Fall without Cancer

is moving along quite well. Our time is filled with pumpkins, patches, Spiderman and Tigger costumes, practicing how to trick or treat "properly", early morning walks, and the occasional panic attack. Yep, they are back, but for ENTIRELY different reasons. Now, I am fine taking my kids out in public AND putting them on the naughty spot in the Fred Meyer frozen food aisle. No, now they are about my next scan that ISN'T UNTIL LATE NOVEMBER! What if it comes back? What is that pain? Is it cancer? What if I die? What if, what if, what if......so after a good nights sleep and some deep breathing (which is harder now, but I am also missing 10 pieces in my lungs!!!), I read the obits. Yeah, I know, a chick like me shouldn't read the obituaries, but you know, I find a "circle of life" sort of calm from it. So, if you look at the line of questions that I had before the answers are....it could come back; who knows what that pain is you have had two kids, cancer, lots of surgeries, and your are 40, you are bound to be in pain; maybe it is, so what you have had that before; you will die - everybody does. So, I look at my anxiety pills and I don't take them. I remember that TODAY I DON'T HAVE CANCER AND THIS IS THE FIRST FALL WITHOUT CHEMO IN TWO YEARS, I recycle the obituaries, and I turn back to kids and practice trick or treating. Just so you know, we practice the "thank you" part a lot. Mason is great at proclaiming, "TRICK OR TREAT" and Nolan is FANTASTIC at the candy taking part! Happy Wednesday - Ang