Thursday, September 28, 2017

End of summer and other loose ends....

My summer concluded with a nine night camping trip where I was in Peshastin (sp)  for two nights, then the Disneyland of KOA's for four nights (that is where I ran over the sign that said, "Drive like your kids live here" and did donuts on the beach with the same truck!!), and then went to the BLM land for the eclipse where my kids picked up so much liter and shot gun shells that they earned $41 and $19 from everyone staying there.  The eclipse was totally worth it.  Would do it again and again...truly. 

I returned to a busy schedule and one more camping trip with friends before school started.  Lots of doctor appointments and a routine scan.  I know, I didn't blog it, trying big girl pants.  Anyway, if you read the report they have grown .1 cm, but that could be scan error.  Neither doc was concerned.  So a six week check up and a three month scan and I am good.  Hank is happy so I am platelets continue to go up.  97 now.  The normal is 150 to 500, and I have been at 67 for years, but 80 last appointment and 97 this.  Could I be turning a corner????  Yes, maybe no....another appointment was coming up also.  I visited my Gastro Doc and said, "I think something is going on down there....."  We reviewed everything and he said, "Well, I have not seen you in a while and you have not a a colonoscopy in a while, so lets to that and an endoscopy ( up the butt and down the throat).  "I know doc.  I would have come sooner, but I can only do one cancer thing at a time."  His response, "And here you are 10 years later.  It is working for you."   It was Tuesday.  But let's back up just a bit......

The boys started their new schools and are doing really well.  The first weeks were rough, but Mason has settled in.  He does not want me on campus until after the buses leave in the afternoon.  We are working on him solving his own confusing situations and asking questions.  He is mixed things up a bit, but we have worked them out and he is learning to ask "clarifying questions" because they are not going to tell him everything and it is his responsibility to learn their way.  Middle school is different, but not a terrifying as I remember it.   At first I was hurt that I was not "allowed" on campus, but now I get it.  Mason is enjoying being Mason Hainsworth.  He is not "Angie's son, Angie's eldest, the PTA President's son....", just Mason Hainsworth.  I have to let go a little so he can grow up....

Nolan cried a few times and then threw himself into every extra activity he could.  He is now a crossing guard and said, "Mom, I violated the first rule of crossing guard already, but someone had to do it!"  He directed traffic.  I asked if they fired him yet and he said, "No.", so I said, "Must have been okay then. Nolan, life is about getting done what needs to be done.  Sometimes that is a risk, but when done out of necessity and safety, you will probably never been punished."  He looked at me like, "O-k-a-y....I think I get that...., so should I do it?"  Queue eye roll.  This school is a different beast than my previous.  Children play without limited supervision because they just play.  If they have a problem they go to a teacher or the office which I have NEVER seen happen and I am there EVERY morning.  Nolan ran for Student Council so we wrote a speech.  Then he withdrew because I didn't send him with posters, pins, and donuts.  WOW....I may have to step up my game.

Grant is super busy at work and everyone is happy about that.  The boys want a dog, the cats went through a thing of peeing on our bed, I need to clean up my study, so you see, everything is normal (cats are doing great because if they were not, well, that would be sad for them).

September 26th, 2017.  I had a 1:15 check in for my colonoscopy and endoscopy.  I have prepped, starved, etc. and am ready to go.  It took FOREVER to prep and finally at 3:45 we were rolling.  The anesthesiologist came in and introduced himself to me...I had not worked with him before, but he said, "So you have had two different protocols over the last three procedures."  I looked at him and said, "Well, the last couple procedures have been good, so lets follow those."  He then said, "So, you don't know which protocol was with which procedure?"  I said, "I do, but not by date, by procedure, can you tell me of which you are speaking?"  "No."  My eyebrows go up and he shuffles through paperwork, "Here is what we are going to do...we are going to do a hybrid of yada yada yada."  I ended with, "The last two procedures had been great, to get as close to that would be great."  "Yada, yada, yada, yada."  SIDE NOTE: You know, I have been around this block a few times and when the anesthesiologist starts telling me in what order the procedures are going in they are WRONG 100% of the time, when they come in tell me how my body is going to react they are WRONG 100% of the time and when they bark at nurse right before the procedure they are just assholes.  I said a little prayer right before I went to sleep.  They did not place my mouth guard BEFORE the procedure which is always bad with me.  Here is what happened.....the procedure was supposed to be 35-45 mins.  It was over two hours.  It took FOREVER to get me out and FOREVER to get me awake.  I woke up totally nauseous which never happens to me.  More drugs for that and it takes longer.  I wake up with a huge top lip (they really should have set my mouth guard) and I am in pain - level 7.  I am rarely at a 4.  They keep asking me if I need anymore medicine.  I say no because all I want is to get out of there.  We need your vitals to get good to move you on.  FINE.  Mentally go to my happy place, slow my breathing, slow my heart rate, and BOOM, I am out.  Don't think we do not know how to manipulate that system....seriously, if you can't, your not a frequent flyer.  Next room, I can barely get dress because my body is so sore.  My calves are like rocks, but rib cage hurts so much I start to cry, but I can't cry because it moves my rib cage.  My lip feels like I have been hit in the face which hurts and I think my bar fighting days will never begin.  "Here is some juice.  Take a moment, and I will do your vitals."  REPEAT.  "Your vitals are great.  Here are your instructions.  Doctor talked to your mom.  Can I get you a wheelchair?"  "No. I will walk."  But I could barely walk.  "You sure?"  "Yep."  (I am getting the fuck out of here and you are going to watch me go...)  Home.  Can't eat.  Throat closes up.  Can't cough that is a pain of 9.  Look in my papers for pain med options.  NONE.  No pills tonight.  Grant is coaching Mason tonight.  Dawn has Nolan and her son at Flag Football.  Nolan gets home.  He tries to get me to eat jello.  I can't.  I am just in a ball on the bed, so he reads to me and I calm down.  Grant brings me a milk shake.  I get 1/4 of it down and I fall asleep.  To get in and out of bed is a nightmare, my rib cage feels like it just got out of lung surgery on both sides, my calves are still rocks and my neck is sore.  My lip is oozing all night.  The next day, my Mom takes the boys to school, Grant has to work (he worked from home on Tuesday to drop off and pick up the boys) and had a meeting that day.  It was early release also.  Mom had to take Dad to a doctor's appointment.  I picked up the kids.  I got Mason late, and then got Nolan.  On the way home, I had a coughing attack that when it stared, I slammed on the brakes.  Luckily, we were on a back road and I got to the side.  Pain 9.  Still no call from the doctor, I had taken nothing for the pain.  I got over it.  The boys were checking when the next one happened and I got to the suicide lane for that one.  Not very safe but we got home.  Called the doc.  He has a new assistant so that if you get the voicemail, you have to call back and get the main desk to find him so that he can get the message to my doc.  I have almost had it.  My doc passes by and realizes it is me.  He said, "Tell her I will call her in 10."  He does.  We talk about the procedure.  Upper GI had a couple varies.  He banded them.  Lower I had an "angry" polyp.  That is where the blood has been coming from.  Same location as all the other "tumors in my past".  He took as much as he could and he believes we got it in time.  I said, "Because we all know what it is."  "Yes...but we got it."  I tell him that I feel fine from what he did and explained everything else.  He listened and said, "I want you on.....etc."  I said, "Dr., lets face it, we are going to be doing this again, but if that anesthesiologist ever show up.  I will not let him touch me."  "That is fine and I will back you on that.  Clearly, whatever combination he chose was not the right one."  "Yes, and I am going to my High School Reunion with a FAT LIP.  Thank him for me." and he said, "Angie, with your personality, everyone will see you just as you were in High School."  I said, "I was pretty then."  He said, "That is just want I said."  We ended the conversation.  I adore him but I am making a voodoo doll of the other doc.....

Yesterday, on Facebook, did a game of "Which sentence describe your life best?"  I do all these things, and I rarely post them, but I pushed the button and it came back with, "Be the Reason Someone is Smiling."  There were pictures all the way around the sentence from my page, but what made me cry is one of the pictures was of Shelly Bulter and her family.  Shelly was one of my cancer buddies.  She passed in 2013.  All the other pics were more recent, but that one showed up.  I couldn't give it the cry it deserved because my chest hurt so much, but she was there and I needed that.  I miss her.  If you have a chance, look at it.  She had a beautiful family - still does.  Neil and the kids are doing well I have heard and I am so happy for that.

Anyway, today is better than yesterday and certainly better than two days ago.  Mom took the kids to school.  Nolan asked to go with Dawn because I think he likes her better and he has football tonight with her son, Owen.  I just have to get Mason which I think will go a lot better than yesterday and I am going to ice my frickin' lip and show up tomorrow for as long as I can handle it.  The pain is still bad in my rib cage, but I am walking fine now.

Back to Voodoo Doll Making,
Ang ;)


Anonymous said...

I agree with the voodoo doll He deserves it
Sorry it was such a mess but then it is over for a while
Hang in there. You are an inspiration to me and a lot of other people
Will see you soon
Love ya lots
Peggy Smith

Jessica said...

I'll give you some needles...

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