Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Things I am not used to.....

Things that I am not used to....

Being Superbowl Champions.  Quite honestly, being any Champion.  I remember the Sonic winning the NBA Title in 1979, but I was young.  I remember Allison, my BEST friend in the whole wide world, went to the parade.  Everyone was SOOOOOOOOO jealous.  So, I (despite my better judgement) am taking Mason, Nolan, and Mia down to the parade tomorrow.  It is a half day at school anyway, so really, school should be canceled, right?  It has been so interesting around Seattle.  Everyone is on a high, almost euphoric.  BUT......this is telling......I went to Fred Meyer yesterday to see if they still had any cupcakes or decorated cookies.  There was NOTHING.  Not a crumb for blue and green frosted cookie ANYWHERE.  There were Superbowl Champion T-shirt, but that was IT.  It was like they cleared everything expecting us to LOSE.  BAD BAD Fred Meyer.

When your doctor says, "We need to do this fast."  That used to mean tomorrow.  Now, apparently it means on the 28th of February and 1st of March.  My scheduler and I had me on the table last Friday.  And then there were like, "No, we need to see/talk to her first.  I need to look at the scans again."  O-K-A-Y.  Can we define "fast"?  I just want to know cause I am in the middle of Cookie Dough Fundraising and BOX TOPS.  So, then I speak with the ablation doctor.  He is so cute.  He is a nerd, and I adore him.  He tells me EVERYTHING.  He answers all my questions.  He shows me things and he never seems like he is in a hurry.  I ADORE HIM.  Anyway, I have two spots (one left; one right) and he doesn't like the one we just did (left).  So, he explains to me why he is concerned with the last spot and he feels he would like another try at it, BUT he tells me that we can just biopsy it and do the quicky pathology and see if it is live cancer.  If it is, then while I am still out from the new spot in the left lung, we can oblated it.  BUT, false negative can happen and three days later we may have a positive response even if the initial test was negative. Or, we can just watch it.  Or we can just oblate it again.  When I was talking to Hank about these options, I told him that all the pathology seemed trite and a bore.  The watching it seemed passive and I have never been passive....ever.  So, even the ablation doc said, "Now, I believe I know what you are going to choose, but I needed to tell you all your options."  Yes, well, as you probably know, I chose ABLATE.  I didn't get here by dancing around in tulips.  Then another round of conversation went on around me (and without me) because they learned of my ski vacation coming up in Eastern BC.  Bless them.  "Angie, we know how important your family time is and we do not want you to have any complications, so go, we will do it afterwards.  It will be fine.  You know, I ski.  Well, some people who watch me don't say that it is skiing, but I ski........"  Bless them.

And here is the final thing (boys you may not what to read this).  As you know, my scan was last week and they always ask, "When was your last period?"  And I always tilt my head, squint my eyes, and say.....2008? And then I say, 'One of the few silver linings, but I will take it - it is AWESOME!"  AWESOME IS OVER.  On Saturday, I was crabby and I wanted McDonald's - I do not eat McDonald's except for fries at the 212th McDonald's on East Valley Hwy.  THE BEST!  SORRY.......okay, I am almost completely regulated.  I am on hormones, an anti depressant, etc.  I don't feel much other than anger, depression, and PTSD all centered around cancer.  And even with that I am all, "This will pass."  Then, I went to the bathroom and saw blood.  Okay, I have seen a fair amount of blood down there in the past six years, but this was in the wrong location and the first thing I think is, "I am internally bleeding!"  Nope.  Then I start looking like "Sherlock" going to his MIND PALACE and say, "OMG! Could I be having a period?!?" Sherlock would definately not say that.  FRICK.  Yeah, it STILL is a period. The first two people I told were so happy, almost joyous.  "You are getting better!" " You are healing!"  SERIOUSLY.  Au natural is six feet under for me.  I have been maintained by Western Medicine for almost seven years, supported by Eastern Medicine for three, and my boys were test tube babies.  What part of au natural do I represent?!?!?!  Also, this isn't like a happy, healing, egg trotting down my tubes.  It is burnt marshmallow knocking down the side of a hallway and falling out of my uterus!  Could have gone the rest of my life without my period.

Things I don't understand....

Next update after the 28th!

Happy Tuesday!  GO HAWKS!  Ang


Kari George said...

First of all...GO SEAHAWKS! So exciting! Have a fabulous time at the parade! What an experience for the kids...make sure you take pictures and for goodness sakes, do a scrapbook page in their albums, OK?? They need to remember this!

You have been quite productive today, haven't you! Sending out emails waaaaay before 7am...booked a Vegas trip AND blogged all before 10am! WOW girlfriend!!

Of course you chose ablation! You can beat this and keep living your life! Have a fabulous time skiing! Periods are waaaaay over rated!
Love you tons! Kari

Steve Chamberlin said...

I am glad you ended this with a period.

I finally get it.

End of story. Period!