Tuesday, October 28, 2008

So, I may just be learning....

Today I had my follow up appointment with my surgeon. With a quick peak, and I mean quick, he said, "Wow, this is looking a lot better!" He started to laugh and said something like, "My legacy is that people think of me when they poop without pain." He is funny, but I think you would have to be to be him. I adore him - even more now. Anyway, I was out of there in 15 mins and down to my oncologist's office. While I was waiting for him, I was searching the web for boots. He walked in and said, "WHAT IS THIS?!?!?! And then picked out the MOST ridiculous ones for me....." We talked about what my surgeon had said and about how he said if I wanted to start chemo today I could. Then, I paused and took a breath. I asked him if we had lost any traction because I missed a round and if it would hurt if I waited until next week. Then, I mumbled, "I am just not ready." He looked kindly at me and said, "No, we haven't lost traction, and I think we did learn something this time. (I cannot remember this exactly, but he continued with something like...) Being the tough girl isn't so good." And then, in his really nice way, he went on to say to me that I shouldn't wait so long to say something. "You are a good patient. I know you don't like to bother people, but we are here to be bothered. Even good patients aren't good if they compromise their treatment." Those weren't the exact words, but they are close. It was basically a tongue lashing from him. I explained to him that I really must have a warped sense of pain and I will try and do better, but TO ME I thought if was just part of the drill. Clearly, I missed the mark, just like I did when I finally went in for hemorrhoids and found out I was pounding at death's door like, "LET ME IN!" Apparently, death didn't even want me. chuckle chuckle. So, I am home feeling pretty good. I still have some pain in the morning when I, you know, but it is short and getting shorter. I asked the surgeon about that and he said, you had a pretty bad infection so you will have some more healing to do then normal. It should go away in 2 to 3 weeks and a bit longer with chemo. He also said, "You know, you didn't even bleed like a chemo patient on Evastin." and shook his head. I know, I know, I don't act like a cancer patient even at the most basic level. So, here is the good news. I have Halloween, Scrapbooking, Thanksgiving with Jane, and my play with my Mom and Aunt. The bad news is that I won't be done before Thanksgiving, and my last round of chemo is on Mason's birthday. Luckily, he doesn't know how to read the calendar! Enjoy the great fall colors - they are particularly beautiful this year. Love, Ang


Anonymous said...

Jack Frost has come to call here in North Carolina. The trees haven't even fully turned colors yet and we are having our first freeze overnight. I guess that is not as spectacular as the 12 inches of snow falling in the Adirondacks tonight, but, Halloween is usually a shirt sleeves event for us.

I'm so happy that we will have Thanksgiving together, and that you get to follow through with your holiday plans. It makes the season so much more exciting to look forward to.

I bet there are two little who will be having a blast on Halloween...can't wait to see pictures. Love Jane

Anonymous said...

Dear Ang: "banging on death's door"? Check address BEFORE knocking on strange doors! You have really good Doctors, sensitive and kind and skilled. Maggie is from New England and the trees out here on Vashon are are spectacular so she feels right at home. Happy Halloween to you and the kids and Grant!!
love pat&mag

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you're healing well, feeling better and getting to enjoy the simple moments in life, as well as all of the special events you have planned. ENJOY! ENJOY! ENJOY! and keep getting healthier each and every day!

Anonymous said...

Happy Halloween!!
Enjoy trick-or-treating in your neighborhood tonight. I remember last year you didn't get too.
Those are fun times when the kids are so young.
Thinking of you,
Your unmet friend