Thursday, April 1, 2010

Chest X-ray

in 9.5 hours. I don't know why I am up. I have no reason to believe it will be bad. Yet, here I am - sleepless, restless, and just plain scared. The anxiety started to creep in a week ago.....then it got worse, then better, and then it was AWFUL yesterday. I feel that I may be wearing my friends and family thin with all of this and I am quite sure Grant is done with it. I have asked if this ever goes away. The answer I always get it NEVER - even five years out. I don't want to be this way and I can't figure out how to change it. I try to do things different every time, yet, it is always the same and I forget something (like the water bill) or lose something (like a diaper bag) EVERY TIME. In addition, my Mom is going in for cataract surgery tomorrow. She is actually THRILLED and has been waiting for this for a while. What sort of weirdo wants surgery on her eyes!?!?!?! I see Shelly (my cancer girl that I talked about in January) tomorrow in chemo - she is doing great by the way - amazing girl. We hope that she is done - like done done - in June and she certainly is blazing down that road! And then, I go for my X-ray at 11:40. Susie (my other cancer buddy) just happened to be going to give her blood sample tomorrow, so she said she would sit with me while I wait for results. It will be fine - either way - or so I keep telling myself. On the flip side, when things are NOT anxiety ridden, life is pretty good, pretty crazy and we are now entering the world of potty training for Nolan. Many of you I have told this story too, but a lot mentioned that I need to blog here goes, ending on a crazy/funny note.....enjoy! March 17th email to my baby group......"So Nolan is READY to potty train, but he is just too bull headed and will not even wear the pull ups that I had left over from Mason. (NOTE: Pull ups are a type of diaper that you can pull up and down like underwear - used when you are starting to potty train.) I have done everything, day care/preschool has done everything. Today, I had had it! I said, "Fine, you are buying your own diapers." AND HE SAID, "OKAY!" So, as I was getting ready to go to the store (because we are OUT of diapers), I got their money out, gave them both $20 (of their own money remember) and said they could buy ANYTHING THEY WANT, but Nolan, you have to buy diapers which cost $20, so I guess you can't. We got to the store, Mason picked a toy, Nolan wanted it, but I said, "Nope, you have to buy diapers." So, as we were going to the diapers, he screamed, I am mean SCREAMED, "I WILL USE THE PULL UPS!!!!" and then looked at me and said, "Now, can I get a toy?" I said, "Yep, but remember this, when the pull ups are done, you are either buying your own pull ups OR going in the potty." And then he said, and I don't know how to spell it, but he was like, "AAARRRRGHHHH!" What a TOOL!" ....Okay, fast forward to now....we are low on Pull Ups and Nolan told me he wants to go buy diapers. I said, "You will buy pull ups or go on the potty." We got out the calendar and he decided that he would go on the potty THIS SATURDAY and be potty trained by when the Easter Bunny comes. Quite a feat I am thinking, but he is quite a kid. Wish us luck! Love, Ang


Anonymous said...

I wish you luck on your test results and potty training for Nolan. Think positive thoughts. THere is nothing you can do to change the out come either way. Just keep getting on with getting on. You have what it takes to spit in the face of cancer.


Anonymous said...

To copy Dan Quayle 'A diaper bag is a terrible thing to lose'. You are back dealing with the mundane and common activities of life. Nolan learned a good lesson when you called his bluff in the store, if you make promises you better be prepared to deliver when the time comes.
Please convey my best wishes to your parents, especially your Mom. love to you and your family, particularly Nolan, reassure him that "this too shall pass". pat&mag

erin said...

Wow, I can't believe you reasoned with a toddler-- and it worked?!? I also note that you posted this on April 1, maybe you're playing me?