May 30th & 31st - The Scans

May 30th - I had a 12:40 appointment for my CT/PET scan. I hadn't eaten anything since 3:30 that morning. I stepped out of the elevator and I wanted to run. There was a man sleeping from exhaustion on the couch, there were old people, young people, women, and men. The waiting room was packed. Grant was with me. He helped me with the paperwork and then left to go to an insurance renewal meeting. Imagine the luck of changing insurance companies in the middle of this.... I almost cried and asked him to take me with him, but I didn't. I had to know if the cancer had spread and the only way to know was to face it like I did with infertility. The difference was with infertility I was mad and confused. With cancer, I was just plain scared. After a short wait, a nice young woman took me back to prep me. She could tell I was overwhelmed and asked me a lot of ice breaker questions. She showed me a scan, explained all the steps, and, all in all, was VERY nice. Forty minutes after being shot up with a radioactive dye, I did the scan. Toward the end, I started feeling like I was going to throw up. When the CT scan people came in for their part, they asked how I was doing. I said, "Let's hurry and get this done so I don't throw up on the machine." I didn't, but it took a good hour to have the feeling go away. I went outside trying to get the nausea under control and I was surrounded by sick people. Everyone I saw was sick, everyone I saw felt sick, and now I was one of them. After another set of food rescritions, I did the rectal ultrasound on the 31st. When I checked in, the nurses said, "You look really familiar...." When I told them what I was in for, they said, "Well, you have the BEST doctor team, and if you were going to choose a cancer - rectal is the best." O-K-A-Y..... Obviously, didn't remember that I was the girl that couldn't fart after the colonoscopy. Seriously - they put you in a room with EVERYONE else and tell you to fart.....are you kidding me????? I am not a public farter.....but I digress..... Anyway, they started talking to me a lot about all of this and I actually felt better. I had to wait for the doctor to perform the ultrasound and they kept bringing me warm blankets and magazines. I finally said, "You know, I am going to think this is a spa pretty quick!" They decided I should be on the next colon/rectal video saying that..... So, I get transported to my room for the ultrasound and, of course, they asked me if I minded if a couple of Renton Voc Tech students observed. I don't know, but I must have this written on my forehead, "PLEASE INVITE AS MANY PEOPLE INTO THE ROOM AS POSSIBLE." This happened with fertiltiy, my goiter, Nolan's delievery, and now my RECTAL ULTRASOUND. I was like, "Sure, whoever you want...." Then, the doctor comes in. He introduces himself and asks me if they gave me barium yesterday at the CT/PET scan. I proudly said, "Yep." He got this discussed look on his face. Obviously, I answered incorrectly. He said, "I moved heaven and earth to make them NOT give you barium and they can't follow simple directions." He asked, "So, how was the prep for this exam?" I replied, "Like fire coming out of my butt. I cried through some of it and I didn't finish the "drink" becuase I thougth I was going to puke." He said, "Well, that was the barium and it also can cloud my picture so we may not be able to do this today." I was like, no, we are doing this. He replied, "Cross your fingers. I am not going to put you completely out and see if we can do this." I said okay. So, soon I was in my very happy place. I didn't care that a scope is up my butt, I don't care that Voc Tech students were observing, I didn't care about much of anything. But, I did contribute.....I was looking at the screen and I said, "It that the tumor?" He replied, "Yes, that is." And then a little piece of something went by and I said, "Is that corn????" Everyone laughed and he said, "Yes, that is corn." I remember NOTHING after that. I woke up and finally ate a sandwich that Grant brought me. It had been 46 hours without solid foods. That sandwich was amazing. I was told that the doctor had already spoken to my surgeon and the onocologist and I was to meet with them for my treatment plan. The wait goes on......