Monday, September 21, 2009


This weekend was full, active, and fun. Saturday morning Mason had his second soccer game. I was a little apprehensive since during the first game he never got the ball and he cried every time there was a goal. Thank goodness, this was quite different. This game he got the ball three times! Because he has never gotten the ball before, everyone (and I mean everyone) cheered and not one parent said, "OTHER WAY!" We all just enjoyed watching him skillfully go the WRONG DIRECTION. The next two times he got it straighten out and went the right way. Parents cheering all the way - either way!!! Saturday night, we went to a party. It just wasn't any party. It was the 4th annual "Happy to be Alive Party." The good part was that I was there. The bad part was that the one that started the party wasn't. Bittersweet. As, one famous cancer survivor said, "Live Strong." We did...and do. The Hostess of the party was very excited to be able to offer me a Lemon Drop literally upon entry to her house. I ended up having two and being pretty looped. These were not my watered down version!!! We had a ball and the kids were so happy they want to go EVERY YEAR (which I think is a requirement and FINE with me)! Sometimes I feel so far away from it now and I am trying to find my footing. It feels like I don't know anything but having kids and having cancer anymore. I don't really know what is expected of me because really, when you have cancer, NOTHING is expected of you. You throw on a clean shirt and some mascara and everyone thinks you are marvelous. The bar is REALLY low. I will figure it out - it is a good problem. On another note - I am happy that I still appreciate the little things. For example, I woke up early Monday morning. I have been getting up two to three times a week before Grant leaves for work and walking. That morning I was really early! I noticed it was cold and I looked at the temp outside. 47 degrees. I got my ski coat. The ski coat I bought after Mason and before Nolan that has never been skiing and barley been worn. I put on my gloves and left. The beauty of this is that I could. Before I didn't even think about leaving the house before 10am. I would only go out if it was that cold because I had to. I would be in full scarf, gloves, etc. I would have extreme pain in my fingers, toes and throat. Today, no scarf and my throat didn't close up. The drugs that do that to me are gone. This is the first autumn in two years without cancer treatment. I walked, remembered, and teared up at how grateful I am to be here. To see the sunrise in front of the glass. As the stars faded and the sun came up, I knew it was going to be a great day. Cheers, Ang


Anonymous said...

Pretty soon you will be having morning coffee with Grant and things will become like old times.
Fortunately the "Bar" is flexible it moves higher as you get back to
the way things were. Don't be impatient dear let life flow, man plans and God laughs as you say.
By the way do many of your friends "twitter" ? I do not know how and when my son tried to explain it I complained about the brevity of the messages and the abrieviations. But I got brushed off with an "O Dad".
love pat&mag

Anonymous said...

Wait a mintue girlie...remember the bar was NOT set lower, in fact, it was set as high as a 100 story building and baby you cleared it!! Celebrate.

Love & Laughter,