New Base Line Scan

On Thursday of last week, I did a CT scan. This is like all the other scans I have had, but this one was going to be the new base line since my lungs have been all hacked up from lung surgery. I just kept telling myself, it is only a baseline scan. So, I did my mini fast (CT scan are easy that way), and went in. I had two other appointments after the scan. One for getting me back to normal - whatever that heck that is anymore - and the other was on my goiter (enlarged thyroid) which I have had for years. As I was driving in, my breath started to shorten, my palms became clammy, and I was getting sick to my stomach. I got to the appointment, got my yummy yummy juice (contrast) for my scan and promptly told them I was leaving to drink it outside. One said, "Technically....oh just go!" I smiled and left. I was planning on staying, but the two gurneys (sp) that came in behind me along with the smell of antiseptic, purell, and death just wasn't sitting well. So, I sat in the sun, reading my book and tried to pretend my contrast liquid was a double tall Carmel Macchiato or a Martini. Yeah, it didn't work. I finished up, did my scan, went to my other two appointments, and hugged my lung surgeon in the hallway between appointments. He said, "Hey, you look great. Am I seeing you today?" I replied sharply, "No, and I hope to never see you again. No offence." He quickly came back with, "None taken. I get that a lot." With his French Canadian accent, his comments were cute and haunting all at the same time. Somehow I also managed to get in a late breakfast with a old friend of mine. Her schedule (at least as far as I can tell) is pretty flexible and she always makes time for me which is very lucky for me. She laughs at all my jokes which make me EXTREMELY happy. I was supposed to work on cleaning out my port that day meaning I need to have them inject snake venom in my port and see if it can eat away where my tissue has grown over it, but I just couldn't take any more poking and prodding. "There is always next month!" I told myself. The next day (Friday), I went in for my monthly exam with my oncologist. He walked in to me chatting with the nurse about Legoland, Shuswap Lake Campground, etc. He sat down and said, "Your scan is fine - looks good." I looked at him my eyes and head swimming and said, "This was just a base line scan. You told me that." He looked at me and replied, "Ang, we are going to read it even if it is a base line." In that second, all the anxiety, stress, fatigue, etc rush through my body. It was like a really bad hangover all in a span of 30 seconds and then it was gone. Exhale. I passed. I am free (of at least that for now). I down loaded all my info from my other appointments, "Doc changing this rx because now my tissue is "fried" (and that is a technical term!), my goiter is apparently gotten 20% smaller which she is attributing to the use of Ativan during my chemo and she may write a paper on it, I have a colonoscopy on September 11th, etc. etc. etc." He was like, "Yep, okay, excellent, wow - aren't you lucky!?! You're good. Make sure they copy me on everything. What are you doing this summer?" And it was over, all the medical stuff was out the window and we were talking about camping and breakfast food. I could have worked on my port that day, but I was too busy with weekend plans to bother myself with that. I will wait for the weather to stink. As I was leaving to live my life, I thought, if I get through the colonoscopy (which is looking good now that I had a CT scan that they actually read), I will have the fall off. This will be the first fall that I may not be in treatment.....no pumps, no nausea, no shakes, no sweats, no treatment..(pause)...BLISS. I paid the garage attendant, wiped my eyes, blew my nose, and headed home. We camped this weekend at Mt. Rainer with Karissa and her family, then we turned around to do a BBQ in Blaine Sunday afternoon with the Canadians (one of the couples lives in Australia now and was in town for a visit). It was GREAT to see them. Some I had not seen since I got pregnant with Nolan, so pre Nolan, and pre Cancer. We didn't talk about it too much. Most follow my blog, and in good Canadian fashion they only spoke of it as much as I wanted to talk about it. We got home at midnight last night having put just under 500 miles on the truck this weekend. I could have never done that before, but I did it now and now is all that matters. Happy Monday, Ang