Tuesday, October 11, 2011
So, that was interesting!
So, Grant and I returned from a short trip to Galiano Island for our anniversary. I crossed the border (Galiano is one of the Gulf Islands on the Canada side...) with my new passport. It was the perfect getaway. Grant and I haven't been somewhere that sleepy since getting a flat tire in the "little car" in Tahis which is a wickedly long story that I tell WAY better than Grant does - stupid Karst topography! Anyway, we had a great time. The food (when it was available) was EXCELLENT, the hikes breathtaking, and the kayak trip amazing but only after the safety orientation that freaked me out so badly, I escaped before we did the dock dismount screaming, "Yes, I have sunscreen!" (very thorough orientation) and promptly ran into a boat in the harbor. I was fine after my mental readjustment of, "S..T, I am GOOD at this and I have bigger problems than F.....N sea kayaking!" :) Monday morning, I got the call with the plan. It started with, "You have been the topic of conversation with lots of people the last few days....after discussing it with all of them both Friday and today, we have decided that (basically) to do nothing because general radiation had a higher probability for doing more harm than if we waited to see if 1) they grew or 2) they spread. Now, I know that hearing, "Do nothing for three months" may sound scary, but I actually get it. See, there is a kind of art form to this and if, say they did general radiation and something then popped up very close to that area later, we could do more damage than good, and we could be SCREWED. That is why they originally wanted to do Cyberknife because it is WAY more accurate and, still dealing with the collateral damage that I have from my pelvic radiation, I get it. He explained it so much that I actually stopped him and said, "Four and a half years ago I wouldn't have understood this, but remember I have had pelvic radiation. I know what you are saying." Now, you may remember from my last post, he didn't want to do cyberknife because there would have to be too many markers put in for three spots in my left lung and there was too much of a chance of a hole in my lung, BUT there is software out there that can do it WITHOUT markers but the physicists are not ready yet....well, listen up....SOOOOO I said, "You know, I have been thinking a lot about this too, and I actually have some thoughts. May I share? "Absolutely!" "Okay, I get that we do nothing, but I was on chemo light..blah...blah...blah..and it worked on my lungs taking away all the spots. My life was actually okay on this, so how about I work with Hank, but I think I could buy some time using that or waiting, whatever Hank thinks, but in the meantime would it be at all possible for me to meet the physicists to talk to them, help them, whatever to get to the place where they are comfortable with the software, the "marker" issue then is gone (no lung leakage), and then we can do cyberknife? I know this may be out of bounds for a patient, and not possible, but if I were able to "be real" it may help, but I don't want to be presumptuous...." Pause because he pauses a fair amount. "I think it is an excellent plan. Better than ours." Pause. Pause again. (I am doing something between an imaginary high five and cheerleader jump - silently, or course.) "Okay....so....where do we go.....I will talk to the docs with this plan, but you have to see Hank this week and discuss this with him....and I will talk to my physicists and, either the idea of you wanting to meet them or if you do, this will be good." "I don't mean to be pushy, but I am interested and sometimes interest motivates." "Yes, it does Angie - excellent." I meet with Hank on Friday at 3:20.....God, I hope I am not in trouble, but it is all I got and my Mamma (and Pappa) taught me to use what I got (legally of course). Love, Ang P.S. By the way, they have all concluded that the "spot" in my right side is so stable that it is most likely and believe that it is scar tissue. Angie 1 Cancer 3; more to come...
Posted by Angela Clarno at 3:33 PM