June 3rd - The day after my birthday

So, my birthday came and went with little notice from me. Many people were determined to have me notice it. My bookclub had cake, Bethany brought me cookies and "The Secret", Trina brought me flowers (thanks John) and watched my boys, my mom cooked a wonderful meal, and my aunt came down with a key lime pie (one of my favorites). You may ask how I am doing. Well, I have been better. I wake up at night and wonder if it was all just a bad dream and then I realize I am living the bad dream. I have let the housework go, I don't have the energy to cook, and I cry at the drop of the hat. Although I try to cry in the shower so Mason doesn't see. This literally wasn't suppose to happen to me. I do not fit ANY of the makers for it - not one. The onogologist said, "Never in a million years, would I think this would happen to you." But it did. Okay, so now what? I am positive that I will get through this even though I ask Grant a few times a day, "We will get through this, right?" He always says, "Yes." He is also making me laugh with things like after the fungus discussion with the oncologist, the doctor left and he said, there was a band in the 80's named "Fungus Amungus." Not helpful, but very funny...... Thank God I married him.