Sunday, November 25, 2007

Well, this is harder than I thought

After having a great Thanksgiving, I have been struggling ever since. It is not a constant struggle, but one that occurs every time I go to the bathroom. I love rectal cancer - it is a BLAST (literally)! When I was given the option of doing radiation instead of surgery, I jumped on it. Pooping in a bag didn't sound fun and all the people I talked to said, "Radiation? Oh, do it! It is that bad. You can drive yourself to and from treatment, you are a little sore, but it is doable." Now, I remember all of those people were Breast Cancer survivors - not rectal cancer survivors. Let me paint you a picture......radiation dries out your skin, darkens it, and makes it really sensitive. That doesn't sound bad, does it? Well, now run poop along it everyday. Yeah, that part hurts - BAD. So, while I can enjoy food now, I try not to eat. This is my reality...I choose which meal I am going to eat for the day, then I replace the other two meals with protein shakes (thank goodness I can drink them cold again since I am not on the drug that gives me the cold sensitivity anymore), I have to use suppositories every night to "disinfect" the area, sitz bath every time I poop, and rest. My thinking is that if I limit my intake, my output will dramatically reduce and I will limit my pain. Get this, none of my colorectal buddies have done radiation so I didn't get a warning on this and I didn't put two and two together before we started. Brilliant, uh?!?! Now, I do have "windows" of opportunity where I appear normal. I went to Target yesterday to get stuff for the house, complete Mason's birthday supplies, etc., but I was home within two hours just in case. I focus on 25 days until my radiation treatment ends (19 more treatments) and then I am back to what I know - chemo. My last day of treatment is the 20th of December. Yes, I will call the doctor, but I will see him on Tuesday, so I am trying to wait until then. I am hoping there is a topical treatment to dull the pain, but seriously beyond that what can they do? A girl has to poop every once and a while! Signing off while sitting on my ball, Angie


Anonymous said...

What I love about you Angela is that you look Cancer in the eye (or wherever) and refuse to be intimidated. Your chronicle is one of constant perserverance and personal courage. You have also taught us all we will ever need to know about poop and it's unplanned visits. God Bless You! pat&mag

Bob said...

Geez - who knew that a person would look forward to chemo as the lesser of two evils. This stinks big time. When they get around to asking me if I want to radiation for kicks instead of chemo, please come and give me a big dope slap upside my head and remind me how much you're enjoying this. Thursday is another fun day in the big green chair for me, so if you're in the mood, stop by. I should be on the second floor by 11:15 and then upstairs later.
Your buddy - Chemosabe Bob