Radiation starts tomorrow....

Well, I got the okay on radiation and I am going to start on Wednesday. If all goes well, I will also start a pill form of my chemo Monday which is a lower dose than what I was taking before. I asked why I couldn't keep doing the same chemo with radiation and the answer was, "You would die." I thought, "Well, all righty then, I guess that defeats the purpose." I was experiencing a lot of anxiety around changing the plan, getting child care organized everyday, and burdening so many people for the next little while that I started to cry yesterday and Mason saw me. He came up and said, "Mommy, are you sad? Do you need a hug?" I said yes and as he hugged me he said, "Everything is going to be alright." I replied, "Yes, it is baby. Yes, it is. Thank you." Then, he said, "Okay, I go play with Nolan now. BYE BYE!" All boy that one, but sweet and kind just like I wanted. I am so humbled by the fact that people are so willing to change their lives so that I can go to these appointments EVERY DAY (M-F) during the holidays. Coordinating all that has been so easy - thank you. Still elated by the news from Monday the 29th about not seeing any cancer on the PET, I have been doing a bit too much and the weight of it hit on Sunday. I was exhausted. I need to remember slow and steady. My Grandfather used to say that to me. "Angie," he said, "Slow and steady wins every time. Slow and steady." I miss him. I didn't pay enough attention to his advice until I got older, but he was the best Grandfather a person could have and the only relative that I had no blood relation to. HHHMMMMM.....maybe there is something to that (grin). So, off I go, starting tomorrow everyday to be zapped in the butt, lose my skin on my hands and feet - fun, and feel guilty for leaving my kids everyday, but time will pass soon enough and I will be better. I was thinking the other day about how I am going to repay all of this. I thought, "I am really good at washing cars. Maybe I can wash everyone's car? I will do one family a weekend until everyone that has helped me gets their cars washed." Then, I started counting it out and, if I did it right, I would be busy every weekend until 2010. Maybe I need to rethink that one...maybe two families a weekend - that would be 2009....and the stream of consciousness continues.......have a great day, Ang