And then I cried.

Yesterday was, well, fun if love needles and pain.  I have learned to be pretty good with it, but wow.  So, at 9:00am we went to the CT Scanner and I was suppose to lay as close to how I lay during my PET/CT scan.  Easy.  Local pain killer was injected, but nothing else because your lung moves when you breath and you have to be able to hold your breath.  No happy drugs for this one!  This was harder than they thought and after 45 mins on in an out, calling for a 25 gauge needle (that is HUGE) and asking me if this hurts or is it just pressure, I was unable to breathe "normally".  It is really hard to breathe when a needle is going in and out of your lung.  Your body is trying to protect itself and you your brain is trying to allow it to happen.  We finally came to, "Angie, I have another opportunity.  I will have to start all over and it will hurt.  You will have to hold your breath as long as you can."  My reply, "Do it.  I am NOT getting off the table until we get it."  The tech came in, held my left hand and by the end was holding my forehead down to keep me still.  I was doing everything to not move (somewhat unsuccessful), tears were streaming down my face wetting my hair on either side.  And then they said it, "Fluids out.  You are a trooper."  They bandaged me up, told me test results would start coming in soon, but probably next week.  Grant took me home.  I didn't do much but sit on the couch and work on the upcoming fundraiser for school.  I emailed Hank and scheduled with him for next week - Friday.  His voice kept coming into my head, "Angie, if it is cancer on the right side and we know we have cancer in the left, we may have to consider chemo."  Systemic approach.  I slowly close my eyes and breathe.  Mason was still home but way on the mend.  The school open house was last night and we all went.  I hurt, but not enough to miss it.  Went to bed right when we got home.  This morning I dropped the kids at school, did a couple things, and have a meeting at 11 with the principle.  I got home, chatted with Karissa while prepping for my meeting - she got new kitties and they are so cute!, and then I hung up and went to my email.  Hank emailed - no subject.  I open it, "Cytology on the fluid is negative.  Good work.  hk"  No cancer on the right side.  And then I cried.  Happy Happy Happy Friday, Ang