Thursday, December 11, 2008

Thursdays with Nolan

On my good Thursdays, I have Nolan by myself. Mason is in Preschool and then Grandpa picks him up for lunch and swimming. It is nice just to have Nolan sometimes. Today, he was particularly wonderful. I was feeling good and had a few errands to run. So, I got Nolan dressed after he chose which shirt to wear. Quite opinionated for a one year old. We hopped in the truck and off we went. One of the places we went was Target because my parents were having no luck finding plastic snow. I had Nolan and the stroller, but he wanted to "alk" (walk). So, we, in what I used to call "painfully slow pace" which now is quite fine "alked". He was almost run over a couple of times, but he managed to survive the experience. We finally made it back to the Christmas section and found the snow. After I called my parents to asked how much they needed, I looked at Nolan. He wasn't touching anything. He was perfectly still and shockingly quiet. He was just in awe of everything around him. He was looking at the moving deer and the Santa Claus countdown sign. (Background - Grant and I don't take the kids out to stores during December. It is just too much for the kids. Or, maybe it is too much for us. We are content to go to McClendons and look at the Christmas Villages, buy some taffy, and come home. It is the cheap Christmas outing where they sell NO TOYS.) I counted out the bags my parents wanted and had snow flying everywhere. Apparently, every bag had a hole. Nolan was still looking around and found the Christmas villages - just like McClendon's. He was so cute. He wasn't grabbing at them, or screaming "MINE", or anything, just looking in awe. Then, I stopped. With snow all over me and the stroller, I just stopped and remembered why I go to chemo. It is for that face, that amazement, that awe, that unquestioned belief in magic. That face. Suddenly, the news I got from my oncologist earlier this week didn't seem so bad. Heck, chemo isn't even on Christmas week, so it should shape up to be a good one. Maybe even the best I have ever had because of that sweet, little, perfect, amazing, lovable, relentless face. I am here. It is Christmas. I made it. Love, Ang


Anonymous said...

Life is very uncomplicated through the eyes of a child. Seeing Nolan's reaction must be like gold to you and Grant. The little ones are the reason that makes life worth while. Your day was memorable not only for Nolan but also for you.

All the efforts you put into making life special for the kids makes memories for the future. When our daughter was 8 years old, she told us how much it meant to her coming home from school with the house smelling good from cooking, a fire in the fireplace, and the feeling of being safe and snug. What more could you ask for...Hugs, Pam Life is good inspite of the troubles we have.

Anonymous said...

Some where between the cosmic existensialism of abstract thought and the Taffy at McClendons you have pulled the real meaning of our lives. You walk slowly with him so that soon he will run fast, so fast that you won't be able to keep up with him no matter how fast you could run as a kid. Our children are the thread of our immortality but they also are the creators of their own aspect of that immortality, it is like that game we played as kids where a dozen or so sit in a big circle and one person starts by whispering a word in the ear of another and that process is repeated around the circle until the person who started it has the word repeated in their ear. It may be close but the word is always a little different. Fate is strange yesterday, Thursday at about 3:15 Maggie and I were in the McClendons parking lot, we stopped at that International Market to pick up some bananas for the drive back home. We had been to the Military Cemetary, Mt. Tahoma, for my brothers service. By the way you can feel good about Nolan never becoming a politician, as you noted he just observed all the beautiful things,"He wasn't grabbing at them, or screaming MINE"..Love to you and your family. pat&mag