Saturday, October 11, 2008

How I spent my anniversary

Thursday was my 14th anniversary to Grant. It, of course, was my bad day. We knew this in advance and decided to "ignore" it and celebrate it sometime in December when I was past this run of chemo and could taste food again. This round was a bit different than previous rounds because we introduced a new drug into the mix - Avastin. It is not a chemo drug, but it is a drug given to me during chemo. It is supposed to cut off the blood supply to tumors and has had very good results. The side effects are high blood pressure, blood clots. and kidney damage. Well, so far, my blood pressure isn't a problem. In fact, it went down after the drug. Obviously, I don't know about the blood clots or the kidney damage, but I am hoping those don't happen to me either. The big thing they told me is that I would have very loose stools and gas - the beauty of this just gets better and better all the time. Well, guess what, I got the gas, but no stool - seriously, no stools. In fact, it was quite the opposite. You know, I would love to suffer from loose stools just one time. Anyhoo, the constipation was so bad I became very sick to my stomach. I got the chills from the chemo and, all in all, felt like crap probably because I was literally full of crap. So, on my anniversary, I asked my husband to hold me and tell me it will all be okay. He, as always, complied. I was trembling, started to cry, told him that I missed Bob and I can't do this without him (there is a great thing to tell your husband), and proceeded to run to the toilet and puke. While what I described is not very romantic, it is a true testament of love because Grant waited IN THE ROOM WHILE I AM PUKING, got me comfortable in bed, kissed me on the forehead and told me that Bob suffered too and even though I didn't see it, he probably cried too, asked me if I needed anything, and then held me until I went to sleep. I am not sure why Grant is so good to me. I would have run for the hills by now. Apparently, he really paid attention to the vows we took 14 years ago; I wish I could say the same. I was just running around like crazed bride. I did send him away this weekend. It has been planned for a while and I knew he would need a break from me - from this. He is golfing this weekend with a couple buddies which is perfect because it is Canadian Thanksgiving and I am very thankful for him. My Aunt Donna is with me this weekend, so I am fine and the boys are in heaven. Happy Canadian Thanksgiving, Ang


Anonymous said...

Hi Ang,
Grant too is blessed to have you (an awesome person)in his life.
You two were meant to be together!
Hope you get to feeling better.

Love, vivian

Anonymous said...

Hi Ang, I am feeling very neglectful, as I was in Seattle recently for my 50th class reunion. Had I been up on your blog entries, I most certainly would have been connected. It has been 3 years since I was home and I being self-centered, had a very full agenda seeing many friends. I have kept you on my evening prayer list ever since I first heard you had cancer and on it you will remain. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family and many friends. Stay positive and this too will pass. Love you lots,
Judi & Bud PS: By the way, it doesn't seem possible that it has been 14 years since we saw the two of you taking those wonderful vows, congratulations.

Lisa said...

Hi Angie
This is Lisa Johnson Donna's daughter in law.I just want to let you know that i think you are an amazing womenI read your blog's everyday and find you to very inspiring.Whenever I have a bad day I read your blog and you always seem to help.My mom was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer and I gave her your blog to read to keep her spirits up.I know you have already helped her.My dad is just as amazing as Grant about taking care of her.I;m glad things are going well for you right now...keep up the good work.KICK THAT CANCER'S ASS.

Anonymous said...

Now that is love.

Even when you're writing about puke, you do it with a smile.

Enjoy your week off. I know you will!



Wendy the grad researcher said...

You have been in my thoughts over the past few years but I have been dealing with my own drama...
Anyway, Debra (from Childhaven) led me to your site and I wanted to say hello. When you feel like talking to a voice from the past call me at 425-837-9305 or email

You are always in my prayers,
Wendy Ellis

Anonymous said...

Angie- You can call me anytime- This nurse (me) knows how to give and enema! I have seen lots of butts too. So..... if you need me I am there for you babe!

love, beckey

PS- God Bless Grant he is WONDERFUL!