Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Living my dreams
Legoland. Every time I have had to go into treatment I have always had something to look forward too. My goals were many. This time one of them was Legoland. I planned the trip back in February. I made the reservations for the room and the car, but I did not do the airline tickets. I asked permission from my oncologist and he said, "If you really want to go, we can work around a short trip like that." I still didn't buy the airline tickets. I finished up chemo, I survived lung surgery, but I still didn't buy the airline tickets. And then, after I survived the camping trip, I bought the tickets. If I could do that, I could fly to Legoland. HOWEVER, this would be the first trip as a family BY OURSELVES. Not that we didn't have offers, we did. But we needed to do this on our own. I was a bit nervous and I planned everything down to the most specific detail. On July 9 at 7:00 in the morning, the plan went into action. At 7:30, Nolan (my rock, the one that doesn't get sick) started puking in the truck. I was ready to bail, go home, we can't do, that is it, God is telling me to go home, adios, bye bye. Grant was like, "Honey, I think it is just going to be okay." Husband rate VERY low in those ordeals, so I called Karissa and she answered the phone half asleep. I apologized and told her I didn't know what to do. I said, "I don't have pukers." She replied, "Angie, you kinda do. It will be fine. He will be fine. GO." So, we forged on. He puked probably seven times before we got on the plane. I am VERY good with a Ziplock bag. Oh, and by the way, I was informed that the next time I go through security I have to but the puke Ziplock through the X-Ray machine. (I am sure you could see my face when they informed me of that one.....R-I-G-H-T.) We weren't too messed up, but I kept looking at Grant and he kept nodding like we can do this. Nolan stopped puking halfway through the flight. We landed, got the car, went to the park, and all the sudden he was hungry and VERY thirsty. We had a great afternoon at the train museum. The boys loved it! We checked into our hotel, went swimming, ate dinner, and slept. I then proceeded to think about every trip we have been on in the last two years. Mason has puked on every trip. Funny how I cannot recognize that I "have pukers" until one of my best friend tells me that I do. The next day we went to Legoland. Just like Disneyland last year, upon entering the park, I realize it is actually happening. I realize that I am doing what I have dreamed about, what I have planned for, and what I wasn't sure I would be around to do. I usually tear up, but no tears fall. I take a few deep breaths and then I mentally thank all the people that got me there - it is a long list, so I group them. ;) The moment passes and then I can get back to, "MOMMY, look at THAT!!" and "MOMMY, I want to do THIS!" We played for two days straight. Nolan never took a nap - and he loves his naps. By the time we were going home, he was walking around with his eyes totally bloodshot, staggering really, and I believe thinking, "MUST KEEP GOING......MUST KEEP GOING....." The night before we left, Nolan got a fever. Luckily, I had medicine and got it under control. I panicked a bit and said, "Should we stay longer??? What if it is the swine flu????" It wasn't. It was just a little kid that needed more rest and beat up his system for three days straight. Grant looked at me and said, "We can get home. It is just a fever." We did. Nolan is fine. We did it. Alone, as a family. (pause) WOW. (pause pause) I am so lucky. My dreams come true, but even more importantly, I am very aware that they are my dreams and I get to live them. May you be so lucky. Happy Wednesday, Ang P.S. This was Nolan's FIRST roller coaster!
Posted by Angela Clarno at 2:29 PM