Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Life is moving along nicely. I still have Fridays that are riddled with doctor's appointments, but it is all just to monitor me. Apparently, I struggle with situational anxiety that I am being referred to get help with. My therapist friends tell me it is not silly, but I think it probably is. I just get anxiety when I am out alone with the kids. Of late, it seems to be going away, but I have to say that I do not stray far from home for too long with them. And, if I do, someone is there with me for most of the time. I have found my way through all the bills from the surgeries, billing nightmares, and am so thankful for good insurance. I have waded through my office that has been sorely neglected for months - nine to be exact. I have done my filing, sifted through all the medical paperwork, shredded, and recycled. I am back at scrapbooking which is a centering force for me. And, get this, people are approaching me about "working". They are telling me things like, you have skills in this and you would be so good at that, I want you to talk to this group of women, you can work from home as many or as little hours as you like.....can you believe it??!?!?! If they saw my office (BEFORE last Friday) they would have NEVER said that, but then, these are the people that have seen every inch of my house, so maybe they would. Life never ceases to amaze me. We/I have a trip planned every month through October. Carpe diem. I did have a bit of a mental break the other day. The only medical therapies I am on anymore are ones that correcting what was done during radiation and chemotherapy - yep, down there......so, three days before my camping trip, I got a UTI. Yeah, a UTI is about the ONLY thing you CANNOT have on a camping trip - IN A TENT. I got antibiotics and it cured it, but the downside is I stopped the other therapy. I guess I just couldn't take it. Maybe I exhaled and realized how tired I was from all of the medical appointments. I think my Colorectal Surgeon said it best when, on the same day as I was told I was in remission, I went to his office asking if I should still do a colonoscopy that June (I have done them every June). He looked at me and said, "You have just been through a heck of a journey. Do you really want to do this? We could take a break and I could see you in August." We worked through schedules and picked September 11th. I didn't really think about what he said until that moment waiting for the antibiotics at the pharmacy for the UTI and I thought, "I don't know how to live without doctors." The last week and a half have been glorious, but I have been called and told to start up again. In fact, they told me, just do half of, any of it, but just continue a little bit. They are begging for my compliance. I paused, but I granted it. I sure did like my vacation from it all. Maybe I will get another one soon. Happy Tuesday, Ang
Posted by Angela Clarno at 7:37 PM
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Thank you for keeping us updated, Ang.
Los queremos mucho!
Do take care of yourself ... sometimes we forget to.
Leave it to the Psych Doctors to label something that scares the "qwap" out of a person 24/7 for 2 years a "situational anxiety"
better to call it "Battle fatigue"
or P.T.S.D. God Bless You, and keep on kicking the "qwap" out of Cancer. love pat&mag
Yeah...what Pat&mag said...
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