Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Last Saturday was Mason's first ever T-ball Jamboree. OMG. First, I was never a baseball person. I played sports where you had CONTACT with the ball. Soccer, basketball, etc. Stick or racket sports have NEVER been my strength. I am particularly hilarious to watch at racquetball. I just don't get it and I just stand there laughing hysterically. Anyway, we are there, all is going well and then....yep, you think I would get over this crap, but there are pictures and each team goes across a line with just them and their coach. NO PARENTS. Okay, Mason cannot read, but when I got to the line he said, "Mom, not you. Just me and my team." I replied a bit confused my his ability to know that, "Okay - smile like you do for professional pictures, not my pictures!" I didn't think anything of it, but then I looked around. Grant had Nolan.....and I had....well, I had no one. So, glanced over and there were a group of parents lurking over at the picture site. They were out of calling range, but some parents were still trying. I didn't say a word. A woman started chatting with me, but I couldn't really hear her. I was just staring at Mason. She was talking about Kindergarten. All the kids on the team are divided by school so they will be going together in September and all I could hear was, "BLAH BLAH BLAH..." I just focused on Mason. I knew I was probably being REALLY rude, but I wanted to see if he could do it. He was up next. They give him the bat. They show him how to pose. He does it. On the first try.....and it is BEAUTIFUL. He was perfect. Without me. And then I exhale......he can do it.....I got here.....he is five......I got here. See, I worked at Childhaven and more than that I bought and, quite frankly you should too. I always knew the principles of what happens to kids between 0-5, just by watching how we all grew up. Then, I volunteered in an orphanage in Mexico after college and I found that the kids that were there from birth were FAR better adjusted, socialized, healthy, and happy then they ones that came from a "family" that fell apart, died, whatever. I was a business major, so I wasn't a person that could intellectually talk about it, but it didn't take rocket science to figure it out. When I was first diagnosed, I said, "I need 15 years so that Nolan would be 15." When I realized how bad it was, I prayed for five years. Just five to feel my love, just five to be safe, just five so that he could learn, love, and be loved. Just five. And that is when I turned and went to find Grant. Luckily, the woman got interested in something or someone else, so it didn't look so obvious. As I walked, the tears came. I made it for Mason, now there is Nolan. I guess the the best part was that I truly know in my heart that Mason and Nolan would make it even without me. I have known the greatest community I have even seen - my family, my friends, and some people that I have never met. They took care of me, loved me, cheered me on, cared for me and my family...the list goes on and on. No matter what happens, they will be loved and, most likely (jury is still out on Nolan, but he is coming along) they will love RIGHT BACK. Yeah - I made it. Love, Ang P.S. If you want to know more about child development and the first five years of life, see childhaven.org - they are on Facebook too - who knew?!?!?!
Posted by Angela Clarno at 5:52 PM