Friday, June 22, 2007

My "Spot(s)"

When this first happened, people didn't know what to do for me, so they sent me stuff. I felt a little like Princess Diana because the porch was filled with flowers, donuts, food, cards, and packages. The mail had more cards than bills and junk mail. My email box was overflowing. I was having trouble dealing with the diagnosis and my feelings so I turned to a trusted friend. My friend told me that I needed a spot in the house that I could have to feel my feelings, put my things, etc. You know, isolate it to one area so that I could focus, feel, release, etc. I agreed and I told her that I would make a spot. When asked about the progress, I told her I was in the process of making my spot. By the third inquiry, she knew I hadn't made anything. And, then, there she was on my porch with a mission - MAKE SPOT! She took more time than I know she had and helped me. We placed special things there for me to process, feel, and release. Then, she sat there with me for a bit. Those moments meant the world to me. I had my spot. The first night it worked so well when I woke up and couldn't sleep the sheer thought of getting up and going to my spot made me so tired I went back to sleep. WOW - that is WAY effective! Okay, fast forward a few weeks. Now, my spot is filled with wonderful things, sayings, tokens, T-shirts that say "My mommy is a superhero" and "Stronger than Cancer", and candles. There are a few items that haven't made it to the spot....chocolate (not enough time before it is consumed) and three rubber ducks (interesting choice of gifts - Mason took those.) I now also have another spot. It is for all the cards and notes I get. It is in my entry of my house. I call it my power spot. I just look at all the cards and realize that I have so much support that I feel empowered to get through the day. It is the last thing I see when I leave the house and the first thing I see when I get home. I pass by it several times a day. It does move or faulter, it only gets bigger and I thank all of you for that. I wouldn't have the power spot without you.....

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I reccomend you put a bottle of Jack Daniels old number seven sippin whiskey in your favorite spot. Perhaps you have heard the bad news, the famous spring from which they get the water for their whiskey has gone dry. If that isn't a sign of global warming I dont know what is, and it happened in Tennessee Al Gore's home state. In fact it could have been the precipitating event that caused him to make that movie "An Inconvienent Truth".I am glad you have gotten those little nests of comfort in your house, great idea!
love always, pat&maggie

Kari said...

You are so inspiring to me, Ang. You are darned funny as well. You make me laugh. Your "spots" are a great place for you. Everyone loves you! I want to make plans to go to Hawaii with you...so when shall we go?

Kari

Anonymous said...

I have often thought about the tree that is outside your window and how you picked that special "spot" so you could gaze at that tree. I believe this tree serves as a mirror image of you. It is a reminder of the vibrancy of you life force.

I imagine you to be a very mature and strong tree. You have weathered many storms. You have deep roots that provide you nourishment during drought and a strong hold when the winds are at gale force. You have many branches that symbolize your vast array of family and friends (extended family). You have branches full of life as your leaves take full advantage of the sun and the rain.

You are beautiful and take one's breath away.

I think about the many trees I've seen that had been struck by lightening or ravaged by storms and how they survive...how life re-emerges.

You are calm. You are still. Yet is this calmness and stillness you are most fully alive.

Anonymous said...

Angela, It’s Matt! You know I have never been at a loss for words – well –until Beth called me. You are one of the strongest people I know and you will beat this. I love you and am praying my heart out for YOU, Grant, your boys and all these wonderful people all around you (the Blog is a great idea). I’ll keep checking in. I am not at SCH anymore (YES!) so my home email is boswell90@comcast.net if you need anything.