Someone asked me the other day

how many Christmases since Nolan has been born have your been off treatment.  Well, this is his forth Christmas and this is the second Christmas I have been out of treatment since he was born.  So, 50% of the Christmases that he has been alive, I have been sick.  Pretty bad odds for a little one, but when I look at the Christmas album, we sure did a lot and they sure seemed happy....  So, here is an update.  I saw the esophagus doc and after interviewing and examining me he said, "Well, since you probably want to focus on the holidays the next few weeks and I think the odds of this being a problem (translation...the veins in my lower esophagus bursting and me bleeding out due to the high amount of blood thinners I am on) is pretty minimal, why don't we wait until after Christmas?"  ENOUGH SAID.  BUT, I had to get "permission" from Hank.  Hank said, "If he said so, I think you can wait, MERRY CHRISTMAS!"  I returned the email in seconds with, "Happy Hanukkah!" Like SEE YA!!!  Poor oncologists...they really get the shaft cause I ain't going to the building for nothin' until my appointment to get a scope down my throat which is scheduled on December 29th.  So, truly, I have been enjoying the holiday season.  There was a little snafu with a possible refinance, but that is over.  We didn't do it because get this.....we can't get a better rate than we have because.....now wait for it.....this is FRICKIN' classic......we don't owe enough money.  We can't get a loan to redo our bathrooms because of the "current state of the banking industry".  So, 16 years ago, when Grant and I had NO ASSETS, NO LIFE INSURANCE, etc. they qualified us for a bazillion dollars for a home loan.  Of course, that was Washington Mutual who now is out of business and the largest banking failure in the 21st century, but nevermind.  Now that we have back up and a good chance I am going to kick it and leave a bunch of money to Grant, they don't want anything to do with us.  GOTTA LOVE IT.  So, no bathrooms, no refinance, and WHATEVER.  I have bigger problems!  So, besides that, life has been great and almost too busy.  I think my eyes were bigger than my energy.  For example, last weekend, I had us fully booked with holiday fun and by Sunday at 1, I was done for.  Like in my PJs at 1pm, done for.  So, if I don't show up for something, forgive me, I am not used to this being healthy thing.  Oh, I should tell you two things....one, when I was meeting with the esophagus guy, he was like, "Your counts are low (meaning blood).  They should have bounced back by now.  Do you feel tired?"  I was like, "Oh, look at my crit (sp)."  He replies, "Yeah, that is good.  That is why you don't feel tired, but..."  Quickly, I interject, 'Yeah, but my crit is good!"  Funny part....I don't even know what a 'crit' is!!!!!!!  WHEW, dodged that one.  Seriously, you can't say do this after Christmas and then start talking about something else that could screw up my holiday.  Nope...don't gonna happen!  Serpentine, serpentine, serpentine!  Also, funny Nolan story, so I am walking to school with Nolan to pick up Mason and Mia and he is going on about how he is saving his money for a pirate ship, cannon, and gun.  He said, "Mommy, I can't quite afford the cannon, so I think I will just get the ship and gun."  I thought about it and said, "Well Nolan, Mommy and Daddy don't have a gun and we haven't really needed one.  Plus, used pirate ships come usually fully equipped with cannons.  And if you have cannons you can probably get the bad guys, so that they don't get on the ship and then you don't need a gun."  "Really Mommy?"  "I think so, but I have never been a pirate."  "Good idea Mommy!"  Long pause.  "Mommy, when I am done being a pirate at the end of the day (Nolan thinks pirates have shift work and that it is like 8-5 and then you go home to your family - I know - hilarious and I can't tell him different!), I am going to come home to you.  Carter (his best friend) will live next door with his family.  But I will come home."  "Okay, Nolan."  "See, Mommy, pirate ladies are not very pretty and you are, so I am coming home to you."  Sweet moment, but don't get comfortable with it - this is NOLAN we are talking about.  Short Pause.  "Well, thank you Nolan.  That was nic..."  Nolan interrupts, "But not when you are yelling.  You are VERY ugly when you are yelling."  Yep, there it is.....another "teachable moment" I get do deal with.  Exhale.  "So, Nolan, have we not talked about why Mommy yells?"  No lie.....you can hear Nolan roll his eyes and say, "Yes MUMMMY!"  And, we continue off to school......  Happy Wednesday, Ang