, I have no choice. Second, I have a lot of support from family, friends, etc. And, third, well, I just don't. At school, we have a new Principal. She is truly lovely. As PTA President in her last year, things have been different, but not as you would unexpect from a change. I have been saved from some things and thrown into others, but it is all good, as all experiences are. So, as I am wrestling up the last Student Leadership Meeting on Thursday where somehow we have almost 10% of all the students in an over populated school there because we did not want to be unexclusive, I started to get a migraine headache. I turned to my co-volunteer and said, "I cannot talk I am starting to get a migraine." No one noticed. Not even the teachers that talked to me on the way out to the car. I was escorted home by volunteers because my bigness concern was that none of the students know.
So, no, you can't do everything and I can't either. I would have been fine if my kitchen had not flooded and if my Father did not call me every other day because he is afraid. But, I am going to finish my promise and I am going to answer my phone and I am going to get the kitchen that, quite honestly, I want. Funny thing is, I am in a Bible Study right about boundaries, and making space, and making space for Sabbath. Odd how things happen.....
Next year....well, next year is already planned. I will do the Treasurer position of Neely and for Kent Area Council if they will have me, but nothing else. Happy to volunteer, but not to lead. I have done that enough and I need to take care of my own again. I loved my work at the school, but it has become too much and I need to balance. My tour of duty of three years is over as of June. I will be happy in my limited, yet still engaged role.
Happy Sunday,
Ang
Sunday, January 17, 2016
2016 started out with a bang....
So, as the story goes, things were going well, right?!?! Good scans....good kids....good business...and then BAM! Kitchen flood. Okay, so that is it. One would think. But it never is. A long, long time ago, I wanting to do a loft over then living room. There was a contractor that had done a couple. I was like, "Let's do it!" We were half way through an upgrade to our kitchen at the time. (If I am repeating myself.....move on...you have better things to do...) I thought it would be one price and, well, this contractor was like WAY more than that. Funny thing is that he said, "Well, I can't do it for that, but what is going on in your kitchen?!?!?!" Apparently, he did not like the white floor with the black granite tops and the stainless steel appliances with yellow paint. I explained that we were stuck on flooring and I was back in chemo and I did not know what to do. It was just flooring and painting and the bathroom that I had all the stuff for, but no one to install it to finish it. He said, "Well, why don't I fix this (meaning my horrible kitchen) and then we can see if we like each other and then we can talk about the loft. I told him, "Okay, but it would have to be done in six days." He replied, with, "Okay." And he did. I went to chemo. I stayed at my parents after. It sucked, but chemo sucks, but then I got to come home to my kitchen. DONE. Like he said six days and I cried. My kitchen was beautiful. Better than I had ever thought I would see it.....but that was years ago......so fast forward......
So, as most of you know, our kitchen flooded. It was not a pipe but the hot water intake tube to the dishwasher. Who knew that could do that much damage?!?!?! The insurance gives us all the money we claim....WHAT?!?!?! Our contractor is stunned that never happens. Well, it did. On January 11th, we go into the remodel we realize that the plumbing is crap. Contractor approaches us....mind you he shattered the first pipe. I love him, but WHA?!?!?!? So now, here we are.....the pipes in our house suck. They shattered on minimum impact. $10000 later and holes in all or of walls, we are clear of all the bad pipes. Poor guys. No really poor guys, while they are telling me all the horrible stories of these pipes and then one guys has to take his roommate to the hospital for surgery and then another guy doesn't show up (this is why you get a GENERAL CONTRACTOR), I announce on Thursday afternoon that I am going to the hospital for my second out of four surgeries for my esophagus that I will be loopy on Friday, but Grant is able to handle all the questions. Remember, I was suppose to have the entire house (outside the kitchen) to myself, but because of plumbing delays and disasters, I now have holes all over my house and then plan on sheet rocking in my Master bath on Friday. They all look at me like I have six heads. I said, "Don't worry. The boys will come home. They will ask you where the water is available today, they will do there homework and then Grant will be home at 4:00. They are not allowed to bother you or use you for parenting. They are used to the drill." And it all happened that way. They were all very sweet on Friday. Not bothering me, only having my main contact come up and ask me questions. I certainly did not dress up for them - pjs and my hair in a bun. "I am sorry you have to go to the hospital...." I reply with, "Don't worry, it is kinda my job, I will be back full force next week." And I am.
The procedure which is called a EGD with banding or Esophagogastroduodenoscopy with banding went well. Only one and a half of one this time. Next one will be in March. They put me under general anesthesia cause apparently I was a bit combative the procedure before. I think I was challenging my Grandmother........ I have to keep doing these until they go down there and nothing is there to band.
So between the remodel, cooking in a make shift kitchen in my living room, PTA, and Bible Study I am full up at the inn. Bible Study is SUPER interesting.....it is about observing the Sabbath. Really observing quiet. Oddly, I get this concept. I had it during treatment because I could not do ANYTHING. The quiet brings clarity. It will be interesting as my position of President comes to an end, I am really looking at all the commitments I have made and all the commitments that I am responsible for. I believe that 2016 will be a year of reflection, renewal and change. I need more space to be quiet.....
Here are some pictures from the beginning....we now have all the cupboards out, plumbing in, and sheet rock up.
Happy Sunday,
Ang
So, as most of you know, our kitchen flooded. It was not a pipe but the hot water intake tube to the dishwasher. Who knew that could do that much damage?!?!?! The insurance gives us all the money we claim....WHAT?!?!?! Our contractor is stunned that never happens. Well, it did. On January 11th, we go into the remodel we realize that the plumbing is crap. Contractor approaches us....mind you he shattered the first pipe. I love him, but WHA?!?!?!? So now, here we are.....the pipes in our house suck. They shattered on minimum impact. $10000 later and holes in all or of walls, we are clear of all the bad pipes. Poor guys. No really poor guys, while they are telling me all the horrible stories of these pipes and then one guys has to take his roommate to the hospital for surgery and then another guy doesn't show up (this is why you get a GENERAL CONTRACTOR), I announce on Thursday afternoon that I am going to the hospital for my second out of four surgeries for my esophagus that I will be loopy on Friday, but Grant is able to handle all the questions. Remember, I was suppose to have the entire house (outside the kitchen) to myself, but because of plumbing delays and disasters, I now have holes all over my house and then plan on sheet rocking in my Master bath on Friday. They all look at me like I have six heads. I said, "Don't worry. The boys will come home. They will ask you where the water is available today, they will do there homework and then Grant will be home at 4:00. They are not allowed to bother you or use you for parenting. They are used to the drill." And it all happened that way. They were all very sweet on Friday. Not bothering me, only having my main contact come up and ask me questions. I certainly did not dress up for them - pjs and my hair in a bun. "I am sorry you have to go to the hospital...." I reply with, "Don't worry, it is kinda my job, I will be back full force next week." And I am.
The procedure which is called a EGD with banding or Esophagogastroduodenoscopy with banding went well. Only one and a half of one this time. Next one will be in March. They put me under general anesthesia cause apparently I was a bit combative the procedure before. I think I was challenging my Grandmother........ I have to keep doing these until they go down there and nothing is there to band.
So between the remodel, cooking in a make shift kitchen in my living room, PTA, and Bible Study I am full up at the inn. Bible Study is SUPER interesting.....it is about observing the Sabbath. Really observing quiet. Oddly, I get this concept. I had it during treatment because I could not do ANYTHING. The quiet brings clarity. It will be interesting as my position of President comes to an end, I am really looking at all the commitments I have made and all the commitments that I am responsible for. I believe that 2016 will be a year of reflection, renewal and change. I need more space to be quiet.....
Here are some pictures from the beginning....we now have all the cupboards out, plumbing in, and sheet rock up.
Happy Sunday,
Ang
Friday, December 25, 2015
Merry Christmas!
Hey y'all! Here is my Christmas letter, but please pay most attention to the email that I sent NORAD Santa Tracker on Christmas Eve Night.......here we go!!!!
My boys are 8 and 11. I was diagnosed with Stage Four Cancer colorectal cancer that spread to my lungs when they were 4 mos and 26 mos. The Christmas was 2007 was supposed to be my last. Life became all about staying close to home, yet every year you brought the world to us.
2015 is
over?! Well let’s get to it before it is
2017! We lost my Grandmother, Virginia,
in May, but truth be told she was ready.
Not sure God was... I work with
my parents each week because, well, my Dad is losing his memory and my Mom has
never paid a bill in her life. She is
doing swimmingly with all the finances and, despite my Father’s fear, she is
not spending it all. Aging is hard. When
I met Grant, I said, “I understand if you want to live to and fro, but I have
responsibilities, and they are here.” All of them are coming due. Thank God for my good fortune. Mason is playing goalie for hockey. He is doing well, but it is hard. No matter what is going on with the team…you
still are the goalie. Grant is one of
the bazillion hockey coaches. Nolan is
doing soccer and basketball, but has his eye on touch football. We knew this a long time ago when he took
Mason out at the shins and I shuddered.
OMG – he is a football guy. I am
still over involved in PTA, but that will change as my President office term
has run out. I’m sure I will find
another job – there is always more to do.
Yes, my kitchen
flooded. Yes, Nolan got stiches right
next to his eye. Life happened. But Nolan can see, and my kitchen will be all
that I wanted it to be – EVER. You can’t
want what you wish for, you have to want what is granted.
Best in 2016, Angela,
Grant, Mason, and Nolan
*************************
So thankful for you.....My boys are 8 and 11. I was diagnosed with Stage Four Cancer colorectal cancer that spread to my lungs when they were 4 mos and 26 mos. The Christmas was 2007 was supposed to be my last. Life became all about staying close to home, yet every year you brought the world to us.
We watch EVERY year. Even though my 11 year old knows all there is to know about the ins and outs of Santa, my 8 year old's last words to me before he feel hopelessly asleep tonight was, "Where is Santa?" sleepily. I said, "Iowa...." And as he floated off to sleep, he whispered, "He is close Mommy...."
Over 90 treatments of chemo, bilateral lung surgery, more surgeries to my pelvis than I choose to track, radiation to my pelvis and lungs, several ablations to my lungs, and some other radiation I can't even remember, I am still here and we do NORAD Santa Tracker every year.
Thank you for being some of my greatest memories that I never thought I would see.
Merry Christmas. Better get to bed before Santa gets here (Seattle, WA).
Love,
Angela Clarno
Mason and Nolan's Mom
Merry Christmas.....
Grant, Angie, Mason, and Nolan
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Confessions of a Cancer Survivor
Kitchen remodel, Neely O'Brien PTA, Council PTA, Kent Elementary PTA, Kids, House, bills, parents, basketball, hockey......repeat. Where is there time for cancer? Remember when Hank told me I am a successful story of a person managing a terminal illness? Sometimes, I have no time for it. Kitchen floods, birthday parties, trips, skiing, trips, family, and every once in a while I hide in my house with the cats on the bed watching the Hallmark Channel - Mason and I are LOVING the Christmas movies.
So, I was scheduled for a procedure for my esophagus on the 14th with one doctor - procedure two of three or four. I had a scan on the 15th, so I emailed Hank and said, "Hank, so I have the varices thing on the 14th....can you get what you need from that? So can we do something after the holidays?" Hank's normal response to email is one to three words. "Yes." "Good." "Okay." "See you Tuesday." To this, I got a paragraph all in CAPS about how he needs to monitor my tumors, he is on vacation the week of the 7th and I have to have the scan on the 15th, but then see him the next week, blah blah blah. Okay, first my tumors are not the size of my head - which would allow for CAPS to be used and I was thinking, "Do I manage and illness or Hank?!?!" I responded with, "Okay, okay already - stop yelling at me." I emailed him the schedule of my scan, but the ladies up front would not move my appointment to the week of Christmas...."You have kids - enjoy your time. His caps lock is on. Do not worry." LOL. And I emailed him the ladies response too. I got back, "Okay." Back to normal. Managing Hank, check. Esophagus doctor moved to January. TUMORS STILL NOT AS BIG AS MY HEAD. La la la, I go on with MY life.....kitchen remodel, Neely O'Brien PTA, Council PTA, Kent Elementary PTA, Kids, House, bills, parents, basketball, hockey......repeat. I think I am fine. The week of my scan comes. I think I am fine. I yelled at Nolan - oh, he deserved it but not with the extra bite it had. I sleep like crap, I watch Hallmark Christmas movie which just remind me of all the Christmases in Chemo, or radiation. I could hardly move and I certainly wasn't teaching a boy the day before the difference between a travel and a double dribble. I do not cry, but I am not right. I want to ask for help, but seriously, this is just a check up. Help for what?!?! My head? I am supposed to give my worry to God, but does God know which shoes are for basketball, dress up, school, and the river? I haven't been able to make it to Bible Study. I actually need Bible Study. Sometimes I think God make me busy to show me how much I need him. My kids are so immune yet sensitive. When I drop them at school and say, "Have a good day!", they reply with, "Have a good scan!" Seriously, who does that?!?! What I have accepted is that the anxiety will NEVER go away. I will always be a wreck which means I am not strong like I thought I was. I have a weakness and that weakness is not getting more. I, like many Americans, want it all. I want to see my kids grow up, see them graduate, see them marry, see my, if I am so lucky, grandchildren that I was spoil and love and follow around like hungry cat. They can do no wrong and they do not even exist yet. I want to smell behind their ears and rock them till they fall asleep. I want it all and every scan threatens that.
Today was my scan and then I talked with the contractor and then I was helping Kent Elementary with their Winter Party. I screwed stuff up, but of course corrected it because people are kind and forgiving. Lucky for me.... I stayed the entire time of the party, cleaned up, and then asked to leave to say goodnight to my kids. Of course, it was granted. More to do tomorrow, but that is tomorrow. I come home to a pile of dishes (not because Grant will not do them - I told him not to - he has had a rough schedule), wash them, curse my kitchen flooding, got the boys to bed, and then sat down to watch something before bed. I noticed the phone blinking. HANK. I check the messages. "So, dear, your scan is stable - we are doing well. See ya tomorrow." And then the tears come as they are right now.....I will see him tomorrow, but he knows my anxiety and calls when he can. Three more month of MORE.
Merry Christmas.....
Happy Tuesday, Ang
So, I was scheduled for a procedure for my esophagus on the 14th with one doctor - procedure two of three or four. I had a scan on the 15th, so I emailed Hank and said, "Hank, so I have the varices thing on the 14th....can you get what you need from that? So can we do something after the holidays?" Hank's normal response to email is one to three words. "Yes." "Good." "Okay." "See you Tuesday." To this, I got a paragraph all in CAPS about how he needs to monitor my tumors, he is on vacation the week of the 7th and I have to have the scan on the 15th, but then see him the next week, blah blah blah. Okay, first my tumors are not the size of my head - which would allow for CAPS to be used and I was thinking, "Do I manage and illness or Hank?!?!" I responded with, "Okay, okay already - stop yelling at me." I emailed him the schedule of my scan, but the ladies up front would not move my appointment to the week of Christmas...."You have kids - enjoy your time. His caps lock is on. Do not worry." LOL. And I emailed him the ladies response too. I got back, "Okay." Back to normal. Managing Hank, check. Esophagus doctor moved to January. TUMORS STILL NOT AS BIG AS MY HEAD. La la la, I go on with MY life.....kitchen remodel, Neely O'Brien PTA, Council PTA, Kent Elementary PTA, Kids, House, bills, parents, basketball, hockey......repeat. I think I am fine. The week of my scan comes. I think I am fine. I yelled at Nolan - oh, he deserved it but not with the extra bite it had. I sleep like crap, I watch Hallmark Christmas movie which just remind me of all the Christmases in Chemo, or radiation. I could hardly move and I certainly wasn't teaching a boy the day before the difference between a travel and a double dribble. I do not cry, but I am not right. I want to ask for help, but seriously, this is just a check up. Help for what?!?! My head? I am supposed to give my worry to God, but does God know which shoes are for basketball, dress up, school, and the river? I haven't been able to make it to Bible Study. I actually need Bible Study. Sometimes I think God make me busy to show me how much I need him. My kids are so immune yet sensitive. When I drop them at school and say, "Have a good day!", they reply with, "Have a good scan!" Seriously, who does that?!?! What I have accepted is that the anxiety will NEVER go away. I will always be a wreck which means I am not strong like I thought I was. I have a weakness and that weakness is not getting more. I, like many Americans, want it all. I want to see my kids grow up, see them graduate, see them marry, see my, if I am so lucky, grandchildren that I was spoil and love and follow around like hungry cat. They can do no wrong and they do not even exist yet. I want to smell behind their ears and rock them till they fall asleep. I want it all and every scan threatens that.
Today was my scan and then I talked with the contractor and then I was helping Kent Elementary with their Winter Party. I screwed stuff up, but of course corrected it because people are kind and forgiving. Lucky for me.... I stayed the entire time of the party, cleaned up, and then asked to leave to say goodnight to my kids. Of course, it was granted. More to do tomorrow, but that is tomorrow. I come home to a pile of dishes (not because Grant will not do them - I told him not to - he has had a rough schedule), wash them, curse my kitchen flooding, got the boys to bed, and then sat down to watch something before bed. I noticed the phone blinking. HANK. I check the messages. "So, dear, your scan is stable - we are doing well. See ya tomorrow." And then the tears come as they are right now.....I will see him tomorrow, but he knows my anxiety and calls when he can. Three more month of MORE.
Merry Christmas.....
Happy Tuesday, Ang
Monday, November 16, 2015
Things happen in threes, right?!?!?!
A friend of mine who is a chemo nurse firmly believes that all things "difficult" should end or postpone while people are in cancer treatment. Yes, Laura, I am talking about you..... So, things are humming along and I am going on a trip with my Mom and Aunt which we used to do ALL THE TIME, but then I had kids, and then I had cancer, and then....well life just happened. So, week before last, we (my Mom, my Aunt Donna, and I) went on a cruise. It was mainly to see if we could go on a cruise with our male counterparts. Answer, no. But, yes, for me and all the boys. There was tons to do for Grant and the boys and they would LOVE IT. Grant only because the boys and me because I did not have to plan a meal for seven days. I watched the kids on the cruise and they were literally "blissful". Exploring, experiencing, ordering amazing food, and loving it. The room we had was unbelievable. We had a huge balcony and I opened the door to hear the water all night. One night things were rocking' and rolling' and I loved and respected it. It was amazing. I gained amazing respect for the cruising industry.
So, I have a calling plan of 100 minutes each month to Canada and Mexico. Clearly, we purchased this for Canada, but when we went on the trip I was all, "Yahoo! I have cell phone service!" Reality, questionable at best.
During my trip, our kitchen flooded. Not a little, but a lot, like, mold in your walls, dry wall gone, flooring gone, cabinets gone, flooding.
Grant's first text to me was, "Kitchen is doing well after the flooding, Nolan's face is healing well."
Wha?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Nolan's FACE?!?!?!?!?! Word to the wise, photos are data and when you go to Mexico, you do not get data....... so the email with pictures of Nolan's stiches did not come through, but the one with "Nolan's face is healing well." did. I WAS A FREAK SHOW! I called and called and called.....finally I got through. It was minor, by his eye, but okay. I, of course, had half of his face missing and one ear gone. So, WHEW!
Then Grant told me about the kitchen.......he told me to have a good time.......I did.....but I started buying tequila.....you know, the good stuff.....
I got home to a mess of a kitchen. No floor, no drywall from two feet down, no bottom cabinets, really half a kitchen.....And then lift set in....PTA, hearing testing, WE applications, bills, reimbursements, life......
Bless his heart, Grant helped me today with moving the spent cabinets in the garage and moving the food in. Technically, we can get reimbursed for all the dining out based on the fact that this is our kitchen. That is great, but I cannot eat out that much. So, this weekend, we moved everything around and I have found all the big stuff outside of my baking sheets......seriously, how hard are those to find in a mound of boxes!?!?!?!?!
Needless to say, I have been beyond busy. If I have missed your email, forgive me. If I owe you a phone call forgive me. All I do is insurance, contractors, picking cabinets, sinks, hardware, We have to get new blinds, redo the kitchen table, restain everything. This in addition to my life that is too busy and my new years resolution is to well, stop saying yes. Friday all the volunteers got sick for the Hearing and Vision Tests at school. I got there and we were an hour behind. The nurse was nervous we would not get it all done in that day and I was like, "I am here, I will stay, but we WILL FINISH today." We caught up by 12:20 and we finished early. 550 kids through vision an hearing from 9:30 to 1:20. BOOM. Sometimes you just have to get 'r done - no excuses. Maybe I should do motivational speaking with the Seahawks......
I have today without any contractors, insurance, etc. just me and by boys. It starts up all over again tomorrow!
Happy Monday, Ang
I have tried to upload the pictures, but have been unsuccessful. Just imagine my kitchen with no drywall, floor, no bottom cabinets but the countertops are up with lean tos.........
So, I have a calling plan of 100 minutes each month to Canada and Mexico. Clearly, we purchased this for Canada, but when we went on the trip I was all, "Yahoo! I have cell phone service!" Reality, questionable at best.
During my trip, our kitchen flooded. Not a little, but a lot, like, mold in your walls, dry wall gone, flooring gone, cabinets gone, flooding.
Grant's first text to me was, "Kitchen is doing well after the flooding, Nolan's face is healing well."
Wha?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Nolan's FACE?!?!?!?!?! Word to the wise, photos are data and when you go to Mexico, you do not get data....... so the email with pictures of Nolan's stiches did not come through, but the one with "Nolan's face is healing well." did. I WAS A FREAK SHOW! I called and called and called.....finally I got through. It was minor, by his eye, but okay. I, of course, had half of his face missing and one ear gone. So, WHEW!
Then Grant told me about the kitchen.......he told me to have a good time.......I did.....but I started buying tequila.....you know, the good stuff.....
I got home to a mess of a kitchen. No floor, no drywall from two feet down, no bottom cabinets, really half a kitchen.....And then lift set in....PTA, hearing testing, WE applications, bills, reimbursements, life......
Bless his heart, Grant helped me today with moving the spent cabinets in the garage and moving the food in. Technically, we can get reimbursed for all the dining out based on the fact that this is our kitchen. That is great, but I cannot eat out that much. So, this weekend, we moved everything around and I have found all the big stuff outside of my baking sheets......seriously, how hard are those to find in a mound of boxes!?!?!?!?!
Needless to say, I have been beyond busy. If I have missed your email, forgive me. If I owe you a phone call forgive me. All I do is insurance, contractors, picking cabinets, sinks, hardware, We have to get new blinds, redo the kitchen table, restain everything. This in addition to my life that is too busy and my new years resolution is to well, stop saying yes. Friday all the volunteers got sick for the Hearing and Vision Tests at school. I got there and we were an hour behind. The nurse was nervous we would not get it all done in that day and I was like, "I am here, I will stay, but we WILL FINISH today." We caught up by 12:20 and we finished early. 550 kids through vision an hearing from 9:30 to 1:20. BOOM. Sometimes you just have to get 'r done - no excuses. Maybe I should do motivational speaking with the Seahawks......
I have today without any contractors, insurance, etc. just me and by boys. It starts up all over again tomorrow!
Happy Monday, Ang
I have tried to upload the pictures, but have been unsuccessful. Just imagine my kitchen with no drywall, floor, no bottom cabinets but the countertops are up with lean tos.........
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
I may have underestimated this procedure.....ya think?!?!
So, yesterday, I was busy. I got caught up on paperwork all day. Mine, Neely's, PTA Councils until I had to get ready for my procedure. I was not worried. I was like go in, come out and back to life. Well, not exactly.....
So, everything went well, I woke up after the procedure, got dressed, vaguely remember them telling me it went well - banded two medium and one large. No complications. The nurse told me again, no drinking, no signing documents, just an easy night at home. Oh, and eating may be hard but just for a couple days. Soft mushy food would be best. (I made Beef Stew in the Crockpot. Bad choice.)
We get to the car and I think I owe my Mom a million dollars because I think she paid for parking and my trip through McDonalds. I never go to McDonalds, but I wanted a milkshake and fries. The milkshake was DELICIOUS. Like better than anything I had ever had in my life. AMAZING. Better than people, money, God, anything. Clearly, a lot of drugs were involved.
Get home, and my milkshake was gone. I was so sad. Like super, super sad. Like I wanted to cry sad. The French fires hurt going down - first sign that had been delusional about this procedure.
I am now just tired. I say good night to the boys. I wake up in the night and say, "OMG my throat hurts and my lower rib cage aches like a mother. Second sign that I had been delusional this about procedure.
I get up in the morning and take my phone and start texting and, while I am thinking I am going downstairs, I run into my clothes in my walk in closet. Third sign that I had been delusional....well you get it.....
So, I start to the switch the day all around WITHOUT me in it. Boys walk to school (who knows where I would have taken them!), Mom picks them up and takes them to their doctor's appointment (write SIMPLY worded letter to doc about the switch), I cancel on my parents helping them with there bills (probably be in foreclosure if I did that!), and get Grant to take Nolan to soccer practice and where I am meeting another PTA member to sign checks with me (or him). He was not thrilled with this, but when I looked at him he was like, "You just let me know and I will do it." with a "there is nothing in the world because you are the love of my life and I would do anything for you" tone. Bettter.
Just when I think, I got this, I know this, "This don't have me"..........It has me and owns me. FINE. Hail to it, but I'll be back, maybe even tomorrow!!!!!!
Happy Wednesday, Ang
So, everything went well, I woke up after the procedure, got dressed, vaguely remember them telling me it went well - banded two medium and one large. No complications. The nurse told me again, no drinking, no signing documents, just an easy night at home. Oh, and eating may be hard but just for a couple days. Soft mushy food would be best. (I made Beef Stew in the Crockpot. Bad choice.)
We get to the car and I think I owe my Mom a million dollars because I think she paid for parking and my trip through McDonalds. I never go to McDonalds, but I wanted a milkshake and fries. The milkshake was DELICIOUS. Like better than anything I had ever had in my life. AMAZING. Better than people, money, God, anything. Clearly, a lot of drugs were involved.
Get home, and my milkshake was gone. I was so sad. Like super, super sad. Like I wanted to cry sad. The French fires hurt going down - first sign that had been delusional about this procedure.
I am now just tired. I say good night to the boys. I wake up in the night and say, "OMG my throat hurts and my lower rib cage aches like a mother. Second sign that I had been delusional this about procedure.
I get up in the morning and take my phone and start texting and, while I am thinking I am going downstairs, I run into my clothes in my walk in closet. Third sign that I had been delusional....well you get it.....
So, I start to the switch the day all around WITHOUT me in it. Boys walk to school (who knows where I would have taken them!), Mom picks them up and takes them to their doctor's appointment (write SIMPLY worded letter to doc about the switch), I cancel on my parents helping them with there bills (probably be in foreclosure if I did that!), and get Grant to take Nolan to soccer practice and where I am meeting another PTA member to sign checks with me (or him). He was not thrilled with this, but when I looked at him he was like, "You just let me know and I will do it." with a "there is nothing in the world because you are the love of my life and I would do anything for you" tone. Bettter.
Just when I think, I got this, I know this, "This don't have me"..........It has me and owns me. FINE. Hail to it, but I'll be back, maybe even tomorrow!!!!!!
Happy Wednesday, Ang
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Update.....
So, as most of you know from my last post, I have to have "surgery". Lets remember that I am now an old car jalopy and I need to be patched from time to time. I have enlarged veins at the end of my esophagus cause by the slowing of my liver (from chemo), so they have to go down my throat, band them off (like lamb tails which my grandparents would appreciate), two by two by two. Every six weeks, I will do it again, to inspect the last two and band off the next two. Yes, this will be a grind, but still better than chemo. Depending on how many, we could be doing this until April. Up side, best sleep I get. Good thing morphine is a restricted substance because I am tellin' you, OMG, AWESOME! Anyhoo........so, I get the news that I am a lifer of blood thinners, I have to have this "therapy", I can never really be free of the doc for more than 30 days, I morn that, and then, well then......I live........I start my shots again. I am on a new medication that slows my heart rate and my pulse. The first day they both race......I contact my docs. "Lay down....they will correct they say." I do. It does. But then I sleep until noon and can't stay awake driving. Yeah, "This ain't gonna work." I say. So, I decide to take it at night. Better. Wow. Being on Beta Blockers and Blood thinners is a trip. No need for morphine, but I prefer to not be responsible for people on it, y'know?!?!?!?! They are now fighting on who can monitor it best......Ct of Epi? Let the games begin.....
Couple things I need to mention.....I will be fine. Cancer is at bay. Jalopy still going. Yes, I have issues. Yes, I go bike rides with my boys that any human should survive and I can't see when I get home. Mason parks my bike while I lay on the floor with my legs up until sight comes back and I feel, well, normal. I do not know why. I do not care. I am not going to bother the docs. I am, shall we say, terminal. Why bother them.
My Mom is like, "Have you told all your doctors that you are going on a Mexican Cruise with me and your aunt on November 1st?" "Nope." "I think you should." "Yep." "So, are you going to." "Yes." "When?" "After my procedure on Tuesday." Awkward silence.
I have to give it to my parents. They have to do this as I am an adult. They have no say, they have to power. That has to SUCK. Sometimes after my Mom has lectured me she says, "So, what are you going to do?" I respond with, "Somehow, I have managed to get this far, I will do what I need to." Honestly, I would kill me if I were my Mom. Bless her.
So, this week, I am going to get ready for my cruise. Tuesday, I am going in for my first banding. The rest of the week is normal except for the Memorial on Friday because, surprise surprise, other stuff happens in life.......
Love and understanding....Ang
Couple things I need to mention.....I will be fine. Cancer is at bay. Jalopy still going. Yes, I have issues. Yes, I go bike rides with my boys that any human should survive and I can't see when I get home. Mason parks my bike while I lay on the floor with my legs up until sight comes back and I feel, well, normal. I do not know why. I do not care. I am not going to bother the docs. I am, shall we say, terminal. Why bother them.
My Mom is like, "Have you told all your doctors that you are going on a Mexican Cruise with me and your aunt on November 1st?" "Nope." "I think you should." "Yep." "So, are you going to." "Yes." "When?" "After my procedure on Tuesday." Awkward silence.
I have to give it to my parents. They have to do this as I am an adult. They have no say, they have to power. That has to SUCK. Sometimes after my Mom has lectured me she says, "So, what are you going to do?" I respond with, "Somehow, I have managed to get this far, I will do what I need to." Honestly, I would kill me if I were my Mom. Bless her.
So, this week, I am going to get ready for my cruise. Tuesday, I am going in for my first banding. The rest of the week is normal except for the Memorial on Friday because, surprise surprise, other stuff happens in life.......
Love and understanding....Ang
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Cancer is a funny thing....
I had a scan on Wednesday with my normal reader who has been with me the ENTIRE time (except the last scan). He has not always liked me, but we have come to a shall I say friendship? He does his best all the time - once I challenged him, but we got through it. Kudos to him. As most of you know, I do not look for a fight, but I do not back down to one either. In the end, he is my guy. I choose him. So, I went to my scan on Wednesday knowing he was working. I got my results. I am still on cancer watch, but Dr. Rogers' is not convinced that the microscopic change is worth anything in my left lung. I concur. We can ablate it. I have done that before. I love that doc. I just really do not want to go back to chemo. Sad thing is, I love those nurses. I see them from time to time or on Facebook. Thank God for Facebook. It is hard to go back to the treatment center. The smell gets me. Purell makes me vomit. Literally, instantaneously. I use a brand at, you guessed it, Fred Meyer. Germ X or something like that.
But.......last time, I convinced Dr. Kaplan to let me try to be off of blood thinners. He reluctantly agreed and with a two month scan he thought it was a good trial. I was changed from two shots in my tummy to one baby aspirin everyday. I LOVED IT. My lower stomach was always bruised, I was tender and tired. Six years of shots to my tummy - twice a day.
Results - my cancer is still on watch. Maybe a millimeter growth on an old spot, but not sure because lungs are fluid and moving. No PET Scan for me - I am 24 (?) over the limit. And, truly, I am okay with all of it. If it grows, I think we all know it is cancer. Hopefully, we can ablate it, which is so much better than chemo. Result, I am still on watch, but I got another curve ball....
Because of all of my chemo, and I am assuming life, my liver has slowed. I have mentioned this before. It still functions fine, it is just slow. I think I would be too after 90 hits of chemo and life. Let's face it. I am lucky to have my feet hit the floor everyday.
Because of the slowed liver function, I have enlarged veins at the bottom of my esophagus, called varices. Another doc has been watching those for 3 or 4 years...maybe six, I don't know. Okay, so here is the bad part.....because I stopped the blood thinners, I have a blood clot that is complicating the varices. This is to the point that Hank is not happy and concerned. You have to understand, I have been with Hank for eight years thinking I was going to die after one year. He never said that, but he did say to me at the beginning, "You will die and die soon without treatment." Again, he refused to give me odds, but he did say they were against me. To his credit, he believed and therefore, I did. So, when he gets all emotional and such, which literally does not happen ever, you seriously pay attention. I am serious, his concerned, worried, happy, and pensive look are literally the same, unless you really know him. Hint: For patients that have him, if he calls another doc on the phone in the room that you are in, things are bad.
Don't get me wrong - I adore him. We have a real relationship beyond cancer. He has helped me see my boys grow up and is happy to see them when I bring them which is RARE. In fact, the entire building loves my boys. PET/CT save rice crispy treats for them when I come in. Angie and Anthony at the front desk - LOVE THEM. They know all their sports and want to know how they are doing. I am so lucky. I got into the cancer center and it is like Norm going into Cheers. Literally how lucky am I?!?!?!?!?!
Anyway, it has been super sad for me. I was under the false allusion that I was done. But, you see, Hank told me I had a chronic condition - which means forever. Apparently, I didn't hear that, or I did not want to. I had actually played with the idea that I would take my boys across the US like our friends in Australia did and teach them about US history. Sad part - I just realized that I will never not be in the presence of a doctor for less than a month. What was I thinking? I am not normal. Why did I think I could escape?
So, here I sit. I was at bible study today and everyone had such normal prayer requests. I did not want to go but they asked me twice and they are part of my tribe, so I blurted out all of it. I am such a Debbie Downer. I am always the one that is well, sad. I wish I was the praise and the light. I get that I should be thankful, but wow, this is a journey.
So, I have to start my shots again. Check. I have this new medication. Check. And I have to see my other Dr. on Tuesday. Check. Probably surgery. Whatever. Check.
Next scan in two month - Dec 16th to be exact. They are following me.....and I could not be more grateful.
Love, Ang
P.S. I am sorry I did not blog earlier, I was numb......
But.......last time, I convinced Dr. Kaplan to let me try to be off of blood thinners. He reluctantly agreed and with a two month scan he thought it was a good trial. I was changed from two shots in my tummy to one baby aspirin everyday. I LOVED IT. My lower stomach was always bruised, I was tender and tired. Six years of shots to my tummy - twice a day.
Results - my cancer is still on watch. Maybe a millimeter growth on an old spot, but not sure because lungs are fluid and moving. No PET Scan for me - I am 24 (?) over the limit. And, truly, I am okay with all of it. If it grows, I think we all know it is cancer. Hopefully, we can ablate it, which is so much better than chemo. Result, I am still on watch, but I got another curve ball....
Because of all of my chemo, and I am assuming life, my liver has slowed. I have mentioned this before. It still functions fine, it is just slow. I think I would be too after 90 hits of chemo and life. Let's face it. I am lucky to have my feet hit the floor everyday.
Because of the slowed liver function, I have enlarged veins at the bottom of my esophagus, called varices. Another doc has been watching those for 3 or 4 years...maybe six, I don't know. Okay, so here is the bad part.....because I stopped the blood thinners, I have a blood clot that is complicating the varices. This is to the point that Hank is not happy and concerned. You have to understand, I have been with Hank for eight years thinking I was going to die after one year. He never said that, but he did say to me at the beginning, "You will die and die soon without treatment." Again, he refused to give me odds, but he did say they were against me. To his credit, he believed and therefore, I did. So, when he gets all emotional and such, which literally does not happen ever, you seriously pay attention. I am serious, his concerned, worried, happy, and pensive look are literally the same, unless you really know him. Hint: For patients that have him, if he calls another doc on the phone in the room that you are in, things are bad.
Don't get me wrong - I adore him. We have a real relationship beyond cancer. He has helped me see my boys grow up and is happy to see them when I bring them which is RARE. In fact, the entire building loves my boys. PET/CT save rice crispy treats for them when I come in. Angie and Anthony at the front desk - LOVE THEM. They know all their sports and want to know how they are doing. I am so lucky. I got into the cancer center and it is like Norm going into Cheers. Literally how lucky am I?!?!?!?!?!
Anyway, it has been super sad for me. I was under the false allusion that I was done. But, you see, Hank told me I had a chronic condition - which means forever. Apparently, I didn't hear that, or I did not want to. I had actually played with the idea that I would take my boys across the US like our friends in Australia did and teach them about US history. Sad part - I just realized that I will never not be in the presence of a doctor for less than a month. What was I thinking? I am not normal. Why did I think I could escape?
So, here I sit. I was at bible study today and everyone had such normal prayer requests. I did not want to go but they asked me twice and they are part of my tribe, so I blurted out all of it. I am such a Debbie Downer. I am always the one that is well, sad. I wish I was the praise and the light. I get that I should be thankful, but wow, this is a journey.
So, I have to start my shots again. Check. I have this new medication. Check. And I have to see my other Dr. on Tuesday. Check. Probably surgery. Whatever. Check.
Next scan in two month - Dec 16th to be exact. They are following me.....and I could not be more grateful.
Love, Ang
P.S. I am sorry I did not blog earlier, I was numb......
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
What Cancer Prepared me for......
So, we are a month into school and, as usual, I am beyond busy. This is the PTA's time to raise money, raise awareness, and, well, raise the dead. I have had a BBQ for 1000 which I ran out of food for except hot dogs and grilled onions, a book fair that looked like a war, and I am in the middle of a Fall Fundraiser (which by the way you can contribute to....it is the BEST....MIXED BAGS! OMG! I was such a skeptic and now a fan! Check it out at
http://www.mixedbagdesigns.com/Retail-Home?fundraiserid=18600
Anyhoo, I digress...... but do I? This is my life now. As soon as the Fall Fundraiser is done, I am on to Box Tops even though Heather is doing it for me......then Spirit wear.....but I am doing Spirit wear for the Kinder school now.....my life is a....well.....blur. I find it funny when my friends say things like, "We are fundraising for a sign!" I am like, "We are fundraising so kids can go to Waskowitz. So that they have Scholastic Magazine. So that they can have a Science Night. So that they can have a shirt for their team." I have been up against PTAs with a budget of 150,000. We are at 20,000 of which I do 10,000 in coupons and trade. Do not get me wrong. I love my school - we just do things... well, differently. We also go with the program. Our parents rarely complain - we just, well, do it. I LOVE that.
Anyway, on to me, I am so boring, which I love, but I don't. I was suppose to have a scan on Friday, but I could not do it. Alana, my cousin, is having a candle party and I wanted to go. I know that sounds crazy, but one of my best friends wants to go with me. I never see Sherry and if I have a scan I will probably not go on Friday night. PLUS, Alana has offered to take my kids with her kids and hubby to dinner.....HUGE FOR MY KIDS. They LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, their cousins Nick and Joey and would do ANYTHING to go to dinner with them. So, my scan is on the 7th. Yes, am I worried. Yes, am I freaked out. Yes, I am a freak, but y'all knew that before. I am just trying to maintain. The last four weeks have included all that I mention but also two boys fevers of 103 plus, Grant's two colds and my "not feeling so good".
But here is the thing I want to say......this maybe be hard for some, so stay with me......maybe I was suppose to get terminal cancer. I don't get the term remission. Apparently, mine was too advanced and it is more likely than not to kill me. That said, I have to say it has calmed me a bit. I have perspective that I would have never had. Parenting alone gives you that, but maybe I needed more. Okay, so this is a shout out to my college roommates. They know me the best and have all the secrets of why I cannot ever run for public office, but did they even think I would be okay with having a small vacuum by my DRYER because there was so much sand from "Fishing at the river" that it went through the washing and ending up clogging the dryer. Okay, so the worst part of this is that I ACCEPTING THE SAND WAS CLEAN IN THE DRYER. Okay, so my college roommates are seeing my head spin around on my neck.....yeah, I agree. It has been an adjustment. I should send a picture, but I am not that good.
When I was first diagnosed, I was so mad at God for giving me kids that I cursed him. I was like, "Why give them to me and then make me die." Now, I know the answer. It was to make me fight. And now, that I have a whole "new level of chaos, dirt and paint touch up", I am ready for the journey, but the paint still bugs me......
I am proud of me, but it has been a journey. We all are. Bless everyone of us in our journey.
Happy Tuesday, Ang
http://www.mixedbagdesigns.com/Retail-Home?fundraiserid=18600
Anyhoo, I digress...... but do I? This is my life now. As soon as the Fall Fundraiser is done, I am on to Box Tops even though Heather is doing it for me......then Spirit wear.....but I am doing Spirit wear for the Kinder school now.....my life is a....well.....blur. I find it funny when my friends say things like, "We are fundraising for a sign!" I am like, "We are fundraising so kids can go to Waskowitz. So that they have Scholastic Magazine. So that they can have a Science Night. So that they can have a shirt for their team." I have been up against PTAs with a budget of 150,000. We are at 20,000 of which I do 10,000 in coupons and trade. Do not get me wrong. I love my school - we just do things... well, differently. We also go with the program. Our parents rarely complain - we just, well, do it. I LOVE that.
Anyway, on to me, I am so boring, which I love, but I don't. I was suppose to have a scan on Friday, but I could not do it. Alana, my cousin, is having a candle party and I wanted to go. I know that sounds crazy, but one of my best friends wants to go with me. I never see Sherry and if I have a scan I will probably not go on Friday night. PLUS, Alana has offered to take my kids with her kids and hubby to dinner.....HUGE FOR MY KIDS. They LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, their cousins Nick and Joey and would do ANYTHING to go to dinner with them. So, my scan is on the 7th. Yes, am I worried. Yes, am I freaked out. Yes, I am a freak, but y'all knew that before. I am just trying to maintain. The last four weeks have included all that I mention but also two boys fevers of 103 plus, Grant's two colds and my "not feeling so good".
But here is the thing I want to say......this maybe be hard for some, so stay with me......maybe I was suppose to get terminal cancer. I don't get the term remission. Apparently, mine was too advanced and it is more likely than not to kill me. That said, I have to say it has calmed me a bit. I have perspective that I would have never had. Parenting alone gives you that, but maybe I needed more. Okay, so this is a shout out to my college roommates. They know me the best and have all the secrets of why I cannot ever run for public office, but did they even think I would be okay with having a small vacuum by my DRYER because there was so much sand from "Fishing at the river" that it went through the washing and ending up clogging the dryer. Okay, so the worst part of this is that I ACCEPTING THE SAND WAS CLEAN IN THE DRYER. Okay, so my college roommates are seeing my head spin around on my neck.....yeah, I agree. It has been an adjustment. I should send a picture, but I am not that good.
When I was first diagnosed, I was so mad at God for giving me kids that I cursed him. I was like, "Why give them to me and then make me die." Now, I know the answer. It was to make me fight. And now, that I have a whole "new level of chaos, dirt and paint touch up", I am ready for the journey, but the paint still bugs me......
I am proud of me, but it has been a journey. We all are. Bless everyone of us in our journey.
Happy Tuesday, Ang
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