"Do you still have treatment???"

Mason asked because Nolan slipped and let it go that Nolan went to see Mommy's doctors on Monday for some extra tests to be sure I am okay after, well y'know, 41 treatments of chemo. "Why didn't you take me?" "I really don't want you to die and why you do you STILL have cancer." Slowly, I take each question - one by one. Yes; you were in school; I don't either, but sometimes we don't get to make that decision; I have NO IDEA, but we are workin' hard to get rid of it! Snow day yesterday was good and bad. I haven't been sleeping enough and with the steroids, if I don't go to bed by 9:00, I am up till 11:00 and then up at 3:00. So, the earlier I go to bed the longer I sleep and the better it is for EVERYONE. Grant stayed home and worked while I did little things while working with the kids. I cooked - that felt good, but sometimes I have to move the chair over to the stove, so I can sit down. Then, the kids want to help, and they need their own chair, so we have three full size chairs in front of the stove. By the afternoon, I was tired, but something happened in my head and I really looked at my kids.....you know, their thigh bones, and their teeth, you hear their laugh, and see the joy in there eyes, you answer their questions with a couple word you can only understand, you help them with their homework and really see when they are "getting it". What amazing little creatures. Sometimes you forget how precious they are when you have asked them for the 76th time to wash their hands and you threaten them with "mean Mommy voice" and then they do it, because listening to nice Mommy voice is apparently blissful - even 76 times later. Grant took the Focus out for a test drive in its new tires and got a couple movies at RedBox - my new favorite thing - BYE BYE NETFLIX!!!! So, we watched a Disney movie about the true meaning of Christmas. It was full of magic and sadness, orphans, and no toys, but as usual all is righted in the end. Mason was crying at one point and I just kept saying, "Have a little faith - no matter how bad it gets, I guarantee you, it will turn out happy in the end. Life can be joyous even when you don't think that is possible." The movie ends well and everyone had a family, toys, believed in Santa and Mason was over the moon happy. I tried having a teachable moment with him after the movie, but all I got was, "In the end, EVERYBODY HAS TOYS!!!!" Oh well - maybe next time! Enjoy what is left of the snow...... Love, Ang