Sunday, January 18, 2009

Grandma's 90th Birthday

Today was my Grandma's 90th Birthday Party. We had a small gathering in the back room of one of her favorite restaurants in Des Moines. She just wanted a small party with friends from Olympia and family. Since she needs nothing, I made her a card, brought carrot cake, and bought her a fabulous tiara. Everyone who turns 90th needs a tiara! The event was going very nicely until......well, if there is one weakness of my husband's it is if something goes wrong with his boys.....Nolan vomited. I was outside having a cough attack from the tail end of a head cold while my youngest was puking everywhere. The waiter told me later that he put some sailors to shame. When I came back in, Grant was wiping off everything and changing Nolan. I helped and told Grant to take him home. I could tell that Grant was already GONE mentally. You see, if one of his boys is sick, it is like his brain shuts off and panic that the sky will fail in the next two minutes sets in. All logic goes away. Up is down and down is up. He took my car keys and left. Remember that part - he took my car keys and left. Ten minutes later he returned asking if my Dad had jumper cables. He did not. I told him about the jump machine I had in the truck. "I tried it. I didn't work." Yep, here we go - full panic. I went out and tried the truck. The keys were in it and I tried it. It just wouldn't turn over. I said "I think it is flooded and we just need to wait." PANIC. PANIC. PANIC. A nice gentleman was next to our car and helping with the same questions. We determined that it was not the battery and that it was just probably flooded. I went back into the restaurant. Then, my Dad started quizzing me. He was not satisfied with my answer, so he went out to look at it. Ten mins later, he returns. "It is your fuel pump or starter." I am thinking, "Nope and nope." Some others at the gathering asked what it could be. I was starting to get annoyed with all this and said, "My husband. I love him, but he is a bit of a wreck when one of his boys is off." I went back out and tried one more time to figure this out. When, all did not make sense, I said, clearly this is something, but I can't put my finger on it. I don't think it is the battery, starter, or fuel pump. It has gas. We are not a hill. This just doesn't make sense, so I asked Grant to call AAA and I would figure out how to get the boys home. I returned to the restaurant and start gathering up our things and asked Mom if we can hitch a ride with her. While her and Dad start arguing about who is taking what car and why, Grant returns to say, "It started." and bolts for the door. I am thinking, I could have gone home with you now, but he was gone. My parents finally stop and I said, "Grant left." Dumbfounded, I explained that while they were "discussing" their stuff Grant started the car and left. Exhale. I ask Peggy to take Grandma home for us because now the car seat/car combo doesn't work, and, she very nicely says yes. I gathered up all our stuff and went out to my Mom's car only to have the waiter run after us with Mason's sippy cup. He said, "You're a bit of a mess, aren't you guys?!?!?!?" Remember this is the man that cleaned up Nolan's puke. I replied with, "I prefer train wreck. Yep, TRAIN WRECK." We got in the car and I just wanted to be quiet. It was hard to process all that had happened. It wasn't a disaster, but everyone was running around like it was. A kid puked. Granted this was really Nolan first PUKE, but kids puke. And what was wrong with my car?!?!?! Surely, it was just flooded. So, we get home and I start to relax from the chaos. I see that Nolan had puked again on the way home. Now, I was concerned. Maybe this is the flu. I started to talk to Grant about how we were such a train wreck at the restaurant and how we could do better the next time someone pukes. I always get overly concerned when he when he is like this because I think, "Dude, what is going to happen if I die? Are you going to be able to handle this?" I know - it is crazy, but I go there. So, as we were finishing up the conversation, I said, "So, when the car started, it just started or what?" He said sheepishly, "Well, I know why the car didn't start." I looked at him pointedly with a "well spill it will ya" look and he said...and I quote....."I had the Focus keys in the Explorer." And there is was that moment in a marriage when words just don't work...when looks go between disbelief, hilarity, and furry...when you just look at each other and think........."FABULOUS." The moral? We don't have one yet but we are going to come up with one, but my question is, "Why the heck do Focus keys fit in an Explorer?" Happy Birthday Grandma! Love, Ang


Anonymous said...

It's 3 oclock Moday morning, I couldn't sleep so I read your blog. Congratulations to your Grandmother, 90 is putting up some big numbers. You really impressed me a while back when you told me about being able to take an engine apart right down to the pistons and crankshaft. Those are skills I never learned. Putting Gas, Oil and wiper fluid taps out my auto repair talent. So trying to start a Ford Explorer with a Ford Focus key must be added to the list of "Don't try this at home..or at the Resturaunt". As for Grant being overwhelmed by baby vomit it happens. Two things we all have trouble with are vomit and diarreah, those are two things that everyone wilts when confronted with, their own or their childrens, or their spouse's.
Your whole "train wreck" episode reminded me of that old Johnny Mathis song "Into Every Life a Little Rain Must Fall". With everything else going on in your life this is a small speed bump on the road to happiness. (God I hate maudlin). love to you and the extended family, pat&mag

Anonymous said...

Increduspousilation??? ie: "I was incredispousulous that he really said that again, especially after the last time he said that." Dumbspousified??? ie; "I had a dunbspousified look on my face, especially after the last time he did that." Flabberspoused??? ie; "I was flabberspoused that this was happening again, especially after the last time this happened." I'll keep working on this. Love Jane

Anonymous said...

Wow, I leave for a long weekend and come home to many "posts" from you. Enjoyed each one last night as I sat down to catch up.
First, cats are amazing and I'm a dog person. But animals truly are the best medicine. They have a sixth sense about their owners and will take care of you just when you need it. I'm so glad you have Africa.
Second, hey I guess already been chewed sandwich is like the 3 second rule when food goes on the floor? It's OK, especially with the 2nd child. That just totally cracked me up!!! Hey, that candy was work eating the chewed sandwich for Nolan. Very gross, but funny.
Third...the keys...yep. There's no moral but you just laugh or you go insane. And it always happens when you are in a hurry or emergency.
Ang, enjoy your day. Thinking of you.
Your unmet friend

Anonymous said...

Africa--so sweet and intuitive. Definitely a puddy to love.


Grant--hysterical. But he's loved all the more for how he loses his cool when worried about the boys.

You--smooth and wonderful as ever.