Monday, February 22, 2016

So much has happened....and Maggie......

Since my last post so much has happened......little things, big things, but they all effect us.  I have received A LOT of comments on my secret hope for my future.  Only one guessed right, but the encouragement from all of you was unsurpassed.  I need to just go for it, but I need to time it right.  My life is really not my own right on....get coffee or a glass of will take that long...

1.  I have broken down my position of PTA President is into a bizarre about of jobs and it will be posted in the March Newsletter with the tag line, "If these jobs are not taken, they will not be done and that would be sad."  Everyone is supportive of me....the challenge is me....but I am ready for it.

2.  My Father is doing MUCH better.  Not with his memory, but with him dealing with it.  He calls me if he is nervous and that is all I can ask for and for some strange reason, I calm him.  You see, he is suppose to take care of my Mom.  That was the goal his whole life.  Despite all the things he said and complaints he had about her spending, he was to take care of her.  With me, he can.  It is sweet yet daunting, but I take it on because, well, that is my duty.  I am an only child of an only child.

3.  My own family is challenged.  Grant has been sick for two weeks.  He fought through the first.  We vacationed through the second with him down for two full days, but when he came home, I was like, "You are here and will go to the doctor and will not leave the house until you are completely well."  That could be a while.  He went to the doctor and he is just, well, sick.  The good news, he has cough syrup with codeine and a bunch of other drugs to "relax" him until cure.  I am not budging.  SORRY!

So, during President Day Break we went to Big White like we usually do.....I loved having a kitchen with an oven and a dishwasher!!!!!  I did a complete Turkey Dinner which, yes, was RIDICULOUS, but I do  not care - I got to cook!  We went to Kelowna to visit Rob, Jen, Nadia and Tash.  We love them so much.  Mason is actually go to stay with them for a week for Hockey Camp this summer - what a treat!  Mason is so excited and I have to say, they are not know EXACTLY why, but I am goin' with it.  But AFTER the Kelowna visit, we drove to Wenatchee, picked up a car that Grant and Mason left in for a Hockey Tournament in Spokane and Nolan and I returned to Seattle for his Basketball game.  Yes, we are that family.  CRAP.  Anyhoo.....I also learned that there was a funeral in Seattle that I needed to attend.  Maggie Kennedy Gogerty had past.  I knew that is was immanent, but I did not know it was then until I got the email over wifi in Kelowna.  "Grant, you know I have to be there."  (This is when Grant and I were discussing if I should go to Spokane in his stead......he is one of the coaches, so it was a bit ridiculous, but okay.....)  "Of course, they were good to you."  And it was done.  So, I go to Nolan's Basketball Game with his Grandma (my mother) and leave in the middle with my mother's blessing and Nolan's blessing because he gets to go to Grandma's that has NO LIMITS on X-Box or iPad time.  My Mom tears up saying good-bye because she knows how much they meant to me.  I go, blasting my music, with the windows and sunroof open with my sunglasses on because, well, it was a beautiful day and Maggie would be pissed if I didn't enjoy a beautiful day. I arrive to Auburn Childhaven.  No directions.  Know EXACTLY where to go.  Park and see the family arrive.  I give them their moment, look inconspicuous (I know - challenging for me), and go in.  BTW - they did not notice me, so HA!  I see so many people that I remember and LOVED.  It really was a true celebration.  There were beautiful flowers - a must for Maggie.  There was beautiful food which Maggie also loved.  I hugged people, shared stories, and, saw Pat Gogerty, her husband, my boss.  I do not know how I exactly got my relationship with Pat, but I think it was when I stood up to him.  This was a long time ago and he said, something to the effect of, "I am old enough to be your Grandfather!"  and I yelled, "I don't let my Grandmother talk to me like that!"  Pat took out his hearing aids (which was a sign he was DONE and I stormed out of his office.)  Maggie was there and followed me down the stairs begging me not to quit and I turned to her and said, "I am not quitting but I am not martyr, so he and I have to get that figured out!"  She stepped back and said, " will do just fine."  I asked if she was going back up to his office and she said, "No.  There is no point in that....I have work to do!"  What I learned is that was Maggie.....she also told me his driving was a bit of a adventure.....I agreed, but I am not known for my "safe, perfect, driving".  I did not really understand what is was to be in the umbrella of the Gogerty's until I attended their wedding on Vashon.  A coworker was in a situation with the care of her family.....I was, as HR Director, the portal to her career it seemed, and everyone, and I mean everyone, was supportive of me and gave me accolades for what I saw was doing the "right thing."  I loved them for it.  So, was I there for a wedding or for an employee.....I was there for both.......that is the Childhaven way.  Nothing is ever separate because it cannot be.  BRAVO.

 So, here is what I did not say.....there was an opportunity to say was you remember about Maggie.  Mine recollection was not about work but about when I was sick.....She and Pat would cook these elaborate meals and meet Marlene Carter at the ferry dock or Pat would drive them to me after lung surgery to my parents house where I was cared for.  He would then tell them stories about  me and how "obstinate I was" or how I did a great job.  My parents loved it, while I, well, I admired the attention.  He would say things to me like, "Angela, you look pretty good and you know I would tell you if you did not and if you needed to get you stuff in order - you know, for death."  I would respond with, "Yes, Patrick, I am well aware of you tell me the brutal truth."  "But you look good!  Really for your condition!', he would reply.  In every meal that they sent there would be fresh fruit all cut up with a can of whipping cream.  During the entire time of my real fight with cancer, I had whipped cream in my frig.  My boys used to call it, "Maggie's cream" and so it is today.  My frig ALWAYS has a can of real whipped cream.  I thanked her once for it and she said, "Everyone needs more whipped cream in their life."  I can also hear the, "not that crap cool whip that people buy.", but I was sick and she was kind.  I do not think my frig will ever be without it now.  My boys now LOVE to shoot it in their mouths and I let them.....that may be bad, but y'know in the scheme of things, I thing it is fun and I think Maggie would too.

When I said goodbye to Pat he said, "This will probably be the last time I see you and that is okay."  Pause.........Okay, so I get it.........I have had the near death experience.....I know how peaceful it is there.......he is old.......I get it......I said good bye to my grandma.....I get it..........I stayed strong.  Pause.....I told him that he needs to do whatever he needs to do and I would see him on the "Flip side".  I told him I loved him and I think he got how "I got it".  He was cute and said, "Yeah, the flip side....."  What he does not know unless he reads this is that as soon as I turned from him and left, I broke down. Patrick Gogerty was a light in my life.  I love him.  I would follow him into fire without question if he told me to.  He is my guy and he knows it and I will see him again.  Here is to the flip side.

Love, Ang

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