I think I am ready

Actually, I am ready and I have had a great month off. I have had dinner with friends, smelled spring, walked with my family, ate dinner and tasted the food, laughed, grouted the shower (apparently grout falls out even when you have cancer), spray painted way more than one person should, and simply lived. So, it was a nice break and I am ready to go. The bills are paid, Grant knows where stuff is, the kid care calendar is out, the teachers know, and the parents know. I have been cheered on, prayed for, emailed, and voicemailed. Tinkerbell flowers showed up too. Now, it is down to showering twice and showing up. People have told me to laugh before surgery, think positively, keep my eye on the target, and pray. Here is the thing about that. I usually go to the chapel at Mason and Nolan's preschool. No matter what I have going on there is always 5 mins in my schedule to slip away and pray. But here is the thing, when I sit down, no words come to mind. I have everything to ask for but I can't think of what to say. I just sit there in silence and hear myself breathe. I try and get something to come out and nothing does...so, what does that mean? I have thought about it from every angle, but I think it means that I have nothing to ask for - it has already been done. I have nothing to worry about because it is already taken care of. My challenge is to wait and let it unfold. My biggest worry is that I wake up tomorrow and it is not good news. My biggest anxiety is getting to the surgery so that we can get good news. See my problem? I just have to wait. Tomorrow I check in a 9:00am and surgery begins at 11:00am. It is supposed to last 90 mins with two hours in recovery. Grant will blog as soon as he can, but there are not promises. Be patient - this will be the challenge for all of us. Thank you for all the good wishes, prayers, thoughts, help, and crazy emails (Susie!). Love, Ang P.S. Karen I got it covered...you should check you voicemail more!!! :)