Sunday, July 3, 2016

Happy Birthday Lara....

This is a post to people you meet along the of them Lara Hosford Castillo.  I got a text a couple days ago that said, "Hey, I am having some friends over on Saturday 2:30.  Would love to have your family stop by."  I am like, "Sure! What can I bring??!"  "Your beautiful face."  Okay, right?!?!?!  I can do that since my face pretty much goes where I go.....OKAY!  I did not know it was her birthday BECAUSE I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON.  I did not know I should bring anything, but I did bring wine BECAUSE I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON.  And I show up with my crew with no present, so nothing, but a bottle of wine and say, "It is your birthday?!?!!" because.....remember.....I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON.  But here is what I love......Lara and I met at a breakfast YEARS ago.  We went because it was the first day of school.  Then some moms went to a movie, but Lara was seated across for me at breakfast.  My cancer came up and Lara, confused at all get out was like, "So, you okay?!?!....So, I do not get this, you okay?!?!?!"....."So, this sounds okay?!?!"  I finally looked at her and said, "Laura (I didn't know it was Lara), I am as okay as I will ever be.....I am terminal, so I will die of this but today is good, so I go with it."  And with that she was fine.  Still a little confused, but fine.  Three months later we were walking into a PTA meeting and I said, "Look, you are my kind of girl, and if you will be my Treasurer, I will got for President.  But if you say no, I am out."  She looked at me the same confused that she was when she heard by diagnosis and said, "O-K-A-Y".  And so it was.  A friendship formed not by mutual interest, but by necessity.  I had NO IDEA how much I would grow to love her.  As time went on, we went through some real crap.  She backed me and I backed her.  Never a question, never a doubt.  We were each others rock.  Lara was a person I never doubted and when people said to me, "She is a real stickler."  I was like, "That is why I chose her."".  We never, and I mean never, doubted each other.  You don't come across that often.  And I certainly do not take it for granted.  She adores me and I adore her even when I say, "NOBODY IS GOING TO NEELY!!!!"  She and Sonia will get that.  Even when I am I dead fast with my choice and not hers.....she backed me and I backed her.  I could not have asked for a better copadre.  One day our first year, when we were setting the boat straight, she came to my house and gave me a gift certificate to Red Robin.  She hugged me a cried and said, "You do too much.  I want you to take care of yourself.  Please just go to dinner and then on vacation and REST."  I do not take direction from many, but we went to Red Robin that night and it was an amazing start to our vacation. Poor girl,  I loved her so much, I invited myself to her lie....her WEDDING.  I was like, "I just want to come, and go, but I fly out that day and I promise not to be a bother....."  What it turned into was I was the Patron getting person (slave)  in the inner sactom and I had a blast with Maurine buying a cute black dress and handing all my clothes to Maurine in a pile.  Yes, there was a ,lot of drinking.  We did not leave the hotel and Maurine got tan and I, just well, burned.  The fact that we did not leave the hotel was weird, but okay under the circumstance, but we did change rooms after being next to the recycle center that runs 24/7.  Long story.....OMG and that was an upgrade.....

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY my friend.  When I left, she said, "You can't get rid of me." and I thought, "THANK GOD."

Happy Sunday, Ang

Friday, July 1, 2016


While I do not compare myself to those that have had horrible war experiences, I do experience moments of PTSD.  I do not look for it, it just happens.  Sometimes, I know it will and I choke it down.  I do so for the better of others and to help them, but sometimes it sneaks up on me in every day life.

On Monday of this week, I was planning on meeting my aunt at her cabin.  It is in Plain, Wa.  She has had it since 1992.  Longer than I have been married, and the place that Grant can sleep for hours on end.  I packed up the boys and I and we headed out.  This had been planned for a long time.  My Aunt has to schedule her vacation like a bazillion weeks in advance.  What I did not realize is that the last time I was there, ONLY WITH MY AUNT AND THE BOYS, was the weekend I came home and Grant told me I had cancer.  We have been there since, but with different combinations.  Me with Karissa, me with Jane, etc.  No one let me travel by myself.  When I realized it, it was spooky.  Yep.  Spooky.  I was down at the beach at the river with both of my boys.  Last time, Donna had Nolan and he was screaming.  Now, he is swimming in the river, picking up rocks and throwing them into a pile.  The temperature is the same, but it is nine years later.  My baby is grown up.  He is with me from the time that I was so exhausted that I could only take Mason to the river.  The flashbacks come.  Grant telling me.  Me walking away from him.  Disbelief.  Belief.  Pain.  Suffering.  So much suffering.  So much pain.  Chemo.  Radiation.  Surgery.  More surgery.  More Chemo.  Ablation.  More surgery.  And more surgery.  And then, the sound of the river.  The comfort of the new beds in the loft.  Cooking.  Adventures with the boys and my aunt around Leavenworth. many movies....and then the ride home before the 4th of July rush.

And now it is 3:50 in the morning and I am going to bed.  Laundry is almost done.  Dishes clean.  No chemo, surgery, radiation in my near future........what nine years can do......I love the sound of the river.

Happy Friday,