Eight Years....and Boot Camp

Tuesday, on Cinco de Mayo, I went to my two remaining doctors that I have to check in with regularly.  My oncologist, who I do not think I will ever shake, and my internal medicine doc who has been monitoring my varacies at the bottom of my esophagus for many years now.  Because of my slow Liver function (get this, he says, I have no liver disease.....other docs will not let me take Tylenol because of my liver disease.......argh....), the veins in the bottom of my esophagus are enlarged.  Here is the worry - they can burst and I am on blood thinners.  Bleeding can be quite bad, like you can bleed out in a matter of minutes.  Here is the thing - I have no symptoms, I have no pain, I do not barf up blood, I do not barf anymore.  Amazing what a strong stomach you have after six years of on and off chemo.  So, he wants to put me on a pill that will lower my heart rate and blood pressure to reduce the "stress" on my veins.  GONG. (Remember the Gong Show - I loved that show....I digress...).  GONG.  I say to him, "Let me tell you where I am at."  Dr. D is awesome, but no one says that to Dr. D.  He was like, "O-K-A-Y, let's talk about where y-o-u...a-r-e...a-t....????"  "Dr. D, I have worked really hard to get back and for the first time in 10 years (two of kids and eight of this bullshit), I feel like I just might be back.  I walk three times a week with one being a five mile, I do yoga, I am doing crappy like videos at home and now, now I want to BOOT CAMP!  I have fought to be here.  I have gone through crap to get my thoracic muscles to remember to move probably, I have gone through PT, Grant bought me a heart monitor that I promise to wear, and I am going to with a buddy."  He was squinting when he said, "What is BOOT CAMP?"  I told him what I knew and I asked for it for six months just to see then I would take his pill.  He thought about it and said, "Angela, good for you for wanting this and good for you for doing it.  Six months?  Promise you will come back?  You know your veins may never burst, but I just do not want that to happen...."  "I know, doc.  I know."  "You will call me if anything changes, you throw up blood, weird bleeding in you stool..."  I interrupt, "When have I not?!?!?!  Yes."  "Okay, Boot Camp lady, get out of here.  By the way, how long is a boot camp workout?"  "45 mins"  "Oh, good, they can't kill you in 45 minutes...."  I raise my eyebrows, "O-K-AY."  I am off and go to lunch with a great girlfriend.  I tell her about Boot Camp and say, "They can't kill me in 45 mins."  She nods and says, "Listen to your body and drink lots of liquids."  She may have been rolling her eyes... :)   Off to see Hank, my oncologist, I weigh in, "You have lost a few pounds."  "Six" I reply.  I continue with the conversation with Dr. D.  "I want to do Boot Camp.  I will wear my heart monitor, I am going with a friend, ......."
Hank is like, "What do they do at Boot Camp?"  I explain a little but I really do not know, but I end with, "It is only 45 mins."  Hank shrugs his shoulders and says, "They can't kill you in 45 mins - go ahead!"  Chemo almost killed me in 2 minutes......does anybody pay attention to what they are saying?!?!?!  I said to Hank, "Great, do you know it has been eight years this month?"  He said, "I know."  No he didn't.....whatever.  I said, "Do you get a performance bonus on people that live longer than anticipated?"  "Always like the way you think Ang, but I do not think so.  Maybe I should ask."  "Never hurts to ask!" nodding with wide eyes.  He hugs me and tells me that I have to come back next month because of Boot Camp....wha????  Okay, fine.  I was on cloud nine.  I came home, walked the hill by my house, visit with couple friends for a Cinco de Mayo Margarita, and was a normal girl, with a normal family, on a normal day, doing her best......

Boot Camp was yesterday...I survived and I can still walk, but gingerly.  I survived.  Yeah me.

Happy Thursday, Ang