Feeling normal again.....

Okay, so........LOTS has happened since my breathing blissfully post.  All was going well, I was happy and comfortable and then on Friday morning, 9/27, I shockley (sp) woke up at 2:00am with tremendous pain in my sternum.  I tried breathing, I tried different positions, I tried all my natural ways of diverting or changing the pain.  Jessica, my acupuncturist, helps a lot in this, but I could not get the pain down to a 6 in a scale of one to 10.  I woke Grant and told him we have to call Hank.  Called Hank.  Hank said, "What do you have at home?"  We went over my left over meds.  Made a plan, but he said, "You know you can always come to the ER."  I took a pill and gave it 30 minutes - nothing.  Call Hank.  Pain is at a 9.  "Ang, you have never been at a 9.  Let me talk to Grant."  And off I go to the ER.  I arrive.  I am escorted in.  Doctors already prepped for me.  Ready to give pain meds.  Hank is on the way.  It is 5:00am.  Left texts for the boys - didn't want to wake them.  Neighbors are taking them to school for us.  I am so bless for my neighborhood and my community.  CT scan and chest ray done by 8:00.  Start the pain meds.  My plumber doc is notified.  Everyone is on the case.  I am so blessed, but still can lay back without pain.  Cannot sleep.  Have to get in front of the pain with them meds.  I know how to do it, but I am so confused.  Hank admits me to the hospital I need an echocardiogram, but they want to do it in the room, not the ER.  So, that doesn't happen until 4:30 so I am there for the weekend.  Plumber doc looks at everything and says, "Did my procedure help?"  I was like, "Dude, you were my favorite person until the narcotics nurse for this crap!"  "Well, great, we can do that again as much as you want.  (Eye roll by me)  But I don't think anything I did started this.  I think it uncovered something else or you have inflammation from the procedure.  We will find out and will take note for next time."  I like the dude - no sugar coating. Hank is not in over the weekend - good for him!  And I have a partner of his who he say was much more polite and professional.  He was, but not more, just different.  Monday, every doc I have ever had reads the scan.  New plan.  There is a tumor on my heart.  Now, it can be seen because of the plumber doc.  The pain is probably from inflammation around my heart (kinda like pleurisy of the lung, but the heart).    So, I go home Tuesday morning, manage pain until the inflammation goes down, meet with Hank the week of the 7th.  He starts me on steroids for my tumor on the heart.  Keytruda is done (because it can also help things grow), can't radiate, no surgery.  I am taking the blood test this week also to see about other things, but it looks dim right now.

Part of the reason I could blog was because the narcotics were strong and I was loopy as heck.  The other part is that I did not want to say it out loud.  My miracle drug is off the table, surgery off the table, radiation off the table and it is my frickin heart.  My heart....

I am off the narcotics and just back to Tylenol when I need it.  I actually had to buy are opiate inhaler in case I accidentally overdosed.  All of those are tucked away for another time.  My family survived well.  The boys got to school, and home.  Everyone pitched in so I am grateful.  I will be ready for tomorrow.  Meals start up again tomorrow.  We tried to survive this week solely on home delivered stuff - what a industry that is.  Grateful for it, but WOW.  To better weeks......

Happy Sunday,

Ang