Update.....

So, as most of you know from my last post, I have to have "surgery".  Lets remember that I am now an old car jalopy and I need to be patched from time to time.  I have enlarged veins at the end of my esophagus cause by the slowing of my liver (from chemo), so they have to go down my throat, band them off (like lamb tails which my grandparents would appreciate), two by two by two.  Every six weeks, I will do it again, to inspect the last two and band off the next two.  Yes, this will be a grind, but still better than chemo.  Depending on how many, we could be doing this until April.  Up side, best sleep I get.  Good thing morphine is a restricted substance because I am tellin' you, OMG, AWESOME!  Anyhoo........so, I get the news that I am a lifer of blood thinners, I have to have this "therapy", I can never really be free of the doc for more than 30 days, I morn that, and then, well then......I live........I start my shots again.  I am on a new medication that slows my heart rate and my pulse.  The first day they both race......I contact my docs.  "Lay down....they will correct they say."  I do.  It does.  But then I sleep until noon and can't stay awake driving.  Yeah, "This ain't gonna work." I say.  So, I decide to take it at night.  Better.  Wow.  Being on Beta Blockers and Blood thinners is a trip.  No need for morphine, but I prefer to not be responsible for people on it, y'know?!?!?!?! They are now fighting on who can monitor it best......Ct of Epi?  Let the games begin.....

Couple things I need to mention.....I will be fine.  Cancer is at bay.  Jalopy still going.  Yes, I have issues.  Yes, I go bike rides with my boys that any human should survive and I can't see when I get home.  Mason parks my bike while I lay on the floor with my legs up until sight comes back and I feel, well, normal.  I do not know why.  I do not care.  I am not going to bother the docs.  I am, shall we say, terminal.  Why bother them.

My Mom is like, "Have you told all your doctors that you are going on a Mexican Cruise with me and your aunt on November 1st?"  "Nope."  "I think you should."  "Yep."  "So, are you going to."  "Yes."  "When?"  "After my procedure on Tuesday."  Awkward silence.

I have to give it to my parents.  They have to do this as I am an adult.  They have no say, they have to power.  That has to SUCK.  Sometimes after my Mom has lectured me she says, "So, what are you going to do?"  I respond with, "Somehow, I have managed to get this far, I will do what I need to."  Honestly, I would kill me if I were my Mom.  Bless her.

So, this week, I am going to get ready for my cruise.  Tuesday, I am going in for my first banding.  The rest of the week is normal except for the Memorial on Friday because, surprise surprise, other stuff happens in life.......

Love and understanding....Ang