Thursday, August 14, 2008

You don't know till you know, but you

kinda know... So, last month's PET and CT scan lead to a follow up CT this month which I will tell you a story about later. This month's has lead to scheduling a lung biopsy which is in the works now. This is basically what is happening...I have two growths that have increased in size by 66% and 50%. Now, lets keep this in perspective, the largest one is 13.4 mm which is about a half inch. Both are not showing up in the PET scan has active cancer, but they are showing up in the CT scan as growing. There is an outside chance that they are something else - a fungus, virus, etc., but when I look into my oncologist's eyes and say, "There is a good chance that it is was it was before." He replies with, "Yes, there is a good chance it is cancer." So, the we do the biopsy to be sure. I am not sure how long that will take as different methods are being reviewed. The problem is that it is so small you have to get a big enough sample to test in order for it to be valid. So, can you do that with a needle and hit it? Do they cut me? All of those are for them to figure out. I will probably have results by the end of next week with a plan for treatment if necessary. If I go back into treatment, it would be chemo again - same type, same routine. But this time I am healthy and I am expecting to do very well at it. I mean, yeah, it is still chemo, but the alternative is way worse. So, if you are still wondering why we are treating something that is not registering "cancer" think of it this way....if you have a growth somewhere, say a polyp in your colon, they remove it and test it for cancer. This is the same thing they are testing it to see if it has cancer cells BEFORE it gets nasty and says, "Hey, look at me, I am going to spread and kill you." We are beating it to the punch and saying (with treatment), "Yeah, well, we showed up too. Hit me with your best shot sucker!" Welcome to cancer "maintenance". I am oddly calm about all of this. Probably because I have such an amazing support network, maybe because I know there is a solution, maybe because a friend of mine is getting my "TINK" hat in Disneyland as we speak (appropriate for chemo I'd say), I don't know. So, if I have made plans with you lately and I don't show up, forgive me. Life is going to get a little interesting in the next little bit. Don't worry - I am okay...love, Ang

5 comments:

karen said...

glad you're okay. Please feel free to activate the network as needed.

Loves

Jill said...

"activate the network"... hee hee... sounds like you're a secret agent or something. :)

I hope it's all ok and you kick it's ass with your new hat. Do you need us all to clap and "believe"?? we do!

auntie jane said...

Did you know that the street next to ours is named "Tinkerbell"? Perhaps the child of the person who developed the neighborhood chose the name, or Tinkerbell really lives over there, who knows? I always think of you, Miss Angie, when I take my walks and pass along that street. Today I think I'm gonna scream "I Believe" as I walk down Tinkerbell. It's OK...it's the south. They won't think I'm crazy just very religious. Where do you get those hats? It would complete my efforts. Love ya, With Ya Jane

Laurie said...

Babe, I happen to have 4 sets of fairy wings and countless magic wands at my disposal. We seriously believe at my house! And now that I know of your fondness for the winged set, I will be thinking of you more than
I already do -- and I'll be willing sprinkles of pixie dust your way each time I see my daughters reach for their favorite sparkly accessories.

As for your current calmness, I imagine it exists because of the loving and supporting "network" of amazing people in your hometown who will always have your back. But it also comes from the awesome warrior within you.

xoxoxo
Laurie

Karen said...

Ironically, my network is of ninja assasins, rather than fairies, but they will kick the butt of any dirt hiding in Angie's carpet, can prepare pasta, salad or chicken as needed, and be all stealthy too! They're very talented.

(aah, Jane! why must you live so far away!?)