Sunday, January 24, 2016

People say to me regularly, "I don't not know how you do it....." Well, I don't.....

Okay, yes, my life it "different" than others.  My "activities" are, well, "sometimes more intense.", but life is not easier for me than anyone else.  Let me explain.....

So, life continues on.  With cancer, without.  And then with kitchen flooding and a Alzheimer's diagnosis.  It does not care if you have been burdened, infertililty, have cancer - you know the terminal kind or really anything.  So, here I am.

I manage a terminal disease of Stage Four Colorectal Cancer that I get to have four surgeries for of late ( two down, two to go) and then, as you know, my kitchen flooded, and my Father was officially diagnosis with Alzheimer's.  Yeah, it is bad.....

So, here is the deal.  We do not tell him.  It just makes him sad.  We tell him that he has trouble with his memory.  He remembers things in bits and we are so happy when he does.  However, my mother, as of September, had not paid a bill in her life.  There is a learning curve.  The only one he trusts is me - and that is limited.  He wants me to balance the checkbook - are you kidding?!?!?!  So, I have introduced him to online banking.  Not that he can log on and check, but to how it works.  He is pretty good, but always asking questions.  Seriously?!?!?  The checks clear so fast.  He is amazed.

In any case, my Mom and I have it handled.  Accounts, bills, etc.  I meet with them every week.  We do the bills, things are paid, and, well, everyone is fed and watered.  We just wait for the next debacle....

On another note....everyone in my world is always amazed at how I "handle everything".  Well, first, I have no choice.  Second, I have a lot of support from family, friends, etc.  And, third, well, I just don't.  At school, we have a new Principal.  She is truly lovely.  As PTA President in her last year, things have been different, but not as you would unexpect from a change.  I have been saved from some things and thrown into others, but it is all good, as all experiences are.  So, as I am wrestling up the last Student Leadership Meeting on Thursday where somehow we have almost 10% of all the students in an over populated school there because we did not want to be unexclusive, I started to get a migraine headache.  I turned to my co-volunteer and said, "I cannot talk I am starting to get a migraine."  No one noticed.  Not even the teachers that talked to me on the way out to the car.  I was escorted home by volunteers because my bigness concern was that none of the students know.

 So, no, you can't do everything and I can't either.  I would have been fine if my kitchen had not flooded and if my Father did not call me every other day because he is afraid.  But, I am going to finish my promise and I am going to answer my phone and I am going to get the kitchen that, quite honestly, I want.  Funny thing is, I am in a Bible Study right about boundaries, and making space, and making space for Sabbath.  Odd how things happen.....

Next year....well, next year is already planned.  I will do the Treasurer position of Neely and for Kent Area Council if they will have me, but nothing else.  Happy to volunteer, but not to lead.  I have done that enough and I need to take care of my own again.  I loved my work at the school, but it has become too much and I need to balance.  My tour of duty of three years is over as of June.  I will be happy in my limited, yet still engaged role.

Happy Sunday,

Ang

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good for you !!!!
Time to say No and let others do their part .
Sorry to hear about your Dad guess we always knew that could be the diagnosis
Hang in there and we will have a great lunch on feb 1st to talk

Love YA Peggy

Heidi said...

Sorry about your Dad, Angela. My Dad had it for years and Mom took care of him until the end. It's not easy, but the effort is worth it. Tons of good resources out there, I'm sure you know that.
Always thinking of you and wishing you well.

Heidi Weston