Friday, November 21, 2008

The best round thus far...

Well, so far, this is the best round I have had this treatment session. Apparently, the change in my nausea meds and the plan that I made with my colon/rectal surgeon for continuous flow (smile) have worked. Too bad it took five treatments to figure it out, but, hey, who is counting? I did have some good/bad news this week. My oncologist told me that because I am doing so well, he believes "we" may continue treatment just to be sure that "we" get it all. Pause. Pause again. Pause yet again. It will all depend on if my blood work stays good and my CT scan the week of December 7th. So, now that you have read that twice, you are probably as confused as I was.....because I am doing so well, I get to do more. No typos. More. If you look at it from the long term, I get it. If you look at it from the fact that I was supposed to be done now, but now has moved to December 4th because of my butt surgery and, now "now" has moved again because I am doing well, you can see my anger when he told me. I held it together and I understood what he was saying. All I could get out was, "I just want Christmas." I couldn't see him because the tears were full in my eyes, but he clearly said, "You will have Christmas." I don't remember much more of the conversation, but I know I said something like, "Well, you're a real downer today" and "I don't know if I want to talk to you anymore." Both things are probably not very good to tell your healer. So, the good news is I am doing great which is also the bad news but such is cancer. Today I am puttering around slowly and now I must go and shower for my boys. I can't wait to see them. Mason is getting excited about his birthday and Nolan, well, Nolan is just excited. I love them so much and for them I will do whatever my oncologist says just as long as I have Christmas. Have a great weekend - mine is looking, Ang

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Keep looking into the faces of those two beautiful boys. We can endure anything for our children. It's always a amazing when we think we have nothing left and our children get us through.
Ang, I'm sorry you are doing so good that they are going to give you more. But if I've learned anything from you it's perspective. I believe these last "extra" doses are insurance of many Christmas's with your husband and boys. You can do it!! Yes, it's hard, it's dirty and it sucks! Keep looking into the eyes of your boys.....know you have a whole community supporting you and praying for you.
Secondly, I'm so proud of you for turning in your application for the colonder. I know that was a difficult endeavor, physically,emotionally and spiritually. But it truly needed to be done. Your story needs to be told to the world. You are going to help so many more people that are hurting and thinking that their life is over. You are going to give them much HOPE. Yes, I believe you were FABULOUS before cancer, and you are still FABULOUS during cancer. And you will always be FABULOUS after this sucky cancer. Yes, you are going to be famous for your butt but you can pull it off:-) There's not a doubt in my mind that you will be chosen, the only question is: what month are you going to be????
Enjoy your Sunday! You deserve it!! We love you!!
Your unmet friend