Tuesday, March 21, 2017

So, this week.....

One of my boys actually got the top "pay for performance" allowance of $7 for the week.  Not hard....do your homework, do you chore and do whatever is asked of you or maybe even anticipate what is needed. (Yeah, that did not happen.)  The other got $5 - meets standards, but he raked and weeded my garden for $5, so he did well.  You guess which.....

My Dad called me to tell me Dairy Queen was giving away free cones on Monday.  (Donation of $1 required, but I gave more.)  So, proud.  He is also helping us get a free motorbike running, but we did clear his driveway and fix his fence from the "storm".  He was all bitter, "I can do it!!!!!"  "Dad, the boys wanted to help.  You have one tree branch down there still that is too big.  Hack, cut, chainsaw (yikes), to your delight. We just wanted to give you a head start."  "BAA HUMBUG....I can do it...."

Mason called me today totally distraught.  "I got a zero on my library project!"  I am like, "What do you need your trombone, lunch, or track shorts????"  "MOM!  I did everything I thought I was supposed to do and I got a zero....we all did......"  "Mason, what do you need from me?  Just to listen?"  "YES!"  "O-k-a-y."  "Blah blah blah....blah blah blah...blah blah blah."  "Mason, there has to be more to the story, Ms. Thomson is a reasonable woman.  There is NO WAY this is really happening.  Let's talk tonight, okay?  It will be okay.  I promise."  "Okay."  "I love you. Bye."  PAUSE..........I have just taken on all the feelings of my eldest son....No, I love you, thank you for listening, you are the greatest......just, "Okay.  Bye."  I prefer he say, "Yes, mummy, I love you, I understand and I get it.  We will talk later.  Taa taa!"  Maybe in my next life.  BTW - it was fine.  Ms. Thomson is a reasonable woman and Mason will be graded on what he did.  All is well.

My Mom wanted me to buy a 2 quart pot.  What am I going to do with that?  My boys eat a million calories a day.  For example, Mason has breakfast at home, his lunch from me for snack, buys lunch, comes home for snack, has a HUGE dinner, and then dessert.  He is a 12 slim.  I hate him sometimes.  I love my Mom, but sometimes...and then she said, "Well, I got one, so you can have it when I am dead."  LOVELY, that is great to think about....I can't win for losing.....

I was driving through the hood and there was this guy that was on the corner and mildly harassing pedestrians.  I was like, "Aren't you the guy that was naked on the street when I was trying to get Nolan to Soccer Practice?"  PAUSE.  Who says these things?!?!?!

I had to pull a 6th grade girl out of track practice and say, "I do not know what I did, or how I offended you, but seriously?!?!?!  I need you to follow protocol."  Her response, "I just had to go to the bathroom and I have not disrespected you ALL the time, just sometimes."  I looked at her and said, "Well, thanks for giving me sometimes, at least you are giving me that,  and tell me when you go to the restroom because at the track meet the bathroom is outside the gates and I am responsible for you.  There is no way I could tell your parents or guardians I lost you....do you get that?" Pause. "Yes."  "So, please?"  "Yes."  "Thank you.  Now, lets get back to fun...."  "Okay."  Frick.  Really?!?!!? The part that slays me is she is so talented...

And that doesn't even touch the school issues for next year...which THIS WEEK look better!

Happy Tuesday, Ang




Thursday, March 9, 2017

Maybe I was too effective.....

Today Nolan did not go to school, but he sent his homework with Mason and sent a message to his teacher about not being able to rhyme "loose".  I tried to help, but he would have none of it.  " Ms. Take will help me."  He then panicked and said, "I can't miss track - I will get a strike!", and he tried to go to school.  I explained I was sure it was about unexcused absences, but he didn't believe me until his Coach emailed me "clarifying the policy."  OMG.  "I am not suppose to bother you or your schedule.....I am suppose to handle my own things".  He looked at me with his crazy hair and I said, "Not today."  Later, I go in and he says he is feeling a little better because he knows he won't get a strike.  As I leave the room he says, "I think I will dust later."  I trail off with, "Vacuuming would be better. "  "Okay."  I want to say, "Dude you are 10, and you are not feeling well", but I don't.  He is trying to be a man and I need to let him.  I may be forced to get him email and a phone to manage his life sooner than later though.....JEEZ....

On a side note....I was on a field trip for a strand band rehearsal this week where we shared a bus with another school.  That was interesting.  We were on time, they took forever to load, making my kids wait on the bus for 35 mins - there was only nine of them, and they made of late to the rehearsal.  My kids only had one hiccup and that was because of all the waiting on a bus.  We were perfect at the practice and when we returned and they left, I said, "Bye, it was nice sharing a bus with you."  The other kids said bye also.  When they COMPLETELY ignored us, we got a little silly like, "O-k-a-y... Bye."  And then it was over......until.....  We were pulling out and one of the nine flipped us off and LAUGHED hysterically.  I was like (in my head), "Oh, hell no!"  I yelled at the bus driver, "PLEASE STOP THE BUS."  "Yes, ma'am."  And I ran - and I mean ran off the bus (coaching track is helping!) and yelled, "EXCUSE ME!!!!!!"  Things were said, like, "That was inappropriate and, really, you are not aware when you flip people off!?!?!  What is your name?  You will never do that to my kids again."  I looked to the chaperone (who told me earlier that he enjoys going with these kids because they are not problem kids), "Are you going to handle this or should I?!?!"  I returned to the bus and said, "Thank you."  He smiled and said, "ANYTIME!"  My kids were fine, quiet and on their phones because they earned that.  When I got home, I apologized to Mason and he said, "Do not worry Mom.  All they said was, 'No one get away with anything.  Mason how do you do it?!?!'"  At the concert that night I told our teacher about it in case our kids brought it up, and they were already aware of it.  "We will handle it."  I replied, "Oh, it is handled and he is probably scared for life."  

And they keep calling me for field trips.......  

Happy Thursday, Ang

Sunday, March 5, 2017

A month later....it hurts me more than it hurts you.....

So, a month later....I have everything I want.  Mason is stable.  I understand what is going on in the classroom.  I am at peace with it.  I am volunteer at the school again.  Friday am in Mason's class and volunteer Track Coach.  The kids are truly awesome with me.  They are kids, but there are sweet. The endearing things that they do that show love are amazing.  How lucky am I?  These are not throw away kids. They are ours, mine, and I do not shy away from the responsibility.  I coach them, I discipline them, I look side-wise at them, and I praise them.  They are flawed and perfect.  They are young and old spirited.  They are mine until graduation, and then I have to let them go.

This weekend I went away with my friends - women I have been scrap booking with for a few years now.  I have done so much.  We stay at this great place in Leavenworth.  Carol feeds us, we take over the entire B&B, Mike takes care of all the big stuff (and breakfast) and makes us eat too much, but it is wonderful, amazing, and comforting.  We scrapbook, walk, talk, drink coffee (and wine) and shop.  What more could a girl want....

So, this weekend, I was sorting photos from my "Pre-Grant" years.  Literally, birth to 23.  I found some 26 year old ones, but I already scrap booked those, so I guess we never really moved into a house and it was never really empty....remember, "she who scrapbooks rules history".  I got rid of all the duplicate and triplicate photos I had.  I figured out the time period by photo shape and date, etc.  Remember the 110?  I realized the gaps and think I know where to get them.  I also pulled apart a scrapbook of all the ribbons I won for track.  I was good at track.  I was going to toss them, but then I thought, "I actually had to win a race to get these."  My boys join a team and get a trophy for "participation".  Those ribbons meant a lot to me.  I went to state in Summer Track and have EVERYTHING and my ribbons......no trophy.  Someday, I will explain it to Mason and Nolan.  The ribbons defined me.

So, Sunday comes.  It snowed all all night on Saturday.  I got up a couple times and checked with my phone flashlight to the screen - yep, still snowing.  I check the passes.  Snoqualmie - chains required unless you have AWD.  Crap.  I have all that, but that is not a good sign.  Grant is scanning the passes - my little weatherman.  I am the driver of two other women.  I take that seriously....I actually like them.  By the time we leave, all is well.  Passes are clear, no restrictions, go NOW.  We do.  I drop them and Mason's Playoff game is at 2:25.  The game before the championship - single elimination.

The plan was that I go by the house because Grant and Mason already are at the rink, pick up Nolan, and come to the game.  My parents would already be there.  What is the saying, "Plans best laid..."

I call Nolan three times at home.  No answer all three times.  I text Grant and ask him if he reminded Nolan to have the phone near him while he was gone.  Response, "No, I just told him to call you if he needed sometime."  GREAT.  I drop off both passengers.  I go through the car wash because the truck was GROSS.  I wipe down the bad parts, I call Nolan again.  No answer. .....pause....So, here is the deal....when we leave Nolan alone which is for SHORT periods of time.....he puts on his headphones and plays on his iPad.  I have complained, "disciplined", and "discussed" this with him more than a few times.  "When you are alone you need to be MORE vigilant, MORE aware, MORE careful."  Apparently, nothing stuck.  So, I stop by home.  I call Nolan's name 20 times.....and come on....my voice carries.  NOTHING.  So, I drop my things, grab the cushions for hockey and go.  I AM DONE.  I arrive at hockey.  My parents are there and they are all happy to see me and say, "Where is Nolan?"  I reply, "At home, I guess.  He is not responding to anything and doesn't care to be part of the family, so I am done."  My parents are dumbfounded.......  Wha?!?!?!  She left him at home?!?!?  REMEMBER....our rink is less than a mile from our house.  My Dad is like, "What?!?!?!  Is he sick?!?!?"  "Nope."  Mom is catching on, but like, "I can go get him."  I responded with, "YOU WILL NOT.  He has chosen not to be here.....he will be there."  Mom replies, "So, you saw him and he is fine."  "NOPE.  And if he is not, I am the worst parent ever, but I am putting my money on headphones and iPad."  Concerned looks from Grandma AND Grandpa and, "You are mean." from Grandpa.  All the while I am thinking, "No, I am just channeling Virginia (his mom) and dealing with YOUR DNA."  Then my phone blows up......Nolan is calling again and again and again and again.  My Mom is like, "Are you going to answer it?"  "NOPE."  And then she looks at me.....she LOVES Nolan and I am like, "I will answer when he is good and scared."  This somewhat relieves her which is a little disturbing, but she was a parent too.  So, I call after his four calls and he says, "Hi Mommy, where are you?!?!" "At the rink."  pause  "Oh.  Are you coming to get me?"  pause  I say, "So, now you are ready to talk to me?!?!?!  I called you four times."  pause  "I didn't hear you."  "Really?!?!?! Have we not discussed this?!?!"  "Yes."  "And what are you suppose to do......yadda yadda yadda....and it all becomes clear that he did not do anything he was suppose to and did everything he wanted to......  "Yeah, well, here is the thing Nolan.  Your responsibility is here... at the rink with your brother and you had so many opportunities to come here that I do not care anymore.  So, get on you bike with your helmet and be here in 10 mins.  NO ONE IS COMING TO GET YOU."  "Okay, Mommy, so you want me to bike?"  "Yes, Nolan.  If you are part of this family and you had three chances to get here and you ignored all of them and now you want to be part of it, GET YOUR HELMET ON, GET YOU LOCK, AND GET HERE.  And, by the way, when your mama calls you, you answer....period....because I can ignore you longer than you think."  "Okay, mama." .....pause.... and part of me died.  My Dad said, "Wow, you are mean."  I did not respond, but I thought you taught me that bears run there young up a tree and walk away.  How hard is that?!??!  I am raising a man, not a boy.  He will lead a family someday, and, hopeful respect his wife and daughters.  I probably will not be around for that, but I must prepare him for that.  God gave me this time - I have to use it.  So, I hold firm.  My mom is supporting me, but worried.  Dad just thinks I am mean and everyone around me probably thinks I am a bitch.  Ten minutes go by and I say to my Mom, "I will go see if he if having problems chaining his bike."  I leave and I meet him in the rink.  He is near tears.  I open my arms.  He shakes his head.  He says hello to grandparents and sits next to me.  And slowly, ever so slowly, we talk.  "I don't think I will use my headphones anymore."  "That sounds good.  I missed cuddling with you."  "I am sorry I missed your call."  "Me too.  I was worried."  "I am sorry."  "Me too baby, I missed you, did you miss me?!?!"  And there is was, the twinkle in his eye.....my Dad's twinkle.....so I tickled him until he said he missed me and we were back.  Later he said, "No more headphones."  And I said, "Thank you."

It hurts me more than it hurts you.....but I have to do it and I know you may be too young.....I am so sorry, but I am raising a man, not a boy.......I only have so much time.....I love you more than you know......

Love, Ang


Friday, February 3, 2017

So, what is life like now?

So, I was at a gathering with PTA members and some of them did not know my "situation".  I told them about my Stage Four Rectal Cancer, but the end game was, "Whatever I plan for my boys, I have to assume it is without me."   Pause.  How does a normal person respond to that?  I am in the worst "catchment" of Kent School District.  Grant and I considered moving, but with the medical bills to the tune of $13000 a year on average, we chose to stay where we were - imagine $1100 dollars going away every month, and getting nothing for it - other than life.  It is easy to say that is great, but harder to pay for.  Grated we built a loft.  The kitchen flooded and we have the kitchen of my dreams, but it is still in the worst line of Kent Schools.  So, I begin to look at options.  If I work for the district, I have a much better chance.  How do I do that with all the medial appointments I have?  Employees get to "get in" in February, where the rest of us have to wait until April, unless we are homeless, then we get whatever we want.  Seriously, they will even transport your child to the last school if you are homeless, but if you have cancer, you have to do all the crap they tell you to, including wait list, etc.  My argument is Mason is homeless.  Where does he have a title to a home?!?!?!!  So, I go on.  I will apply three different ways.  One  in district, one in my catchment, and one out of district.  God help them if they deny me.....I still have a bit a fight left.

Best, Ang

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Never again will I do a scan on Friday the 13th.....

To make a long story short.....everything that could go wrong did.....to the power of 4.  I didn't even get results until this morning......never again.......

Here are the results.  Cyberknife area is fine - looks great - all fried and everything.  Left lung looks great..B-U-T...the the upper right lung now has two watches.  Little spots have grown less than 2mm each.  Not fast - remember the cyberknifed area was 2 cm in three months.  This is less than 2mm in three months.

So, we watch....not the perfect news I wanted, but news that keeps me out of treatment for three more months.  If I string enough along, I could make it into years.....here is to living with cancer.....

Enjoy your weekend,

Ang

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!  Honestly, I was happy to say, "Good rid-ins" to last year!  Everyone I have ask also has said the same thing.......something was not right with 2016.  It was the year of the Monkey in the Chinese Calendar.......cancer has been a Monkey on my back.  Does that count?  I don't know....but enough research.....

Here are the holiday on recap....we went in the trailer (with the truck) to California.  Night one, we ran out of propane and froze our butts off.  Luckily, we had our pony propane tank for BBQing and used that...really?!?!?!!  San Jose, we went to a mall, with a trailer on December 20th.  Sounds crazy, but I forgot the pods to my Nespresso, and now you all get it.  I will do ANYTHING for a good cup of coffee.  Whinchester House, Santa Cruz beaches, the Mystery Spot, Hearst Castle, and then a little beach campground at Carpenteria where we spent Christmas.  Bottle nose dolphins, pozole brewing and Christmas lights run by RVs, 67 degrees and sun, and everyone asking us why we didn't have shoes on.....because it is summer!......Californian's are so spoiled.

I did this trip a few times with my parents.  I saw things I had not seen in 40 years.  I stressed Grant out on Hwy One by tailgating a tourist that got "Vista Point" and slowed down to 30 mph, but did not seem to understand, "It is illegal to have more than five cars behind you....." signs.  We had to do three point turns on the 17 mile drive due to construction.  Totally stressed Grant out.  I was fine.....once both directions stop for you, what is the worry?!?!?!!  lol.  Christmas was laundry, getting groceries and batteries, swimming in the ocean (boys), and our family which of course will need therapy because I made them all cry on Christmas Eve.  Maybe I am a horrible Mom, but I gotta say, I work endlessly to make sure their lives are literally perfect.  And when they say, "I would like my bunk a little wider." or "Well, I like being here, but the trailer is small.  Can we get something bigger to fit us????" or "FRICKING WHATEVER!!!!"  I lost my crap.

But Christmas was perfect.....so maybe it was a win....jury is still out.....which is funny......

My Dad was insistent in December that I schedule a annual meeting with their financial advisers. We booked two meetings and after the first of the year, we agreed on one.  So, I show up in January on my designated Wednesday and Dad is not there.  Mom says, "He got called to jury duty."  WHAT?!?!?!?!  So, I find out he has to show again the next week during the prescheduled financial meeting.  WHAT?!??!?!   "It is my civic duty," he says.  "Dad, you had to fill out a questionnaire to qualify.  Did you do that?" says me.  "Yes, and here is a copy."  he replies.  I look on the questionnaire, "Are you mental competent?"  Answer: Yes.  Sigh.  "So, Dad, how did it go today?" I said.  "I got kicked off for 'beyond a shadow of a doubt'." he replied.  "Really? (Shocker)"  And the conversation went on from there.  "So, when are we meeting with the financial adviser???" he says.  "I have to reschedule with him because of your jury duty...."  I reply.  "Angie, this is important, we need to see him....." he urges.  "Yes, Daddy....I know." and because he knows no better, I do not choke him, I just start all over again and reschedule.

Back to my life.....but I had 11 nights of no medical appointments or thousands of dollars in bills, no confusion, no craziness, and nails.  Yes, I found out you can grow nails.  They, unfortunately are all gone now.  Home has a way of doing that.  But I had eleven days.   I have seen Hank since...first scan since Cyberknife of Friday the 13th....I know, not my choice, but it my Mom's lucky day, so I took it.  Cross your fingers.

Happy Sunday, Ang










Sunday, December 11, 2016

Life happens....

So, I have not posted in a while and I am fine, but life is, well, kicking my butt a little.  Thanksgiving was amazing.  All seemed good.  We made plans with our friends to go to celebrate and their new place in Squim next year - how do you spell that?!??  Our friends are retiring....fork, we are getting old.....  We went to Vancouver to see friends I had not seen in YEARS!  We went to the Fly Over Canada and we went to the German Christmas Market.  We just enjoyed the season.  They cooked AMAZING meals for us and the girls gave up their rooms for us.  The boys had a blast and love the new addition to the family.  I was in love/conflict with the cat all weekend, but that is normal.  Nolan had an allergic reaction to something as we left Vancouver.  We assume sesame seeds.  He was home the next day and at the doctor's office.  "Is this something I need to gradually go back to school with, like 2 hours, 4 hours, 6 hours....."  The Doctor looked and me and I said, "He was adopted.....I mean frozen." with a roll of the eyes. Then, Mason's 12th birthday on the 2nd.  We went to tea with Grandma.  What a treat, but for me, it was two days with kids home and I think there was a late start in there too! Mason's birthday was the 3rd and he had a great time, but he didn't get a piece of his birthday cake which he picked out, I freaked out because of the cost,  learned to bake and made.  So, I made another one on Sunday, the 4th.  He was sick on the 5th.  Grant went to the dentist for a filling on the 6th which he requires Valium and I have to drive him there and back.  Then, I have to have a conversation with him about how we are not going to work by car, train, etc.  Then he zones out, gets sleepy, I take all the car keys, and continue on my day.  Wednesday I go to my parents.....enough said.  Thursday Grant decides that he is going to go back to Toronto to see his Mom.  She had a fall and has not broken anything, but is struggling a bit with the meds and exercise.  Friday is normal but Mason's teacher has given notice and left.  He is now being taught by two e-cert subs.  BTW - Those are not Certified teachers, they are Emergency Certified teachers which means I could do it.  Talk to principal.  Have parents concerned.  Trying to get a unified effort that is PC to go through, but not PC enough to NOT be heard.  I drop Grant at the airport today.  We have the same tone as when we have had all our horrible news......be strong, but kind.....she is not leaving the house, so solutions have to be in the house.......only cry twice, so pick wisely.........be strong.......I love you.  The boys had a sleep over with their friends last night which was great because I got Grant out the door with a good night's sleep.  I then did stuff around the house this morning and went to lunch with them (I know, they take my kids, take them to church, and then feed me lunch....I didn't say I was a good friend), I took Mason to Hobbytown which he bought with his own money a racer drone.  MY FAVORITE.  We came home, started laundry, watched the Seahawks in horror, and I found myself watching Nolan more than anything.  He had seen the combat green figures at the Hobby store, along with the cowboys and Indians.  I bought them YEARS ago and I take them on trips. They are cheap, and classic.  He played in front of the TV with them for the ENTIRE Seahawks game.  His sound effects are amazing.  Semi automatic weapons were used on and by the Indians - FYI.  I loved watching him. I pray for my Mother in law.  I am removing all the distractions and just focusing on my family now.  Life happens.

Love, Ang

Monday, November 14, 2016

All in fair play....

I may have been too hard on Grant about the bathroom......so I will tell you my secret.....so in our cash flow crunch, I have reduced all our spending to necessities....food and gas.  Everything else has to be approved.  Now, I we are not destitute, but haircuts are spaced further out, no candles, make up, etc.  Toys are OUT OF THE QUESTION, etc.  But, there could be a problem in my freezer....  Grant and I have been through these cash flow problems before.  He actually likes it, not from the stand point that he looks forward to it, but that I cook EVERY meal, we stay in a lot.  Life is just simpler.  So, I came home from Fred Meyer and said, "Do we have enough bacon?"  His reply, "Oh, yeah, like until forever."  "Good it was on sale and I was tempted, but I did not get any."  Grant:  "Don't we need to eat what is in there?!?!  Isn't that the point to eat the stash when you do not have money?"  So, I organized the freezer today.  Yeah, wow, bacon until March.  More pork than I remember, mystery steak?, so many turkey kielbasas really so many, and four chickens - but they were on sale (it all was on sale), homemade broth, mystery fruit I am now making into mystery jam, and squash and pesto forever......I may have a problem, but we will have food on the table......a lot of squash I am thinking.....

Happy Monday,

Ang

Sunday, November 13, 2016

My Hank Appt and Grant cleaning the bathroom....

Weird title right?!?!  Well, you will see why....

Had a tough time getting into Hank.  Not because he was booked, but because I did not want to go.  I canceled two appointments.  One on the day of.  I had some lame excuse and she was like, "He can see you whenever you like....."  TRANSLATION....."You need to get your butt in here."  I make an appointment for the next week and say, "I will not cancel this one."  You see Hank is wonderful, but Hank has his ways.....if you are behind in seeing him, mysteriously no other doctor will see you until you go see him.......magic?  I do not know, but I have never hit that status and I do not plan to.  I emailed him and told him what was going on in my head and his response was, "We can talk about it when you come in."  Seriously.  That is a total parent move.  Imagine if you will, "Okay, if you do not want to put your shoes on, which would you choose first - left or right?!?!!?"  FINE.  We have been through this before and I do not have much of a choice.  I remember being on the phone with him when I had to go on blood thinners for lung blood clots and I was like, "I will see him on Thursday....that will be fine."  Apparently, that was not fine.  He got on the phone with me and said I needed to go in that day.....I said, "No, I will be there on Thursday and I am not dead yet, so I should be fine by then."  He said, "You can come in on Thursday, but I need to see you today."  I said, "No."  He said, "I need to see you today and you need to start on the medication today."  I said, "I have been on that before and I am fine.  See you on Thursday."  He said, "But I need to see you today."  I said, "I do not want to go today.  I will go on Thursday."  He said, "As long as Thursday is today, that is fine."  I exhaled and said, "FINE.  BUT I AM WASHING MY HAIR AND I AM NOT SHOWING YOU HOW TO DO THE SHOT.....I KNOW HOW TO DO IT."  "Fine.  See you with clean hair." he replied.  Hank.  Wow.  What do you do with someone like that.  I adore him.  So, I go.  I get my blood work done and I see all my favorite nurses.  It was hard to get into the car, go to the garage, and got to the center.  Once I got there, all I saw were people I loved.  Coincidence?  God thing?  I go, God thing.  He has always been there when I needed him most.  I was so honest with Hank.  "Yay me, and I was fine during treatment, but then I had to deal with the reoccurance and then I got mad, and sad.  And mad. And why the fork did this happen to me?!?!?"  Hank......"Ang, you are fine and it is normal.  Feel all that and just let me know, so I know where you are at.  This is big...and too much."  Pause....so how does a guy do this?!?!?!  I am POSITIVE there are better people than me.  How does he meets my needs when I am so...well, shallow?!?!? Pause.....we do the exam and he asks, "Anything else?"  I was like, "Well, I cut off my thumb and I burned my hand, but I am good."  He looked at both and said, "You are lucky these are not infected and get a cook."  I am thinking, "I watched my Dad sew up his knee after a chainsaw "incident".  I know how to disinfect, and sometimes when to go to the doc - or at least who to ask!"  A COOK IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!!!  We stared at each other and I explained my disinfection method and he said, "Okay, sounds good.  Get a cook."  NOT GONNA HAPPEN.  Anyhoo....we are good....

So now to the main story.....Grant cleaning the bathroom.   So, a week or so ago I was out doing something and our friends were taking our boys with their boys to Sunday school.  They mentioned to Grant that they would like to see our downstairs bathroom because we had redone it (twice, remember the flood) and see what they could get from Costco.  So....remember, I am gone.  Boys are going to Church and coming back with the threat of people seeing our downstairs bathroom.  Grant seems to have a moment.  He goes into the downstairs bath and sees all the grossness there is to see.  This is not normal for Grant....you can ask any of his former roommates....there are several.  Grant can ignore, not see, etc all bathroom dirtiness.  But, when he is faced with friends coming to see the bath, he somehow sees what I see.  I come home.  He exclaims, "So, the Crofts wanted to see what we did in the downstairs bath and I had to Pledge it!"'  Stunned and confused, I was like, "You 'pledged' the bathroom?"   "Yes!  They said they wanted to see what we did with it and that they would come after the kids were dropped off."  "Okay.  It was dirty, did they come?'  "NO!  But I cleaned the entire thing!"  This was a bit unbelievable for me as I have been with Grant for 20+ years and the guy has NEVER cleaned a toilet. In fact, it is a joke with former roommates......he just does not clean a toilet.  So, I am torn.  He did a beautiful job, but the drama and the, well, tutorial to the boys was questionable.  In his panic, he had the boys to clean the bathrooms upstairs.  They did a great job, but they cleaned everything but the area in the toilet above the water.  "That is what Daddy said, "Clean everything to the top of the water in the toilet."  O-K-A-Y.  So, while I am SUPER appreciative, I gotta say, the water BELOW the line is GROSS and needs to be cleaned and why is it that when a guest comes the dirt shows up?!?!?!?!

Pause.....so, I think this is SUPER amazing.  Grant has literally not seen bathroom dirt until 20 + years after our marriage when someone was going to come and see it and he cleans it, but when he tells the boys, he says clean everything ABOVE the water......OMG.  Okay.....this is one of those things I have to just settle in with......God help the girls they marry.......since when has the water BELOW the line been cleaner?!?!??!   Forever confused.....and happy.....

Happy Sunday - Seahawks won!!!!!

Ang


Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Last weekend....

I apologize.  I made several people concerned and I get it.  But you have to understand.  My blog is my place to put all my crap.  Honestly, I can blog and then go out to dinner and have a great time.  I do not hold on to my feelings.  I leave it here.  I have to, my emotions are strong and hard.  I need to put them somewhere.  So, this is what happen AFTER I posted...

Last week went okay until Thursday.  I was getting my scrap booking stuff together.  I had not been on my scrap booking weekend for over 18 months.  I was finishing a lot of albums, but I also had so many crafts to do that I brought them too.  Thursday night....I am preparing dinner.   I am cutting up cabbage for my Mom's sausage, cabbage, potato, carrot, onion and celery steam and I cut off a huge part of my thumb.  Like HUGE.  Remember, I am on blood thinners and I have been really good about taking them......hence LOTS OF BLOOD.  I had the boys go over to my neighbors and get Trina.  Trina is a sister to me.  Tells me what I want to hear and what I don't and vice versa.  We love each other to death. I initially am like, "Can't I just cut it off and call it good?"  Trina was like, "Yeah, I don't think so.  That is a lot of real estate on your thumb."  "But I have scrap booking this weekend!"  "Okay, but do you want to bleed all over the books????"  "I can't go into your new car with a bloody thumb."  "Don't bleed in it."  Really, arguing is pointless.  The boys called Grant and he is like, "Do I need to come home?"  "No, Grant I am just calling to say, I cut my finger and all is good." 22 years of marriage.  WTF.  Yes, come home.  The boys stay home, and Trina takes me to urgent care.  Grant comes home and gets all the boys to all their sports.  I am in urgent care for 5+ hours.  They do come out initially and wrap me up because they know me.....I only go to places I am known.  They give us snacks at 6pm, not to say that Trina didn't have snacks, water, entertainment, etc.  She really is the one you want in an emergency.  And so we start.....the doc is like, "Well, we can do it this way, but there are complications to that and that way, which is better, but I can't get near your nail...."  I am like, "Okay, doc, here is the deal.....bilateral lung surgery, and trans anal tumor removal.......cut on my thumb low on the pole.....what is best....and just bring it!!!!!"  She looked me straight in the eye and say, "Okay, we will do it this way...."  By the time we got home, dinner was completed, Trina and I had laughed until our sides hurt, and I was ready for scrap booking.  Friday morning came, I went to Fred Meyer for gas and food and off to scrap booking......I got there.  Exhale.  I know the room, I have my roommate minus one, but okay, and I am feeling good until I pull my food out of my bag and my whiskey that I bought for the weekend still had the frickin' lock on it.  I hate self check out!!!!!!  Fred Meyer keeps bringing me to that aisle and I keep saying I hate it and they keep helping me and then this?  Stitches in my thumb and then I can't even get a drink to dull the pain?!?!?!?!  Another scrapbooker went to town and got it fixed for me - bless Karen.  And my weekend was perfect.  I finished up all my scrap booking, I starting on my projects, one of which was for Beth and I.  I had purchased two gratitude calendars for us, but we were never able to put them together.  This scrap booking weekend was BEFORE November, so I did if for both of us.  What I did not realize is that I needed a stamp set to go with it, so the days before I cut myself I was going to all sorts of stores trying to find enough gratitude items to finish them because there was no time to order.  I did, but it was shaky.   I put mine together first.....wow, that was a good idea.  Beth's looks a lot better.....  See, Beth lost her Mom on Thanksgiving.  Beth was taking care of her.  I was the HR Director at the time and she was stressed about keeping her job.  I held a firm stance saying the right thing to do is take care of your Mom.  She knew it and I just protected her.  I told people, time will pass and she will be back.  It was the right thing.  I was hard core on a lot of things, but in the care of babies and family, I was pretty soft.  Everyone loved me for my hard lines, but looked the other way for my soft ones.  I just get it.  Family first.  I knew it from the day I was born and I could have never taken that away from anyone.  Severance on the other hand....yeah, I don't pay people to not work.  NEVER....SERIOUSLY, and everyone knew it.  Anyway, I have always sent her a card or called her on Thanksgiving.  I am sure it is a nuance, but I need to do it and she humors me with it.  I delivered my gift and had a short visit with her which I was so happy for.  She asked me if I made coffee for Joni my roommate....I said, "I do that for all my roommates.  You know that.  That is my thing."  She frowned and we went on......  I got a piece of myself back that weekend.  My boys LOVE their albums, my friend loves her gift, and I bonded, shared, talked politics and loved my weekend with amazing women.  I am better, my finger is better, and the whiskey is gone.

Love, Ang

P.S. Monday I had conferences for both boy and they were amazing.  Nolan's teacher spoken to him like such and adult about his writing and he is taking is seriously and he agreed.  Seriously?!?!?!  He agreed.  OMG.  Ms. Take is a Saint or God, haven't decided!!!!!  Mason's teacher has made him a teacher's aide to help with kids that are below standard and his leadership.  He was the most requested teachers aide.  I may know something about that, but wow, so proud.  Then my neighbor sends me an email about what a great job I am doing with the boys and I am like, "Wow.....if they only knew...."

Last story.....Nolan wanted to get Izze soda in the little frig.  So, he asked me if he could take out a Martinelli's Apple Cider to fit some in.  I was like, "Fine, whatever."  So, he did and then he put the Maretinelli's in the freezer.  Yep.  The freezer.  So, I go out today to get what I need for dinner and ice foam and green glass shards greet me.  Seeing what I saw, I called the boys and explained to them how this happens and now we need to clean it up.  We do.  It includes freezer work, carpet cleaning, sweeping, etc.  Nolan, as the end says, "Well that is not how I wanted to spend my morning!"  I roll my eyes.  They go off to school.  I get home 25 mins after they do.  They have a plan with a friend, I say, be home at 3.  They are not, I am hunting them down, I do, we get to all the appointments we need to.  We get home.  Nolan asked if he can play/watch all the things I do not let him and he continues.  He is almost late for his doc appt playing the game he does not like.  He asked for candy from the pharmacy after the appt and I say, you have to share with Mason.  He does reluctantly, then he is late to soccer playing the game he does not like.  FYI - There is an enormous amount of commentary on all of this....from him.  I drop him off and he says, "So, you are staying because my hip hurts, right?"  I literally snicker and say, "Nolan, the day started like this........after your appt, I even bought you candy and this happened.......and you want me to do you this favor?!??!!   ........well sorry, you can suck it."  No parent award for me.  I am okay with being who I am.  And I got an apology when he got home.  Exhale....I hope I am doing a okay job....only time will tell, but if being a horrible mom makes him a caring man, so be it.  Best, Ang