Wednesday, October 16, 2019

My cup runneth over.....

First, I do apologize.  I did leave a lot of people hanging, but I had a lot of my life to live and I did that......

I met with Hank on Thursday of last week.  We did not look at scans, I downloaded what I gathered happened which was confirmed (sad that I understand it now), and we talked about what we can do now.  There are two traditional chemo therapies - one I was on 11 years ago during general radiation to my pelvis.  The other I do not know.  Both are toxic to the system, both have unflattering side effects, both hurt your blood counts.  Now, my blood counts are good, but not normal.  After 99 hits of traditional chemo, that cannot be expected.  But, there is a "new" thing.  Keytruda was an immunotherapy and this is a genotherapy.  The first works with your immune system.  The second with your DNA - I think....  Upside, not toxic.  Downside, sometimes not effective and you pay for the test $4700.  One blood test - $4700, unless insurance decides to pay.  Now, let's be realistic.  I am not a good bet - they have rejected other things - treatment things, but in the end, I got them or a version of them.  I have never gone without care.  SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I do the blood test and the result come in in three weeks.  There are up to six genotherapies with a vast variance in success rates.  I don't know what it looks like, I don't know how or if it will be, but I can tell you, if I qualify, I will do it.  Blessing one.

Blessing two - Canadian Thanksgiving.  A family that we LOVE from the great white north came for Canadian Thanksgiving.  Rob, Jen and the GIRLS - both - visited and we did the pumpkin patch, big amazing Turkey dinner - butter under skin forever, Hong Kong Market (inside joke), the last stay at the Hawthorne Suites (inside joke), etc.  Now, remember Robin has the same cancer I do, so when it is just our families, things are a bit easy.  No judgement....no questions.....half sentences....because we get it.  It is like a vacation from the the normal to our normal. I like it.  Robin probably hates it, but I have never put too much into his feelings, so we are good.  LOVE YOU ROBIN!

Blessing three - Monday, I was at acupuncture.  I love Jessica and she is amazing.  We do acupuncture and then she wanted to really get me in a good space, but I started talking politics.  She is so awesome.....she was like, "Okay, so we talking about that, but now we need to put that away.  Gather it up and set it against the wall and work on our focus and your healing." Okay, not exact quotes, but close.  So, I do.  Up against the wall, pixsy dust and stars, everything positive...  "Okay, now we are going to move the negative out of the room......so we do and she and I both feel another "being".  NOTE:  Usually, when you do this it is self motivated.  You are moving the energy.  You are moving the light.  Jessica pauses and says, "I think that was God.  He was like first in line saying, 'Yeah, I will just take that from you.'  You told me you had a relationship with him but, HOLY COW."  I felt it too, never quite that strong other than the time, I wanted to die and he wouldn't let me.  It felt good and I was calm.  All I could remember..."Be not afraid."

Blessing four - My Mom's hip surgery went swimmingly.  Text book.  She was great.  Let the healing begin!

Blessing five - On my way back from the hospital to pick up the kids, I got a call from the blood test people.  CRAP.  I called back.  My test will be paid in full, I just need to fill out one more form.  "Yes, I can scan and send.....email it to me....."

Tomorrow, I am going to Bible Study to celebrate with them (no I didn't finish the study, but Day 3), the hospital to tell my mom that the hip fell out during surgery, they had to refit it, it was touch and go but we thought we got all the gangrene but only time will tell. lol. I am really there to get her out of bed and love her, and to love and curse the rain, have my kids forget stuff for school, cook an amazing recipe from a box that keeps coming every week that I don't know is sending, and just fricking keep swimming.

My cup runneth over......

Happy Wednesday,

Ang








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