Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I think I am ready

Actually, I am ready and I have had a great month off. I have had dinner with friends, smelled spring, walked with my family, ate dinner and tasted the food, laughed, grouted the shower (apparently grout falls out even when you have cancer), spray painted way more than one person should, and simply lived. So, it was a nice break and I am ready to go. The bills are paid, Grant knows where stuff is, the kid care calendar is out, the teachers know, and the parents know. I have been cheered on, prayed for, emailed, and voicemailed. Tinkerbell flowers showed up too. Now, it is down to showering twice and showing up. People have told me to laugh before surgery, think positively, keep my eye on the target, and pray. Here is the thing about that. I usually go to the chapel at Mason and Nolan's preschool. No matter what I have going on there is always 5 mins in my schedule to slip away and pray. But here is the thing, when I sit down, no words come to mind. I have everything to ask for but I can't think of what to say. I just sit there in silence and hear myself breathe. I try and get something to come out and nothing does...so, what does that mean? I have thought about it from every angle, but I think it means that I have nothing to ask for - it has already been done. I have nothing to worry about because it is already taken care of. My challenge is to wait and let it unfold. My biggest worry is that I wake up tomorrow and it is not good news. My biggest anxiety is getting to the surgery so that we can get good news. See my problem? I just have to wait. Tomorrow I check in a 9:00am and surgery begins at 11:00am. It is supposed to last 90 mins with two hours in recovery. Grant will blog as soon as he can, but there are not promises. Be patient - this will be the challenge for all of us. Thank you for all the good wishes, prayers, thoughts, help, and crazy emails (Susie!). Love, Ang P.S. Karen I got it covered...you should check you voicemail more!!! :)

13 comments:

Gem said...

I will be thinking about you tomorrow!!
Love you,
Gemma

Myrna said...

Praying for you tomorrow and waiting (patiently) to hear. Love to you and the family...

Jen said...

You have a bigger crowd than you know cheering you on. I have been following your journey and will be sending positive energy your way tomorrow. You are an amazing woman.
-from a friend of a friend:)

Mary Benham said...

Angie, you will do great! I will tell some co-workers at Swedish to look out for your arrival post-op and take extra extra good care of you! You are a trooper and you have an outstanding support system. This is credit to you being such a great person! Thinking of you often and so appreciate your honesty and willingness to share your life with us all. You are an inspiration!

Charlene Waymire said...

Sending lots of love, good thoughts and prayers. Something tells me you will do great - you have an amazing knack for beating the norm and I don't think this will be any different.

PS - Tell Grant he can always call me to post an update, if needed.

Anonymous said...

Good thoughts and much love is coming to you from your immediate and extended Canadian family.

Love +++++++++++++++++
Marie

laurie@duncancleary.com said...

You are definitely ready, babe. Kudos to you. Your Chicago fan club is praying hard today; I know that you will get through it all beautifully. Love to you, Grant, the boys, Sharon & Keith. xoxoxoxoxo

Joanne said...

Ang,
Thinking good thoughts and praying for you. You are the strongest person I have ever had the privilege to know. I'm in awe.
Love, Joanne

Anonymous said...

As the Irish say, "May God hold you in the hollow of his hand until the pain passes and the healing begins". love pat&mag

Mariela said...

Every thing is goingto be o.k. God is always taking care of you, you are one of His favorites.I love you a lot. Your mexican sister. Mariela

Anonymous said...

Your in my thoughts...prayers coming your way.

Love, Vivian

Anonymous said...

Ang, I am late in getting this off, but hope that Grant will see my message and relay it to you.
I think that you can't think of any words in your time of meditation, because they have all been said for you by your many friends and family. All the prayers are being sent and there are so many, they can't be ignored. My love to you, Grant, the boys, Sharon and Keith, and the many friends that are pulling for this incredible woman. Hang in there because she is in God's hands and He will take care of her. Love Judi G.

Shannon said...

My dearest friend,

This verse immediately came to mind:

We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

...and it continues
Rom 8:27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

You are so dearly loved my friend!! Lots of hugs from all of my family to all of yours,
Shannon.