Saturday, May 30, 2020

Dr. Soma entered the room and says, "Well your scan was not satisfying."

I kinda knew that.  Too many oxygen issues, too many pains, too many weaknesses.  So, the tumors in my lungs have gotten smaller, YAY.  There is a gray mass in my upper right lung that they now need to follow, but I have been having sternum pain.  Before in October, when Dr. Flashy (Gordon) worked on me I was hospitalized with severe sternum pain. He believed that his process activated it.  Well Flashy, I think you are off the hook, not that I put one on you.  I could breathe so much better I wanted to kiss you!  But now it is back, not as bad but annoying and with the scan we may now know why.   This is why EVERYONE needs to stay on top of their treatment.  It is easy to ignore.  I personally hate it.  BUT I have seen more of my boys, my family, and traveled all over the world with them because I fight.  My eldest is so surprised at how calm I am in chaotic markets because I choose tours that show us that because I love them and so does my family.  He says, "They touch you on the hips and moved you.  Doesn't that bother you?'  I reply with, "I traveled early on and found that people are really kind, but you have to open.  All the people at the SUPER chaotic fish market were looking out for me and doing their job.  I have to let them do it.  They also never asked me to put away my camera which was an honor.  We were allowed (by the fish sellers) to go all the way to the end.  That was the biggest compliment of all."  I don't want my boys to be afraid of travel.  When I went to Mexico to volunteer after college, I was not only escorted in Spanish at the airport.  I got a six month visa, not a three, because I knew "how" to ask.  And when I was dropped to my driver I asked why the officer spoke to me in only Spanish and my Spanish was BAD.  He replied, in Spanish, "You were very comfortable here.  I knew you loved or lived in Mexico."  I hugged him and went with my escorts.  Love was the right answer.  I have been treated amazingly in all countries (outside of France during a train strike - where TOURIST INFORMATION WOULD ONLY SPEAK IN FRENCH.  Mom was able to ask the questions and we both could get the answer and for some reason I could understand the train station intercom because they were changing tracks all the time.  Not going back there.......)

Anyway, so beyond teaching my kids to not be scared traveling.  Also, teaching them the ins and out of remote work.  Things have been okay.  I will continue to Chemo until Julyish and then get a consult with Cyberknife and Dr. Landis after a PET and if my Sternum sites are hot.  I told Dr. Soma, he adores me and I adore him, so be prepared!  Dr. Soma is like, "Great, so I am going to call him, ask him and he will want to see you next week, when I need him to see you in July."  Pretty much, "Yup!"

Not the news I was hoping for, but pretty much expected.  Next time I will tell you my plan if I had a two month to live scan.......has to do with living legacy and righting wrongs......Soma said, I will live past November so it is probably out.  DARN!

Happy Friday,
Ang

3 comments:

Carrie P said...

Love you Angela!!

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