And life goes on....

So, for me, I have had good news.  For my boys, they have started school, riding their bikes, and doing so many "mature" things I have had to stop myself.  "Where did they get that?!?!  Why do they know that?!?!"  Moms talk to me and tell me, "Don't worry about "x", he will be fine.  He has Middle School figured out!"  Pause......wha?!?!.......he hasn't told me.....what the heck?!?!?!  So, then I ask them about their conversation with "X" and they pour out all this information that I had NO IDEA THEY HAD IN THEM.  I am starting to schedule treatment and I am trying to get it so that I will be home for the boys, but they are like, "Mom, we got this.  Do the treatment whenever they can get you in.  That is the most important."  Again, "Who are you?!?!"  I have been juggling treatment, your Dad's business, Grandma and pa, for years now.  When did you get so independent?!?!?!  OMG, you send one kid to Babysitting Class and he thinks he knows everything!?!?!?!?!

School is interesting now.  Things are so much better, but Nolan is experiencing growing pains.  Thank Goodness for the new principal and Nolan is like, "I am so happy there are announcements everyday, but they are done by the VP Monday -Thursday and then the Principal on Friday, but she talks A LOT!!!!"  I respond with, "Is that bad?"  "No, she is VERY INFORMATIVE."  Seriously, the kid kills me......

So, here is the thing.  I think I am the luckiest person in the world.  I could not have kids.....I have kids....albeit that Nolan complains about being frozen ALL THE TIME.  I got terminal cancer, and yet I am still here.  They are 11 and 9.  I wasn't supposed to see past 3 and 1.  Again, they are 11 and 9.  I actually like my doctors.  Seriously, I like them.  I know their histories, I know their struggles, I know what they like, I know what they do not like.....I like them and all the nurses and techs that go with them.  They actually ask about me.......hippa is a bitch, but most people say stuff like, "Well, I saw her here and she seems good!"  Hippa sucks.  Crap, I have a blog.  Really, say anything you want.

Finally, this is for my husband.   Twenty two years ago we made all sorts of promises.  I also remember the promises we made in Issaquah after the picnic when I would not see him until the ceremony.  We agreed on the vows, but we also said that evening, "If you get too fat to leave the bedroom, you can leave and if you cheat.  There was a third, but neither of us remember, so I guess that is okay.  So here goes.....

Grant, you have never left me.  Sometimes, I think I should have left myself.  If things were reversed, I may have left you.  I know you do not believe that, but sadly, you should.  We were young, and healthy.  You loved me like no one ever had.  You have loved me the same ever since.  You are my best friend, you are an amazing parent to my boys, and you have been, really, the only one I could have gone through all of this through.  Sometimes life sucks and there is, honestly, no one I would rather go through it with than you.  You have loved me and I have loved you.  I just hope that is enough.

Here is to treatment and more years, Ang