What I thought was the perfect day....

Today I had a friend call at 9:00am - "I have at least 20 bags for your fundraiser!  Can I come now?!?!?"  Me, "Of course!"

11:00 We are biking to Nolan's soccer clubs year end picnic with Hunter who is part of the league, but not in Nolan's group.  My boys love Hunter.

2:30 Biking back from the picnic.  I am behind watching what a beautiful family I have.  How lucky am I?!?!?!

3:00 We learn that Hunter has try outs at 5:30 at Wilson fields.  Okay, plan the day, his grandparents are at a play, work it out.

5:00 Take Hunter to try outs, go to Fred Meyer.  Have beautiful interactions with customers including one little boy that is dressed to the nines with a microphone.  I say, "Little man, you look awesome!"  and he confidently says, "Why thank you!"  His Dad and I crack up.

5:30 I am home and am finishing up dinner thinking about how cool my life is.

6:00 I get a text from Hunter's Grandparents that they will pick him up.

7:00 We eat while watching the season finale of Amazing Race.

8:30 Boys in bed

9:00 Grant kisses me good night while I am doing lunches.

10:21 I get the call that my Grandmother has past away.  I was with her Thursday.  She told me she needed to go.  I told her it was fine and that we got it.  We will be fine.  I am healthy and I will make sure it will be okay.

What I know.....she is free.  She is not confined by her body and the worry of Dad and I. 

10:22 I call Peggy on her home phone - she is on vacation.  I let her know that Grandma past.

10:23 I call my Dad.  I am meeting him in the morning at 9:00 to get her stuff and "process" the event.

10:25 I wake Grant up and cry.

She is free.  I love her and she taught me so many things.  She was obstinate, and so am I.  She can make a meal out of bacon grease, beans, a little chicken and potatoes, so can I.  She taught me to sew.  Straight stich without swearing, others with.  She taught me to look at the world outside my Father's eyes and I did.  She taught me to be fierce, honest, and humble.  I think I got the first two.  I don't know if I will ever get the third.

It was the perfect day.  My Grandmother is free and so am I.

Love, Ang

Eight Years....and Boot Camp

Tuesday, on Cinco de Mayo, I went to my two remaining doctors that I have to check in with regularly.  My oncologist, who I do not think I will ever shake, and my internal medicine doc who has been monitoring my varacies at the bottom of my esophagus for many years now.  Because of my slow Liver function (get this, he says, I have no liver disease.....other docs will not let me take Tylenol because of my liver disease.......argh....), the veins in the bottom of my esophagus are enlarged.  Here is the worry - they can burst and I am on blood thinners.  Bleeding can be quite bad, like you can bleed out in a matter of minutes.  Here is the thing - I have no symptoms, I have no pain, I do not barf up blood, I do not barf anymore.  Amazing what a strong stomach you have after six years of on and off chemo.  So, he wants to put me on a pill that will lower my heart rate and blood pressure to reduce the "stress" on my veins.  GONG. (Remember the Gong Show - I loved that show....I digress...).  GONG.  I say to him, "Let me tell you where I am at."  Dr. D is awesome, but no one says that to Dr. D.  He was like, "O-K-A-Y, let's talk about where y-o-u...a-r-e...a-t....????"  "Dr. D, I have worked really hard to get back and for the first time in 10 years (two of kids and eight of this bullshit), I feel like I just might be back.  I walk three times a week with one being a five mile, I do yoga, I am doing crappy like videos at home and now, now I want to BOOT CAMP!  I have fought to be here.  I have gone through crap to get my thoracic muscles to remember to move probably, I have gone through PT, Grant bought me a heart monitor that I promise to wear, and I am going to with a buddy."  He was squinting when he said, "What is BOOT CAMP?"  I told him what I knew and I asked for it for six months just to see then I would take his pill.  He thought about it and said, "Angela, good for you for wanting this and good for you for doing it.  Six months?  Promise you will come back?  You know your veins may never burst, but I just do not want that to happen...."  "I know, doc.  I know."  "You will call me if anything changes, you throw up blood, weird bleeding in you stool..."  I interrupt, "When have I not?!?!?!  Yes."  "Okay, Boot Camp lady, get out of here.  By the way, how long is a boot camp workout?"  "45 mins"  "Oh, good, they can't kill you in 45 minutes...."  I raise my eyebrows, "O-K-AY."  I am off and go to lunch with a great girlfriend.  I tell her about Boot Camp and say, "They can't kill me in 45 mins."  She nods and says, "Listen to your body and drink lots of liquids."  She may have been rolling her eyes... :)   Off to see Hank, my oncologist, I weigh in, "You have lost a few pounds."  "Six" I reply.  I continue with the conversation with Dr. D.  "I want to do Boot Camp.  I will wear my heart monitor, I am going with a friend, ......."
Hank is like, "What do they do at Boot Camp?"  I explain a little but I really do not know, but I end with, "It is only 45 mins."  Hank shrugs his shoulders and says, "They can't kill you in 45 mins - go ahead!"  Chemo almost killed me in 2 minutes......does anybody pay attention to what they are saying?!?!?!  I said to Hank, "Great, do you know it has been eight years this month?"  He said, "I know."  No he didn't.....whatever.  I said, "Do you get a performance bonus on people that live longer than anticipated?"  "Always like the way you think Ang, but I do not think so.  Maybe I should ask."  "Never hurts to ask!" nodding with wide eyes.  He hugs me and tells me that I have to come back next month because of Boot Camp....wha????  Okay, fine.  I was on cloud nine.  I came home, walked the hill by my house, visit with couple friends for a Cinco de Mayo Margarita, and was a normal girl, with a normal family, on a normal day, doing her best......

Boot Camp was yesterday...I survived and I can still walk, but gingerly.  I survived.  Yeah me.

Happy Thursday, Ang