In my house....

So, I write to you one month since my last post.  Quite honestly until now I have had nothing to post about.  Most of the time, if I have something to say, I MUST say it.  If I do not, it haunts me and literally keeps me up at night.  There is was last night again.  So, here goes.....The weeks have been moving along - Camp Barachah (faith based adventure camp with Carter and Ethan) DONE; Camping at Lake Chelan with John Knox (my church) DONE; Gymnastics camp with Mia since she was tired of trying to teach Mason and Nolan a cartwheel (which they still can't do but I still can since they double dared me on the last day of camp) DONE; Summer Adventures Started; Nordstrom Anniversary Sale DONE; Donna's Cabin in Plain DONE; and then there was Camping on Lopez Island.  Grant and I have not been to Lopez Island in AGES.  The last time we went was before kids when everyone else had them and we had no plans on New Year's Eve.  Oddly, or should I say sleepily, neither did Lopez Island.  This camping trip was a reunion of people Grant worked with when his old company was RETEC.  WOW, there were people there that I had never met and people there that I meet 20 years ago.  How fun - really, I had so much fun.  But, as with anything when you do not see people for a long time, they ask, "And, how are you?  You look great."  Clearly, the bar for looking great is still pretty low since I was wearing my camping gear and didn't wear a stitch of makeup all weekend including the trip over.  I am actually okay if that never changes.  It seems to be working in my favor.  That is when I realized that I had not talked about my cancer in a month.  Sure, I have seen my oncologist, but we really don't talk about it, just my blood, when I need to come in again, when to remind him to order my scan, etc. And I know Grant I and say things like, "Well, do you think you can coach two soccer teams again?  If I get through my scan in August, I will be good.  But remember last time, that didn't work out and life stunk."  So, I know it comes up, but it is such a task oriented thing now.  Of course, I told each person that asked that I was doing well.  In addition, the person I have been going to chemo with was on this camping trip.  She is doing so well, and we will be going to the last chemo session for her on Thursday.  She will then be done with chemo.  (Now, by her calculations she will not be done until after the following Tuesday when she starts to feel better.  I can give her that.)  Thank Goodness.  She has been a rock star, stead fast, and she wears hats BEAUTIFULLY.  Towards the end of the weekend, people started talking to me about going with her and how good it was for her and for me to do it.  Now, please do not get me wrong, I appreciate that and I acknowledge that it may look like that to someone that has not done it.  But here is the deal.....that is the way it is done.  Pure and simple.  When cancer shows up on the doorstep, people come out of the woodwork and help you.  I have never been alone.  NEVER.  For example, are you aware that I have menu options from more than I can count of certain food contributors?  Yes.  I actually get to choose my food.  Do you know that Sarah, who does the food calendar, has actually been told that they are upset for not getting on the calendar enough?  Do you know that I have filled my freezer four times with premade dinners for six months through donations?  Do you know that Elaine Miller has been to over 80 chemo appointments and only misses them if she is out of the area?  Do you know that she is the one that believed I was having an allergic reaction before anyone else when I stopped breathing during chemo all those years ago? Do you know that Karissa has had the WORST JOB ever for six years and is mad when she can't take me to disconnect?  Do you know that my kids know my parents house better than I do?  Do you know that my neighborhood knows every time I am in chemo just by the pattern of cars in the driveway?  Do you know that my dentist has not only waved every cancellation penalty but offered free treatment to me when I lost dental?  Do you know who many billing people have gone to bat for me?  Do you know how many docs call me directly without an appointment?  Do you know how many emails addresses I have for my doctors - I am talking DIRECT...that is unheard of.  And, do you know that I have raised just under $10,000 for the American Cancer Society because of all of you?  Yeah.  With cancer, you are not alone and either is she.  I have been honored to be with her at her treatments, enjoyed doing big lunches before she goes so that I know she is full of whatever she wants, and I will forever be there for her 24 hours a day/7 days a week.  She is in my house now as I am in so many others.  So, there, I get to sleep tonight.  Happy Tuesday, Ang

A friend of mine asked me for a favor

She asked me to write down the things that make is tolerable to get through the summer and not damage your children.  As I always ask for advice from people with older children, she thought that I would be the one to ask.  I thought about it and thought about it.  I decided that before I give her advice, I should test my "new and improved" plan out.  So, I am on Day 4 and feel that I have a reasonable handle on this.......(imagine evil laugh).....  Let's review: The summer started with early dismissal and happiness for all the kids (emphasis on KIDS).  Thursday, the day after, was a tag team of people helping other people out because no childcare was open.  Friday, a bit of the same.  Before the boys and I started on this adventure, I said, "We are going to do Mr. Regnart's Reading Challenge and you will read two books every morning and write about them BEFORE iPod or TV.  In addition, you will do 8 pages and 6 pages of activities everyday BEFORE iPod or TV.  It worked and is still working HOWEVER Mason does 4 pages (supposed to be 8) and Nolan does 3 pages (supposed to be 6) and their reading is barely on track.  Nolan, of course, is on track because even though he is a BEGINNING reader somehow he read the bottom of the library form and understood that the Library challenge started June 1st and he retroactivated ALL of his reading.  Oh, and did I tell you that, all the homework is done in my bed.....while I am in it!  Swimming Lessons started this week.  They are everyday at 10am for two weeks.  We have never done this pattern and we have never focused on swimming.  Our big goal is that they are comfortable in the water and can live.  Thus, we have spent I think millions of dollars on swim lessons and know all the strokes, breathing etc., but we look hideous doing them.  So, now that we are part of a swim club with a swim team, they are like, "Wow, interesting, and oddly effective, but let's try this....."  Whatever - I am fine with it.  I have never cared if they love swimming, I am not looking for Olympic athletes in swimming, etc., HOWEVER, this became a big issue to them today because we saw some friends from school.  Actually one of Mason greatest friends, and I learned that she is in Y5 level.  We are in Y2.  So, in the truck on the way home, I said, "Hey Mason, we are not switching to 11 o'clock because we would not be in Alexis' class anyway.  She is in Y5."  Mason replies with, "Why is she in Y5?'  "I don't know, but her Dad mentioned that they started at Federal Way and they were REALLY particular is stroke."  "Why am I not in Y5?"  "I don't know, we went to the Y and I never really worried about it."  "Why........."  And that was it.  SERIOUSLY?!??!?!?!?!  A tolerable summer exactly lasted three and one quarter days.  I lost it.  "Mason, are you kidding?  Can't we just be happy that she is a good swimmer?  Are you kidding me?  Should we walk up to her and say, 'Hey, I bet I could kick your butt at hockey cause I am pretty sure she doesn't play.  Oh, and then there is skiing!  You and Nolan ski better than I did at 18 years old.  Let's talk to her about that and say, Eat my powder!  Should we do that?"  "No!", they both cried.  In my mind I was saying to myself, "Hey, my Mom is way better at cancer treatment than your Mom, so SUCK IT!"  I know....I am also proud it did not come out of my mouth.   Conversation over.  We are sticking to Y2, and we are happy for Alexis that she is in Y5.  NOT OPTIONAL.  Mason and Nolan are going to Champions (childcare) tomorrow and Thursday after swimming.  So, here is what I have to say to my dear friend, "Put them in camp and childcare enough that you can stay sane. Let go that you have things that you want to do.  Let go that you think you should have it all.  Be real and be forgiving (to yourself also) because this gig is tough and being there to nip crap like the above in the bud is actually important.   Don't get me wrong - I appreciate my time and being the one doing all of this.  I am one of the only ones NOT on their phone during lesson because I want to see them every minute (and I still have a dumb phone), but still parenting....it sneaks up on you and at the oddest moment demands you to perform....io...rough gig.  Sorry for failing you, Ang

Thank you and tonight.....

First, a huge thank you for everyone that donated to the Royal Runner Relay for Life.  Stewart and his team WAY exceeded their goal and I am, again, so proud of them!  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  I was there during the luminary ceremony.  If you have ever been, it is pretty powerful.  I met my girlfriend at 9:30 and walked with her, but for my team, until 10.  I got home at 11:30.  In the front of my mind, were all my friends and family that I have won, and lost, the battle of cancer.  Yes, Bob too.

Anyway, on to other things....life continues on and I am amazed at how many people know that I am the next PTA President  and on Leadership Team with NO OFFICIAL announcement.  Followed by, I am not the President until 7/1, but that has not stopped anyone from telling me their opinions about "stuff".  Don't get me wrong, but I am happy at my school and feel that it is really well run....and sometimes those can be the most interesting of creatures.  Luckily, I was raised the way I was, and I had a lot of experience with "lay in the weeds and wait", "see which way the wind blows", and "if a train kills you on the tracks, you should have heard the train".  If this is what it is like BEFORE 7/1, can't wait until after!

ANYHOO.....today was the last day of school for my boys.  And Mia was in the mix today as it is Wednesday.  We left school, horns honking, people waving, a general party.  All the windows down in the Explorer and the window in the back up for the kids to wave to all of their friends.  (I do have an approved third row in the Explorer with approved seat belts for those 8 to 12.  I haven't COMPLETELY lost my mind!)  Got home, made lunch, ate lunch, and two our the three kids wanted to read their report cards.  Nolan had the best one, but let's remember, it is Kindergarten.  How hard is that?  He did have 72 sight words, but come on!  But seriously, he did great.  His teacher was PERFECT for him and she has the BEST way of phasing things.  Listen to this:  The First Semester she said, "Nolan is a hard working and focused student.  He is a pleasure to have and is well liked by his peers.  He is respectful and follows rules well.  As he grows in school, I would like to see him become more of a self-manager and become less concerned about managing the behaviors of his classmates."  Can you say, "Mind your own bees wax!"  Second Semester was this, "Nolan has shown some growth in regards to self-management however still needs to work on this skill a bit.  He also enjoys challenging authority and finding gaps and loop holes in directions and requests that he is given.  This is an impressive skill at his age, however he'll need to learn how to manage it and determine when it is OK and appropriate to use it.  He is a hard working and bright student who will continue to do very well in school."  I am saying, "A bit?, ya think?, how the heck do I fix that?, DAMN she is really good!"  Wow, I hope he gets someone that can read him like she could in the first grade.  Then Mia....so proud of her.  Her grades went up almost in every subject and her progress in reading was amazing.  She worked hard and sometimes she hated it, but she still did it.  Well done.  Mason wasn't willing to share his grades.  They were good, but lately he has struggled with talking too much in class and putting excessive work in his artwork and not finishing assignments.  The talking, well, he comes by that naturally.  Every comment I got in school was, "Pleasure to have in class; talks excessively in class."  What can I say, it is in his blood.  All of us tried to reassure him, but he was steadfast.  I have always told them we are a team and we help each other with our weaknesses by using our strengths.  Mason could not go there.  Hopefully he will learn to trust the group.  This has been the first time he has struggled with something.  I think Mia will get him through it.  Nolan is still on "I am perfect, except for that minor annoying behavior of challenging EVERYTHING.  Oh, is that ANNOYING?"  So, then they played to their hearts content.  Mason's class CD playing in the loft while he is doing is Lego.  Mia and Nolan coming up with games and chasing each other around the house,  and me doing Box Tops.  At 6:00, they walked Mia home and then stayed for tomato watering instructions and games with Mia's Dad.  Dinner, shower, prayers, plans for tomorrow, and then bed.  Grant has hockey tonight so they begged to sleep with me.  I said okay, but I wasn't going to bed yet.  The ran to the bed and while I folded laundry, I listened to them sing, "Sunshine".  I sang that to both of them went they were little, or now when they are upset or sick, but I learned a different last line when I visited Laurie YEARS ago when Duncan was a baby. Instead of, "Please don't take my sunshine away" you put in, "And I love you more everyday."  I like it better.  They sang themselves to sleep and, as I finished folding, I paused in my thankful moment of the craziness of PTA, washing lunchboxes, Grant going to hockey, and life...without cancer.  I take my friend tomorrow for her second of four cancer treatments.  Half way there, and a lifetime to go.  Happy Summer, Ang

More Birthdays....

Life is going fast these days.  The kids are ready to get out of school, Nolan understands Peter "the pan" likes being with other pans at night, and I have a birthday on Sunday.  I always get, not melancholy, but very pensive during this time.  My after my birthday in 2007, I started chemo for the first time.  In 2008, I was at the Kent Relay for Life, recently in remission, and walking with Bob.  It was the last time I would see him.  On my 2009 birthday, the nurses pulled the last chest tube from me after bilateral lung surgery.  (I can still feel that.  It takes your breath away.)  In 2010, I celebrated my birthday in remission.  In 2011, I was finishing up chemo right after my butt surgery and in 2012, I was back in chemo.  Today, I am in complete remission.  The American Cancer Society's pitch is "More Birthdays".  I have a special fondness for the Relays.  I have been honored in so many and my list of luminaries gets longer every year.  However, Kent is probably the most special.  This year, like last year, my girlfriend's son, Stewart, is leading the "Royal Runners" Relay Team at the Kent Relay for Life.  He is waging an uphill battle as Prom was scheduled on the same Friday night.  So, he is working with half of his team and missing his own senior prom, but still going strong!  His Mom is even baking and frosting sugar cookies for student fundraisers (I get one with Brown Frosting - cool right?!?!?!).  Quite a team!  If you click on the link, you will see me in the picture from last year. I am going to be giving $50 dollars to this relay and I am asking you to give what you can.  $1000 is made up of 50 $20 donations.  Tomorrow, Thursday, I will be at the cancer center helping a friend of over 20 years get through her first chemotherapy.   She needs more birthdays also.  Friday is the Relay and I would love to see him reach his goal of $1500...please donate for all of those who have fought, waged, won, and lost, to cancer.  Here is the link...  

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?fr_id=50625&pg=team&team_id=1316507

Thank you, Ang

P.S. I did my donation under Stewart's name and for some reason my name is Klarno?!?!?!  Can I still blame chemo?!?!?!?!

Peter "the Pan" and my scan results

Get it?!?!?  He is naming his pan now!  Oh and my scan was CLEAR!!!  Frickin' A I am FINALLY on my way!

A boy and his pan

Nolan has always loved to be in the kitchen.  His first blisters were when he was old enough to stand at the stove and I was make a pot of pasta sauce and he tried to look inside grabbing the side with both hands.  Doesn't matter how many times you tell them, but once they burn their hands, it don't happen again.  Well, for the past two weeks, I have had to watch the Bialetti Aeternum video on the Bed Bath and Beyond website.  It is ceramic cookware.  Finally Nolan insisted on buying it.  I told him he could not buy a set.  He protested, so we went to the store and he got to feel all the pans.  Clearly, the 8" fry pan was the only one he could hold with one hand (his requirement).  "Do you have a coupon?"  Why do they ask me these things?  I said, "Use this one, it is the best for this purchase."  He read the directions with Dad and "made" lunch.  Pasta with Peas.  The pasta was already cooked so it was about cooking frozen peas in A LOT of butter and adding pasta.  Dare I say, but it was good.  Usually we add LOTS salt.  For dessert, he topped sauteed marshmallows with cinnamon sugar over ice cream.  When he wanted to do cookies, I said, "Sweetie, you can't bake with that pan."  His response was a firm, "That's a bummer."  I have to say it has been a good distraction for me...scan is tomorrow and I have been a little on edge.  He slept with it last night and

I have to bring the pan to school to show his teacher this afternoon.......so, my question is, when do I send him to therapy?!?!?!?!?!  Happy Monday, Ang

The Amazing Remodel

Have you ever watched the "Amazing Race"?  At the end they say, "Twenty nine days, 17 countries,.......you have won the Amazing Race!"  So.....49 days, six subcontractors, five LARGE checks, 52 decision, five additional work authorizations......you are the winner of a NEW LOFT AND SECOND BATH!"  We are home.......Mia - thanks for the Welcome Home sign on the garage!

First, thank you for all your wonderful comments.  Apparently, living with my parents 20 minutes from school, two parent surgeries, one remodel, one spring break, and getting elected to Co-President of the PTA keeps one busy.  In addition, I did not have easy access to a computer with a REAL keyboard and I am not talented enough to do it all with one finger on the iPad!

I could blog about the last seven weeks for about 52 pages, but I someone (probably God) blocked direct access to a real keyboard to save you, the reader.  So, I will give you the highlights.  Spring Break - Grant, I and the boys went to San Diego.  We have learned we need to get to sun during the nine month blah period in Seattle, so when I saw that we had a Spring Break, I bought tickets to San Diego.  We had rough plans, but nothing we couldn't change.  Here is how it went:  Landed in Long Beach, got our car, went to Anaheim for two nights.  The idea here was to go to California Adventure to see Cars Land.  We arrived late on Sunday night, there was a McDonald's next to the hotel that was RIGHT across the street from the Disneyland Gate.  Check in, get food, bathe, fall asleep.  BTW- my kids are snobs.  They went in the room and said, "This is where we are staying?!?!?!?  Isn't it a little small?!?!?!"  Over "dinner" we explained to them that this was a great place since we were staying in the room for about 16 hours and that MOST people would be happy for it.  It was a clean room with comfortable beds, a very nice pool, free breakfast, right across the street from the gate!  (Since Mason and Nolan were born we have always stayed in the Resort because of my energy, proximity, naps, etc.....that CLEARLY must change.)  Mason and Nolan just looked at us and Nolan said, "Is the room in San Diego better?"  Grant and I rolled our eyes and changed the subject.  California Adventure was amazing and a very cool thing happened.  We went over to the "Soarin' over California" ride to get a fast pass.  The Fast Pass time was smack during the parade.  Since we only had one day, we had to choose - Parade or Soarin'.  While we were standing there discussing it, a worker approached us and asked how many were in our party.  We looked at her like, "Whaaa?"  She said, "Your son just helped me out and here at the Resort we like to reward that behavior, so I was wondering if you want to go on this ride right now?"  "YES!  Wow, thank you!"  I look at Mason assuming it was him and he smiled, but the worker corrects me, "No, it was this one."  Nolan?  Are you kidding?  Okay, REALLY disturbing that I looked at Mason and he was willing to take credit - note to self!  Nolan basked in the glory of it all and, really, he deserved it.  We didn't have to choose and we got to see everything because of a little kind thing he did.  I knew he had it in him, I just was not aware he was openly sharing it with others.  San Diego was awesome.  The hotel provided free full breakfast (including waffles) and dinner which included ice cream.  The boys were thrilled!  Hotel accepted.  Legoland, Seaworld, the Beach, but the most surprising thing we did was the USS Midway.  I had NO idea that it would be so much fun for the family.  We did the Family Audio Tour and the boys filled out their "Wings Certificate".  We had lunch there.  They serve beer - BONUS!  We practically shut the place down - not the bar.  Before our flight back, we saw some friends we had not seen in over ten years.  Nice visit and then off to the airport, where our flight was delayed.  OMG - people are bizarre.  So, there was something wrong with the plane and customers started demanding to know what like they could help out.  Grant and I were like, "We would like the ENTIRE plane working, fixed by people who know what they are doing, so we will happily wait."  Others immediately got on the phone or computer looking for other flights.  One person was on the phone saying everyone at the airport was "freaking out".  If her definition of 'everyone' is her, then yes, that was a valid statement.  The flight was an hour and a half late.  BIG DEAL.  San Diego - one of our best vacations yet.  Then back home, well, Grandma and Grandpa's house.  The boys were getting tired of being away.  Grant was getting tired of being split.  I was just tired....then Grant picked up my prescriptions and they forgot to give me my hormone.  I was out of my hormones.  See, I take three prescription regularly and an anti anxiety sometimes.  The first is my blood thinner - two preloaded shots everyday; morning and night.  Long term chemo leads to blood thickening.  The other two are a "cocktail" because as you may remember I was VERY sad about two years ago, saw the cancer psychiatrist  and she came up with a combination of hormone and anti-depressant.  Her explanation was chemo has killed all of my hormones and long term effect of chemo on the brain just is not studied and documented yet.  I think that is because we are SUPPOSED TO DIE. :)  It was Friday.  Pharmacy is closed until Monday.  I missed Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and finally took them on Monday night.  I thought I would be fine.  I was FAR from fine.  And then I got the flu.  Further from fine.  I was a mess.  Two sleepless night, more crying than I can tell you, a husband that would hold me even when I didn't want to be held, and 8 lbs later, I was on the mend.  I am not EVER going without those again and Grant will never make that mistake again.  Poor man.  Last highlight....when you go back to your parents house, you remember things.....like my Dad clipping my nails as a kid.  OUCH!  I used that so much with the boys that when Nolan and I were talked about fears he said, "I know your biggest childhood fear - GRANDPA CLIPPING YOUR NAILS!"

Since we have been home, we are moving back in...hanging pictures, shuffling, redecorating  which will continue into this weekend and next week.  All I do is try to have one more room NOT look like a bomb went off in it.  It is slowly coming together.  I am sleeping like a baby again.  My boys are sleeping better too.  Our smell is coming back to the house which is neater than you think.  The windows have been open this week and the lilac is blooming right next to the window.  I saw Shelly (cancer buddy) who I haven't seen in MONTHS as I was going to acupuncture and when we realized it was each other, we hugged like we had come back from war.  Which we have.....  And with my life on pause for the remodel and taking care of my folks, I return to my life and my cancer and my scans.  Saw Hank on Tuesday; scan on the 21st.  Exhale, pause, breathe   I am home.  Happy Friday and to all the Mother's our there - Happy Mother's Day!  Love, Ang

Questions of life(?)

My Mom is home and doing very well.  I on the other hand have some questions....

When my Mom was gone, I did all the cooking and still will until she is back to eating solids which could be a few weeks.  So, why is it when people get older that they label and wrapped things in the freezer that it literally take 20 more mins to cook because of the layers of Saran Wrap, ziploc bags, rubber bands, and tape OR it is just throw in the freezer with nothing.  Consequently, Chicken Enchiladas took 1 hour longer just to get the chicken unwrapped and we ate spaghetti with TERIYAKI meatballs.  At least, Mason loved it.

While I was visiting my house, my neighbor was in there and said to me, "This all makes cancer look easy doesn't it?!?!?  At least there are support groups for that."  I nodded in agreement and thought, "Where is the support group for the mom of a relocated family due to remodel with aging parents in and out of doctor appointments who has worn her yoga pants (that have never seen a class) inside out for three days and just realized that she had gummy bears for lunch - her only meal of the day?"

And lastly, why did my Dad call me while he was waiting at home for the washing machine repairman when I am getting Mom discharged from the hospital to say, "Are you going to have enough time to get her, drop her off, and get your kids from school?"  What I wanted to say was, "I think so, but how is you calling me in this moment helping me?"  or "OMG, I have kids!?!?!  Thanks for the reminder!"  I didn't, but I must have said something because a hospital employee immediately asked if I could be helped and she, bless her heart, took me to the pharmacy and to the parking garage.  In hind sight, I understand he was trying to help, but you know.  He did sincerely thank me for all the help today which made we feel good that I didn't go with first response.

WHEW.  But, in the end with all the stress, craziness, and choas, it still beats cancer, but does make real life look pretty challenging!  Happy Wednesday, Ang

Two Wins Today

Today I woke up with Hannah's butt (my cat) in my face at 3am.  I got up at 4am to get ready to take my Mom to the hospital with my Dad.  At 7:15 I say, "See you later!" to my Mom, find food and coffee, sit at the hospital until my Dad gets back from him radiation appointment, go to to parents, see the remanence of Grant leaving the casita (parent's guest house) with the boys, shower, and go to an appointment with a friend that for the past few months has caused her bowel issues and 15 lbs of weight loss.   On the way, I get a call from Dad.  Mom did great.  Surgery went without a hitch.  Win.  The appointment with my friend was great also.  Her blood pressure was normal which it hasn't been in weeks, anxiety gone, and by the end, even though we have a lot of tests to do he said, "You know, I have to tell you.  I don't believe this is going to be life threatening."  EXHALE.  Win.  As I was working with the kids tonight, I had to go to the casita for something.  As I was walking, a breeze hit my face and it was warm.  I looked up and saw the cherry blossoms starting to bloom and I ever so slightly smelled spring.  Today, although exhausted emotionally and physically, was good day.  Win. Win.  Thank God.  Happy Monday, Ang

Real Life and Remodeling

So, some of you, well maybe most of you knew that Grant and were going to do a remodel on our bathroom and our boys bathrooms upstairs; however, our line of credit was pulled and that project went away.  See, I was at a point then of, "Hey, I should just spend all my Life Insurance money now, since I am going to die and get a bathroom that I love."  I know the logic of letting life insurance pay off the mortgage and line of credit is a bad idea, but cancer is illogical, so I was going with it.  Well, Grant's company did well last year and we have saved enough money to do the project that we really needed - a loft for all the boys stuff.  Right before Nolan was born, Grant was itchin' to move.  I said, "No!  We are having a baby!"  Right after Nolan was born, Grant was itchin' to move and start a company.  I said choose.  Clearly, you know the choice.  And, as he worked in our house asking me to keep the boys quiet - really, they are 1 and 3? - I thought, "I wish we picked the house..."  But all those days are long gone.  CRETE has been started, Grant is happier than he has ever been, I am in remission, and we got enough money together to get our loft and work on the boys bathroom.  Our bathroom will wait again.  Amazing how priorities can radically change when you believe that you are not dying.  The project started Thursday morning.  I was advised that I could not live in the house.  I asked my parents to live with them at the compound (their place).  My plan was to leave the house at 7:45, stop by my contractors office to pick up some countertop samples, drop the kitties off at my parents guest house, and go to bible study.  WELL.....clearly, my life is not my own any more.  Sound familiar?!?!?!  Cancer controls me, and now this.  Anyhoo, my contractor, whom I adore, had me in a "handing off the baton meeting" (What the heck?) and I was there until 10.  So, much for Bible Study and have you ever seen the faces of two cats that have been left in a car for two hours.  I was actually a little afraid of them.  The meeting was good and needed to happen.  I learned things that they were going to do that I was like, "AWESOME!" and then, "Yeah, no we need to paint the ceiling cause Grant and I do not do that anymore."  I got to my parents place hungry with tons of stuff to do (picking out flooring, appointment for cabinets, paint decisions, etc. etc. etc.) with two pissed off cats.  Mom took me to lunch because she wanted to try the Doritos Taco at Taco Bell.  I was like, "Hey, Cheryl will be thrilled, but I need to order it al fresco!"  I rested in the afternoon, picked up the kids, did the evening routine, and went to they casita (guest house) to collapse only to get sucked into HGTV because we don't get that channel and stayed up way too late.  The cats decided they were fine around 4am and were racing around the house because I sprayed catnip on their toys before we left.  Rethinking if that was a good idea, I was up watching HGTV AGAIN.  It is a sickness. I then slept through the alarm, raced out of bed, in the shower, should have washed my hair, but I thought, "No, it gets curlier with oil and dirt right?"  (It does.   Wow, I am going to exploit that!)  Run over to the main house, get the boys, Mom hands me a latte and off to childcare because I am meeting with two people - Gary, the flooring guy, and Roger, the cabinet guy.  Meet with Gary.  Pick out hardwood, vinyl, and even granite from the bone pile out back.  Meeting with Roger and discover that he cannot get a the cabinet in on time.  Go to the house to talk to Russ who is running the job.  Find out that we found water damage from the boys bathroom in the wall that it shared with the living room.  FABULOUS.  Review the entry to the loft, and we look at each other like, "What do the plans say?!?!?!"  Do the logical thing, but it takes Russ explaining it to me three times for me to get it cause apparently, I am slow.  Let's be clear, he did not say that, I did.  Turn off the furnace because is has such a draw it pulls the plastic off.  Okay, we are done.  Starving, my Mom and I go to a restaurant and I get a beer.  Go back to the house, shop for other cabinets online, watch HGTV while I am doing it, and try to get over my exhaustion of it all.  I make the call about open the wall for the water damage because I can't get a hold of Grant.  Whew, today is over.  Real life and remodeling is a challenge!  Happy Friday, Ang