Friday, June 3, 2016

My Birthday Week, Nolan, and not so graceful parenting.....

It started fun and then Tuesday both boys woke up green.  "I am pooping A LOT!!!!"  "I started pooping a lot at Grandma's!"  Needless to say, we stayed home.  They ate almost nothing and slept a lot.  Wednesday eating back to normal, still some napping.  Thursday, we are back to school. Thursday was my birthday, but Grant brought me my flowers, card, and ice cream cake on Wednesday. We are having a crazy baseball week.  Three game in four days.  Grant told the boys to write out/make a card for me.  Mason did.  Nolan gave me the pictured.

I should tell you that I have been taking a "Grace Based Parenting Class."  This meant to me in this moment, I should kill him "Gracefully." Funny funny ha ha.  Not really.  Okay, back to it.  I had to explain to him that I stopped their allowance because it is a performance based system and since there had been NO PERFORMANCE there is no money.  Usually I will give them $3 just for breathing and going to school, but not for crying about how much homework they have, NEVER making their beds, the cats are living in squalor, etc.  "What is squalor?"  My response, "Do not worry, you are about to know...." In addition, I said, "I have just stayed with you for two days, sought and provided your every need, and this is your response on my birthday?!?!?"  In addition to that, I do not want presents!!!!!!!  I want a card.  I got a card.  On my birthday proper, it was a super busy day, Bible Study Brunch, pick up Clifford Costume, drop at school, Student Leadership meeting, Baseball at 4:00.  At 3:00, I am exhausted.  In the truck, we discuss how Mason is getting dressed for baseball and Nolan will do his homework.  Nolan has also decided that he does not want to go to baseball but Family Health Night at school.  What happens.....they both get out of the truck, play outside until Mason comes in stomping and pouting about Nolan.  Then Nolan comes in and they are both talking and crying at each other about how the other one gets their way all the time, etc, etc. etc.  Apparently, siblings do this all the time - what do I know about it?!?!?!  I start conflict resolution on them, but apparently, it just turns to the most ridiculous crying, insult flying, self promoting crap fest ever,.......clearly, I should have repeated the rules AGAIN.  Then, I was just, "Nolan, do your homework.  Mason go outside." Grant comes home, gets briefed, get Mason and I stay home with Nolan as we are going to the Family Night at school.  I check Nolan's homework of which he states, "You are wrong.  I do not want to be here.  I want to go to the beach.  I don't like Mason.  etc. etc. etc."  While I am still trying to come up with graceful ways of wringing his neck, I just grab my purse and leave.  I wanted pizza, but I was going to Family Night, but NOT ANYMORE.  I am doing what I want on my birthday.  Yes, I left my nine year old at home.  I said, "I will be back with what I want to do for dinner tonight."  When I got home, Nolan was so nice and I was just like, "Why are you being nice now?!?!?!  Nolan, I can't take it."  The evening got worse from there.  We never made it to Family Night or Baseball.  I ate A LOT of pizza on my couch with a martini and refused to speak to anyone.  No one was following my protocol for dinner where my silence was broken (too bad for them) and the "easy ways to dispose of latex paint by drying it on a tarp and throwing it away" turned into the tarp flipping over paint on my driveway and on the grass, too big to fit in my garbage, and me infuriated.  Still mad, I then asked Grant why he can't fill the paint hole or is that, "A weekend project?!?!?!"  That did not put us in a good place, but I do not have weekend projects, my entire life one never ending project of taking care of Mason, Nolan, and Grant.  It is 24/7, 365 even when I have doctors, low tire pressure, paint to dry, toilets to clean, PTA, Student Leadership, laundry to do, etc. etc.

Then, I went to bed.  This morning I talked to Nolan and said, "What will it take to make you happy?  You don't like living here, you don't like your room, you don't like playing with Mason, you don't like that we go mountain biking, you say we can't play soccer properly, Nolan what?!?!?!  If you had three wishes, what would they be?"

Nolan's wishes:

1.  Teach him how to set his alarm clock.
2.  Nolan and Mommy day EVERY week.  This was negotiated down to a date every week.  Nolan clarified it is not the kissing kind.  Check.
3.  Couldn't think of a third.

"And this will make you happy?  No more negative statement, no more complaining about EVERYTHING from food to our cars, no more complaining about soccer, hockey, baseball, track, and basketball (two of those are his....), no more no more?

"Yep."  "Deal."

Here is being graceful,



Unknown said...

You are so, dare I say, normal. Glad to took back your birthday!

Anonymous said...

Hello once again my Dear Angela, you are so brave and I admire you.
Keep so strong and fight it back... I AM with you from Mexico.
Happy birthday and a big kiss anda a big hug.
Javier Arellano

Victoria said...

Love reading your blog and the stories you tell so well. Your mother was my English teach at Highline and I adored her.

Angela Clarno said...

Javier and Victoria, my Mom saw both of your comments. She says hello to both of you. She is 74 years old now and has a lot of trouble with her hearing. I adore her also. Cheers, Ang

Victoria said...

I can't believe we're only 7 years apart in age! So sorry her hearing isn't up to par...this getting old is not so much fun but it certainly beats the alternative! Tell your mom that the class of 1967 is planning their 50 year reunion...hard to believe!